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Girls who hate their bodies when there's nothing wrong with them. Why?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Just been reading the thread about lights on or off
In it Grunge Girl says she hates her body, even though it's slim, and I assume no real problems.
Why do so many girls feel this way about themselves?
Is it simply media pressure (ads, articles, magazines) making them think they're somehow imperfect, or inferior? Or is there something deeper than that?
So, what is it with your girls and your bodies? Personally I don't see what 99% of girls complain about.
Mr_Wobble
In it Grunge Girl says she hates her body, even though it's slim, and I assume no real problems.
Why do so many girls feel this way about themselves?
Is it simply media pressure (ads, articles, magazines) making them think they're somehow imperfect, or inferior? Or is there something deeper than that?
So, what is it with your girls and your bodies? Personally I don't see what 99% of girls complain about.
Mr_Wobble
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Comments
That too I think. It seems that when some people see someone with a slim body etc and it seems that they have it all, people want to be like them.
Maybe a lot of girls put any flaws down to their weight? Like "He doesn't like me because I'm not skinny" or "I can't do this because I'm not skinny" or "I can't wear this on the beach because of my body".
Maybe because we see the kind of girls that our blokes fancy and look at on tv, in magazines etc and we know that our bodies do not look like that in any way at all.
Or maybe it's because blokes are always making comments about girls size, figure, weight, etc when they have clothes on let alone when they're nekkid :rolleyes:
If it's blokes you're trying to impress with your nekkidness then yes
Sure is.
I spent half my time worrying about my weight, and parts of my body. Thing is, unless I go under the knife, there's not a lot I can do.
I always feel really stupid when I'm there moaning about my weight and I see a great big hippo. Puts things into perspective. But I'm sure there's things lads worry about too.
Well look at it like this, if you're trying to impress the bloke then its your problem/responsibility. It's not the blokes fault you're trying to impress him. The way most girls talk on here I'm supprised noone has used the infamous "If he's so bothered about your weight, he's just shallow and not worth bothering with". Am I wrong? Not meant to sound harsh if it does ;p
Ok not necessarily impress, but if you're with a guy who say likes Jordan and you have small boobs then you're going to get paranoid. Same as if he liked Kylie's arse and you had a JLO arse, again you'd get paranoid. And I wasn't talking about blokes who were only interested in your body, they could be interested in everything about you but you'd still want them to think you looked good nekkid!
Anyway, my initial comment about blokes slagging off girls about their weight was actually aimed at Wobble, who in a recent thread told me I'm too skinny and need to put on weight. If that's the kind of comments us girls get from blokes online who have never even seen a full length photo of us, no wonder we get paranoid what guys irl think of our bodies :rolleyes:
I see what you mean, but the door swings both ways. [some] Girls are quick to say things like 'Ooh. Johnny Depp is so fit' or 'Ooh, look at Brad Pitt on that poster', and they are quick to assume that guys aren't bothered. Actually they probably aren't, but if they were how would they try and change themselves? Exercise their cheek muscles to try and re-shape their face?
When you compare losing weight to altering the shape of your face, which one seems more realistically achievable? Maybe the reason guys aren't so bothered is because they know that what many women want isn't achievable. On the other hand what women THINK guys want is achievable, only difficult. The blaming of guys comes from not being able to achieve through difficulty and the paranoia comes from knowing that it's achievable.
Just a suggestion. Dont get flaming meh ;p
There is nothing wrong with my body or the way I look, it's just I am self consious about it because I am a girl and that's what most girls my age do! It is true that I do look at famous people and say "why can't I have bigger boobs?" or "why is my bum so small?" but really when I think about it there's nothing much wrong with me. :rolleyes: Typical girl.
Things like that have just become acceptable, as if she thinks it's fine for her to be paranoid because everyone else is. Things like that put through the message that they're not seriously bothered, but are just making a show out of it.
Don't think I'm having a go.
Let's say what needs to be said for the sake of everybody:
Girls who starve themselves are:
A) Fucked up in the head
C) If they have kids, the kids will be very, very, small.
D) Physically unfit
E) Have a low sex drive
F) Are starving themselves
G) Wasting their time, why don't they just be themselves?
Oh shit, I didn't mean it like that!; I was blaming society as much as anything else, I'm definitely not insensitive. I'm sorry if I caused offence, ok? I didn't mean it at all
Utter bollocks. Complete and utter bollocks.
If it were true, a bloke saying how hot your were would be enough- but it isn't, so it's not.
Women are always judging themselves against other women, and they are out to impress other women. Simple as- it's not blokes that are the problem, it's bitchy women.
I kinda agree with both of you there...
Women DO compare themselves against other women, because we are never happy with what we got, we always want bigger boobs, or smaller boobs, face it, there is never a balance we are NEVER happy with the way we look, there is no perfect size in the eyes of a woman
and usually men, especially when in a relationship are being honest when they say how much they love our bodies, its just about how you carry it, and how you play with the hand you are dealt ie, you accept that you are born as you were and that is how god (or whoever is up there) wants to to be
it could be a mental problem, it could be how the individual interprets a passing comment, they could be being bullied, etc. the list just goes on and on.
for me personally, I have real issues with my body, mainly because i used to be very thin and have recently gained weight and my parents are very quick to tell me (very seriously) 'you're looking a bit too fat lately Naz...time to exercise more!'.
That kind of comment always gets to me, no matter how many other positive comments i get, such as 'you look much better now, you were way too skinny before'. the funny thing is i WAS severely underweight before and only now am I the correct weight for my height. that doesn stop exercising as much as i can though. because I feel overweight. Writing it all down, i feel incredibly stupid, but nothing seems to change my mindset.
i also have this weird fixation with my legs cos i've had tons of operations on them and so they're covered in scars. really noticeable ones. the left leg is also smaller than my right one and its all very embarrassing. so i go through SOOO much trying to find stuff to make them better. and its crazy cos I don't even show my legs anyway. but wenever i get close to a guy i get scared he'll be disgusted by my body and the scars. mainly because they disgust me.
so i guess what i'm trying to say is that before any views from the media or comments from anybody can get to you and affect the way you see your body, YOU have to allow that to happen in the first place. because it doesn't matter if 20 people tell me i;m pretty, if one person tells me i'm ugly, that is what i will focus on because that is what i feel is the truth. if you have confidence in yourself, the opinion of other people and media doesn't make a bit of difference. unless it repeatedly drummed into you.
You complain about people judging you on partial photos. How about a full length photo then?
Anyway, in time, as you get older, the middle age spread will catch up with you.
Mr_Wobble
Mr_Wobble
Good point about the one bad comment sticking in your mind. That's true about so many things in life. If you just realise that everybody has the same worries, and then realise that it doesn't matter, then you can rise above it, and use that knowledge to your advantage - ie stop being so paranoid about it, and let others worry about their self image while being confident about yourself. It takes time though, and it can be a fragile balance at times. It doesn't take much (only that one comment) to put you back down for a while. But if you know that happens, then you should be able to cope with it, rise above it, etc.
It's a cultural thing that drums it into you. It's not just the media, but your friends, your relatives, your workmates, your boyfriend/girlfriend, who obsess about it all the time, and reinforce the idea of perfection (or what is and isn't perfection) that repeatedly drums and drives those fears home. Again, if you realise this is happening, you can start to get over it, and become confident in yourself. It takes time though.
Mr_Wobble
That is sooo true. And when everybody complains about the "media", they're often referring to magazines made by, and edited by, women, for women. It's a vicious, self obsessive, self destructive, paranoia instilling, circle. So, I suppose women only have themselves to blame. At least any woman who's ever read those magazines.
Of course, cliched, pin up and page 3 model idea of beauty also drives this. But you've got a point about women being soooo bitchy about each other. You hear it all the time, critisizing other women about their hair, their clothes, their make up, etc.
Mr_Wobble
What happens is you meet a guy, you compare yourself with his ex. His ex might be slimmer than you, have bigger boobs than you and all you thinkabout is his ex. You start to wonder why did he choose you because your not as good looking as his ex and you put yourself down.
It wouldnt matter if you were Miss World you would still find fault with yourself and thats speaking as a married woman, I still to this day compare myself to his ex.
It hasnt caught me yet
but i do get self concious and it is a thing which I have suffered from for a long time. We all are terrible at comparing ourselves with other people
gooodddddd she was hot in james bond lol... i was like :eek: i wanna look like that! flat tummy, shapely thighs, nice hips, a killer of a tan, nicely sized breasts....
My bird asked me why I don't walk around with no shirt more often in summer.
"Well, all I see when I switch on a TV is blokes with big pecs and 6 packs. Same in magazines. I just don't feel comfortable walking around with no shirt on when I don't look like that"
"but you're a guy!"
"yeah? you think it doesn't work both ways?"
"uhm..err? uh"
She was floored.
So yeah, it's not just chicks.