( mention of sexual assault ). life is so hard atm

briannat

Hey there @eylah

I'm sorry to hear that the helplines you reached out to were useless. I can say from experience it's frustrating to reach out during a time where you already feel vulnerable to only feel either worse or neutral afterwards. Would you feel comfortable in sharing why you felt as though the helplines you reached out to were useless?

Also here's a website where you can type in your own information and find things local to you. If you feel up to it, it might be helpful to have a look around and see if there's anything that might sound useful to you

https://hubofhope.co.uk/

Reaching out for support repeatedly takes a lot of energy and strength, you're doing a solid job

eylah

they didnt listen to me idk why but after I told them abt what happened they just was like ok well we gotta end chat now. it wasnt a friendly conversation and idk but theyve always seemed moody and like they couldnt be bothered to talk to me and especially bc of how traumatic it is ppl keep recommending that advice but its just idk yeah.

Katie

I'm sorry that was your experience @eylah - it sounds really deflating to have the courage to reach out to a helpline and open up but to then be left with no help. Have you tried any other helpline?

You would think that people who work on a helpline, especially that one, would understand that people are reaching out because they've experienced something traumatic. It sounds really unpleasant that the person on the other end wasn't friendly and seemed quite moody with you. Your feelings here are completely valid and I can understand why you found it useless. I just really wish this wasn't the case for you

I also wanted to check if you'd heard back from that woman about giving evidence? I know you've unfortunately been waiting a while and you were feeling a bit uncertain about what to do. It sounds like there's so much on your mind at the minute Eylah and it's a lot for one person to hold in their head. How are you feeling today about it? Giving evidence sounds like a really tricky decision to make that comes with all kinds of emotions. Only you can make that choice

eylah

Katie wrote: »

I'm sorry that was your experience @eylah - it sounds really deflating to have the courage to reach out to a helpline and open up but to then be left with no help. Have you tried any other helpline?

You would think that people who work on a helpline, especially that one, would understand that people are reaching out because they've experienced something traumatic. It sounds really unpleasant that the person on the other end wasn't friendly and seemed quite moody with you. Your feelings here are completely valid and I can understand why you found it useless. I just really wish this wasn't the case for you

I also wanted to check if you'd heard back from that woman about giving evidence? I know you've unfortunately been waiting a while and you were feeling a bit uncertain about what to do. It sounds like there's so much on your mind at the minute Eylah and it's a lot for one person to hold in their head. How are you feeling today about it? Giving evidence sounds like a really tricky decision to make that comes with all kinds of emotions. Only you can make that choice

thankyou i never used any other helpline bc i haven’t found any that are in the uk. no i havent heard from her but tbh i know its my choice whether to go ahead with the long investigation but idk if i can or not bc im not strong enough. Im not feeling gd i relapsed with sh im just a mess i appreciate you replying to me but im sry for not responding sooner ❤️

Orchid059

I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time at the moment. You are being so brave. It's completely up to you whether you want to investigate further into the investigation as you know yourself better than anyone else. We are here with you though this if you do decide to. You deserve justice and not to be forgotten about. It's not okay what happened to you and should not be brushed aside like it has.

In terms of your sh are you managing to care for yourself afterwards? I.e applying antiseptic wipes or plasters to the area? Are you able to try and do something nice for yourself to distract yourself such as put on a film or have a nice bath?

I'll also attach some useful links to some apps that help with sh and ways of managing urges and your emotions

https://www.nclwaitingroom.nhs.uk/distract
Or https://calmharm.stem4.org.uk/

eylah

ive already attended hospital to get treatment for my sh so i have been given things to apply and dress my sh with. i just feel like they say ( the police) that they want to help ppl who have been r*ped etc but actually dont well in my case they havent. its just a shitty feeling bc they keep saying for ppl to come forward when things happen but then just brush it under the carpet like its normal. i just feel disgusted and i hate this world. thsnkyou ❤️

Laura_tigger82

It is okay to recognise they can be helpful but, unfortunately, have not been helpful in your case @eylah. What would have helped looked like to you? We are really proud of you for being so brave in attending to hospital to get treatment for your sh! We really care about you and you deserve to be taken care of by the hospital staff.

You have shown so much courage in keeping sharing with us about how you are really feeling and what you are experiencing, despite not feeling supported or heard in other spaces. Is there anything which may help at the moment?

eylah

its not rly help tbh its them taking me seriously bc its just so wrong of them . like it took me so much strength to tell them abt the guy who assaulted me but they have just fobbed me of.

amy02

Gosh @eylah you are so so brave for sharing your experiences with us and for reporting it. You definitely deserve to be heard and taken seriously - I'm so sorry to hear that they haven't been helpful for you We are here to listen and support you

eylah

thankyou so much