Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Aged 16-25? Share your experience of using the discussion boards and receive a £25 voucher! Take part via text-chat, video or phone. Click here to find out more and to take part.
Options

Girls who hate their bodies when there's nothing wrong with them. Why?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Just been reading the thread about lights on or off
In it Grunge Girl says she hates her body, even though it's slim, and I assume no real problems.
Why do so many girls feel this way about themselves?
Is it simply media pressure (ads, articles, magazines) making them think they're somehow imperfect, or inferior? Or is there something deeper than that?
So, what is it with your girls and your bodies? Personally I don't see what 99% of girls complain about. :confused:

Mr_Wobble ;)
«13

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think that many want perfection on their bodies, maybe because they feel they would get the things (or people) they want if they are more attractive in their eyes. The mistake they make is trying to make themselves more attractive from their perspectives, not in the perspectives of others.
    Is it simply media pressure (ads, articles, magazines) making them think they're somehow imperfect, or inferior?

    That too I think. It seems that when some people see someone with a slim body etc and it seems that they have it all, people want to be like them.

    Maybe a lot of girls put any flaws down to their weight? Like "He doesn't like me because I'm not skinny" or "I can't do this because I'm not skinny" or "I can't wear this on the beach because of my body".
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Girls who hate their bodies when there's nothing wrong with them. Why?
    Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
    So, what is it with your girls and your bodies? Personally I don't see what 99% of girls complain about. :confused:

    Maybe because we see the kind of girls that our blokes fancy and look at on tv, in magazines etc and we know that our bodies do not look like that in any way at all.

    Or maybe it's because blokes are always making comments about girls size, figure, weight, etc when they have clothes on let alone when they're nekkid :rolleyes:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ...Always the guys fault eh? ;p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Capacity
    ...Always the guys fault eh? ;p

    If it's blokes you're trying to impress with your nekkidness then yes :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Capacity
    ...Always the guys fault eh? ;p

    Sure is.

    I spent half my time worrying about my weight, and parts of my body. Thing is, unless I go under the knife, there's not a lot I can do.

    I always feel really stupid when I'm there moaning about my weight and I see a great big hippo. Puts things into perspective. But I'm sure there's things lads worry about too.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ;D

    Well look at it like this, if you're trying to impress the bloke then its your problem/responsibility. It's not the blokes fault you're trying to impress him. The way most girls talk on here I'm supprised noone has used the infamous "If he's so bothered about your weight, he's just shallow and not worth bothering with". Am I wrong? Not meant to sound harsh if it does ;p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Capacity
    Well look at it like this, if you're trying to impress the bloke then its your problem/responsibility. It's not the blokes fault you're trying to impress him. The way most girls talk on here I'm supprised noone has used the infamous "If he's so bothered about your weight, he's just shallow and not worth bothering with". Am I wrong? Not meant to sound harsh if it does ;p

    Ok not necessarily impress, but if you're with a guy who say likes Jordan and you have small boobs then you're going to get paranoid. Same as if he liked Kylie's arse and you had a JLO arse, again you'd get paranoid. And I wasn't talking about blokes who were only interested in your body, they could be interested in everything about you but you'd still want them to think you looked good nekkid!

    Anyway, my initial comment about blokes slagging off girls about their weight was actually aimed at Wobble, who in a recent thread told me I'm too skinny and need to put on weight. If that's the kind of comments us girls get from blokes online who have never even seen a full length photo of us, no wonder we get paranoid what guys irl think of our bodies :rolleyes:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Faith
    Ok not necessarily impress, but if you're with a guy who say likes Jordan and you have small boobs then you're going to get paranoid. Same as if he liked Kylie's arse and you had a JLO arse, again you'd get paranoid. And I wasn't talking about blokes who were only interested in your body, they could be interested in everything about you but you'd still want them to think you looked good nekkid!

    Anyway, my initial comment about blokes slagging off girls about their weight was actually aimed at Wobble, who in a recent thread told me I'm too skinny and need to put on weight. If that's the kind of comments us girls get from blokes online who have never even seen a full length photo of us, no wonder we get paranoid what guys irl think of our bodies :rolleyes:

    I see what you mean, but the door swings both ways. [some] Girls are quick to say things like 'Ooh. Johnny Depp is so fit' or 'Ooh, look at Brad Pitt on that poster', and they are quick to assume that guys aren't bothered. Actually they probably aren't, but if they were how would they try and change themselves? Exercise their cheek muscles to try and re-shape their face?

    When you compare losing weight to altering the shape of your face, which one seems more realistically achievable? Maybe the reason guys aren't so bothered is because they know that what many women want isn't achievable. On the other hand what women THINK guys want is achievable, only difficult. The blaming of guys comes from not being able to achieve through difficulty and the paranoia comes from knowing that it's achievable.

    Just a suggestion. Dont get flaming meh ;p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Girls who hate their bodies when there's nothing wrong with them. Why?
    Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
    In it Grunge Girl says she hates her body, even though it's slim, and I assume no real problems.
    Why do so many girls feel this way about themselves?

    There is nothing wrong with my body or the way I look, it's just I am self consious about it because I am a girl and that's what most girls my age do! It is true that I do look at famous people and say "why can't I have bigger boobs?" or "why is my bum so small?" but really when I think about it there's nothing much wrong with me. :rolleyes: Typical girl.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sure it depends on the girls though. Some might think that all these beautiful girls in magazines make them hate their bodies. But that's not what bothers me, it's what the blokes think that makes me feel self-concious. It's not like I'm obsessed with hating my body like some girls do, like lucifer devil said there's not much you can really do about it and as grunge girl just said when I really think about it it's not that bad anyway. And besides, I have a guy right now who likes my body so I'm not bothered at the mo ;):p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Puberty doesn't help either because when you go through it, its normal to be self consiouse about your body.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What girls think can make guys self conscious too. I suppose it's just one of those things I'll never understand.
    I am self consious about it because I am a girl and that's what most girls my age do!

    Things like that have just become acceptable, as if she thinks it's fine for her to be paranoid because everyone else is. Things like that put through the message that they're not seriously bothered, but are just making a show out of it.

    Don't think I'm having a go.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i suppose some girls are scared that guys wont find them attractive and will never have kids or get a shag, i just dont like certain parts of me and compare myself to others
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm a perfectionist.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Char_Baby
    i suppose some girls are scared that guys wont find them attractive and will never have kids or get a shag, i just dont like certain parts of me and compare myself to others

    Let's say what needs to be said for the sake of everybody:

    Girls who starve themselves are:

    A) Fucked up in the head
    B) Unhealthy, and therefore not sexy
    C) If they have kids, the kids will be very, very, small.
    D) Physically unfit
    E) Have a low sex drive
    F) Are starving themselves
    G) Wasting their time, why don't they just be themselves?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rachie004
    and have a mental health problem that needs help, not insensitive comments

    Oh shit, I didn't mean it like that!; I was blaming society as much as anything else, I'm definitely not insensitive. I'm sorry if I caused offence, ok? I didn't mean it at all
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know you didnt mean to be insensitive, it is because of society... celebrity maqazimes that glorify being skinny and rarely depict real girls are to blame. poor old michelle mcmananas (the pop idol girl) has got a chance of a real career, coz people wont take her seriously, why?... because she isnt a size 8!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know you didnt mean to be insensitive, it is because of society... celebrity maqazimes that glorify being skinny and rarely depict real girls are to blame. poor old michelle mcmananas (the pop idol girl) has got a chance of a real career, coz people wont take her seriously, why?... because she isnt a size 8!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Girls who hate their bodies when there's nothing wrong with them. Why?
    Originally posted by Faith
    Maybe because we see the kind of girls that our blokes fancy and look at on tv, in magazines etc and we know that our bodies do not look like that in any way at all.

    Or maybe it's because blokes are always making comments about girls size, figure, weight, etc when they have clothes on let alone when they're nekkid :rolleyes:

    Utter bollocks. Complete and utter bollocks.

    If it were true, a bloke saying how hot your were would be enough- but it isn't, so it's not.

    Women are always judging themselves against other women, and they are out to impress other women. Simple as- it's not blokes that are the problem, it's bitchy women.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Re: Girls who hate their bodies when there's nothing wrong with them. Why?
    Originally posted by Kermit
    Utter bollocks. Complete and utter bollocks.

    If it were true, a bloke saying how hot your were would be enough- but it isn't, so it's not.

    Women are always judging themselves against other women, and they are out to impress other women. Simple as- it's not blokes that are the problem, it's bitchy women.


    I kinda agree with both of you there...
    Women DO compare themselves against other women, because we are never happy with what we got, we always want bigger boobs, or smaller boobs, face it, there is never a balance we are NEVER happy with the way we look, there is no perfect size in the eyes of a woman

    and usually men, especially when in a relationship are being honest when they say how much they love our bodies, its just about how you carry it, and how you play with the hand you are dealt ie, you accept that you are born as you were and that is how god (or whoever is up there) wants to to be
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just think its natural for everyone to have some kind of hang up about their body. whether or not there is a reason for it.

    it could be a mental problem, it could be how the individual interprets a passing comment, they could be being bullied, etc. the list just goes on and on.

    for me personally, I have real issues with my body, mainly because i used to be very thin and have recently gained weight and my parents are very quick to tell me (very seriously) 'you're looking a bit too fat lately Naz...time to exercise more!'.
    That kind of comment always gets to me, no matter how many other positive comments i get, such as 'you look much better now, you were way too skinny before'. the funny thing is i WAS severely underweight before and only now am I the correct weight for my height. that doesn stop exercising as much as i can though. because I feel overweight. Writing it all down, i feel incredibly stupid, but nothing seems to change my mindset.

    i also have this weird fixation with my legs cos i've had tons of operations on them and so they're covered in scars. really noticeable ones. the left leg is also smaller than my right one and its all very embarrassing. so i go through SOOO much trying to find stuff to make them better. and its crazy cos I don't even show my legs anyway. but wenever i get close to a guy i get scared he'll be disgusted by my body and the scars. mainly because they disgust me.

    so i guess what i'm trying to say is that before any views from the media or comments from anybody can get to you and affect the way you see your body, YOU have to allow that to happen in the first place. because it doesn't matter if 20 people tell me i;m pretty, if one person tells me i'm ugly, that is what i will focus on because that is what i feel is the truth. if you have confidence in yourself, the opinion of other people and media doesn't make a bit of difference. unless it repeatedly drummed into you.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Faith
    Anyway, my initial comment about blokes slagging off girls about their weight was actually aimed at Wobble, who in a recent thread told me I'm too skinny and need to put on weight.
    Yeah, but you are veeeeeeeery thin. That pic of your waist you put up a while back shows that, and it's not as if I'm the only one to comment on that - you've said that people are always saying how thin you are.
    You complain about people judging you on partial photos. How about a full length photo then? :)
    Anyway, in time, as you get older, the middle age spread will catch up with you. :D

    Mr_Wobble ;)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by maria_lucia_198
    i know you didnt mean to be insensitive, it is because of society... celebrity maqazimes that glorify being skinny and rarely depict real girls are to blame. poor old michelle mcmananas (the pop idol girl) has got a chance of a real career, coz people wont take her seriously, why?... because she isnt a size 8!
    You see, this is part of the problem. On the one hand you know there's presure from the media, but on the other you bitch like everybody else about an ideal size 8. Why 8? That's tiny! I'm not knocking you, but the whole cultural thing about size and weight that makes people believe that, and whinge like that.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Naz
    i also have this weird fixation with my legs cos i've had tons of operations on them and so they're covered in scars. really noticeable ones. the left leg is also smaller than my right one and its all very embarrassing. so i go through SOOO much trying to find stuff to make them better. and its crazy cos I don't even show my legs anyway. but wenever i get close to a guy i get scared he'll be disgusted by my body and the scars. mainly because they disgust me.

    so i guess what i'm trying to say is that before any views from the media or comments from anybody can get to you and affect the way you see your body, YOU have to allow that to happen in the first place. because it doesn't matter if 20 people tell me i;m pretty, if one person tells me i'm ugly, that is what i will focus on because that is what i feel is the truth. if you have confidence in yourself, the opinion of other people and media doesn't make a bit of difference. unless it repeatedly drummed into you.
    Yeah, some good, valid, points there. The thing about your legs, as you say, is that you don't show them, yet it's not much of a problem for most blokes, unless a nice pair of legs is one of their major turn ons. They'll be accepted as part of you. Funny you should make that point about not showing them. Reminds me of a girl who only wears jeans, never wears skirts or dresses. She thinks her bum and legs are fat, despite them being slender and having a neat bum with a lovely curve on her hips. She was complaining about always having to shave her legs, despite the fact she never shows them! As far as I know she doesn't even have a boyfriend, yet she shaves them almost daily, and worries about it if she doesn't shave them (at least that's the way it sounded in the conversation).

    Good point about the one bad comment sticking in your mind. That's true about so many things in life. If you just realise that everybody has the same worries, and then realise that it doesn't matter, then you can rise above it, and use that knowledge to your advantage - ie stop being so paranoid about it, and let others worry about their self image while being confident about yourself. It takes time though, and it can be a fragile balance at times. It doesn't take much (only that one comment) to put you back down for a while. But if you know that happens, then you should be able to cope with it, rise above it, etc.

    It's a cultural thing that drums it into you. It's not just the media, but your friends, your relatives, your workmates, your boyfriend/girlfriend, who obsess about it all the time, and reinforce the idea of perfection (or what is and isn't perfection) that repeatedly drums and drives those fears home. Again, if you realise this is happening, you can start to get over it, and become confident in yourself. It takes time though.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Re: Girls who hate their bodies when there's nothing wrong with them. Why?
    Originally posted by Kermit

    Women are always judging themselves against other women, and they are out to impress other women. Simple as- it's not blokes that are the problem, it's bitchy women.
    That is sooo true. And when everybody complains about the "media", they're often referring to magazines made by, and edited by, women, for women. It's a vicious, self obsessive, self destructive, paranoia instilling, circle. So, I suppose women only have themselves to blame. At least any woman who's ever read those magazines. :)
    Of course, cliched, pin up and page 3 model idea of beauty also drives this. But you've got a point about women being soooo bitchy about each other. You hear it all the time, critisizing other women about their hair, their clothes, their make up, etc.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok girls honesty time here.

    What happens is you meet a guy, you compare yourself with his ex. His ex might be slimmer than you, have bigger boobs than you and all you thinkabout is his ex. You start to wonder why did he choose you because your not as good looking as his ex and you put yourself down.

    It wouldnt matter if you were Miss World you would still find fault with yourself and thats speaking as a married woman, I still to this day compare myself to his ex.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
    Anyway, in time, as you get older, the middle age spread will catch up with you. :D

    Mr_Wobble ;)

    It hasnt caught me yet :p

    but i do get self concious and it is a thing which I have suffered from for a long time. We all are terrible at comparing ourselves with other people :(
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its cos we cant all look like halle berry :'(
    gooodddddd she was hot in james bond lol... i was like :eek: i wanna look like that! flat tummy, shapely thighs, nice hips, a killer of a tan, nicely sized breasts....
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yesterday I went shopping for a dress for my Leavers Ball in the summer and I tried one on and the size 8 was too small so I had to have a size 6!! But even then my boobs aint big enough to fill the dress so my mum is gonna make me 1! I am now starting to think that my body is alright, no one thinks I am fat, it's just me.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Interesting reversal on the situation.

    My bird asked me why I don't walk around with no shirt more often in summer.

    "Well, all I see when I switch on a TV is blokes with big pecs and 6 packs. Same in magazines. I just don't feel comfortable walking around with no shirt on when I don't look like that"

    "but you're a guy!"

    "yeah? you think it doesn't work both ways?"

    "uhm..err? uh"

    She was floored.

    So yeah, it's not just chicks.
Sign In or Register to comment.