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im at breaking point.

124

Comments

  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,643 Extreme Poster
    sending you a big hug @eylah

    (and if you're still feeling the effects of the panic attack) - try take a moment for yourself, just focusing on deep breaths and trying to ground yourself into your surroundings and where you are, maybe even try and focus on the things around you.

    hope you're okay and remember we are all here for you and support you - you're absolutely not alone <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    edited September 5
    sinead276 wrote: »
    sending you a big hug @eylah

    (and if you're still feeling the effects of the panic attack) - try take a moment for yourself, just focusing on deep breaths and trying to ground yourself into your surroundings and where you are, maybe even try and focus on the things around you.

    hope you're okay and remember we are all here for you and support you - you're absolutely not alone <3

    thankyou im doing breathing exercises bc my chest hurts and im dizzy :/.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    having another panic attack bc dad has set me off again. :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    sat here sobbing bc i feel a failure. :’)
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 1,502 Extreme Poster
    you're not a failure, don't worry about that. if you ever need support come to us and we'll listen to your vents.
  • ebyrne556ebyrne556 Moderator Posts: 1,147 Wise Owl
    Hey @eylah just checking in on you this morning to see how u r? Your doing so well and we are here for u.Youbring so much to this community <3
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  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,643 Extreme Poster
    hope you're feeling a bit better this morning @eylah - and like the others have said you are not a failure at all. we're so proud of you and the strength you have with everything going on, even if you may not see it yourself.

    we're here for you
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    hi thankyou all for replying to me it means a lot im not gd today im rly struggling bc of everything dad is rly getting to me causing me to have panic attacks 😭.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    just want peace bc i cant deal with him.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    struggling just want peace.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    dad just called me a f*cking b*tch bc i am talking abt mum bc i rly miss her :(.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 1,502 Extreme Poster
    jesus christ when will your dad stop berating you? i really sympathise with your situation here.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    idk @toffuna101 idk if its bc im talking abt mum so hes angry at me bc he hates my mum. :(
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    edited September 6
    need to escape this so badly its to much 😭😭 - safe.
    Post edited by eylah on
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    i need to go shop but im to scared. :/.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    im in tears bc im in pain and have to walk there. :/ dad thinks its ok to laugh bc hes not helping me
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,805 The Mix Elder
    edited September 7
    eylah wrote: »
    Amy22 wrote: »
    Also I hope the tests went well and your doing ok I bet that was frightening for you to hear especially if you have been having pelvic pain. The main thing is that the doctors will try their absaloute best to figure out what's going on and will help you all the way <3. I can imagine having tests must be super challenging and tough for you right now.

    i’m just scared bc im to young to have cancer so its terrifying bc i have sm stress atm i rly do not need this on my back bc im so exhausted mentally end physically. thankyou amy. <3

    Its totally understandable as to how your feeling because having those tests especially for cancer can be very scary especially for someone who is quite young as well. It sounds like you have got a lot on your plate right now with everything and that must be super hard right now. <3
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    its horrible bc my other blood tests come back abnormal so will see my dr next week but im just so tired. :(
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    edited September 7
    i managed to go but i fell over bc my foot slipped and i hurt my knee. i feel so stupid :/ told dad bc i am hurting and he said how many more times am i going to make myself look stupid but he then said im ridiculous and wanting attention but im not bc i cant help falling over. i hate this i hate it.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    i hate myself no wonder dad hates my guts. :/ i want to cry so hard rn.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    im not worth anything dad says he hopes never to see me again even though i live here. :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 1,502 Extreme Poster
    you are worth a lot @eylah dont tell yourself that. your dad is really a dickhead and is ruining your self esteem.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    just got home from hospital. that was so traumatic :(
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    you are worth a lot @eylah dont tell yourself that. your dad is really a dickhead and is ruining your self esteem.

    thankyou.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 1,502 Extreme Poster
    no problem
  • GemmaGemma Community Manager Posts: 1,138 Wise Owl
    eylah wrote: »
    just got home from hospital. that was so traumatic :(

    How are you doing @eylah? We're here for you if you want to share more about what happened in hospital. <3

    You don't deserve to be suffering this much grief from your dad. It's really unfair and you deserve to be loved and cared for when you're going through so much with your mum, your ex, managing your grief for your friend, worries around your health, and managing your mental health too. We're glad to hear you're feeling safe - remember that if you are ever worried about your safety, you can always reach out to these services below who are around for chat:
    Crisis Messenger (24/7) | text THEMIX to 85258
    Samartians (24/7) | call 116 123 | email jo@samaritans.org
    Papyrus (2pm-midnight) | call 0800 068 41 41 | text 07786 209 697 | email pat@payrus-uk.org
    Supportline (hours vary) | call 01708 765 200
    Childline | call 0800 11 11

    Sending lots of hugs <3
    ♡♡♡
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    security were awful he was so forceful getting me back in hospital i feel awful bc of it.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    i was in crisis and was sobbing he made me feel shit bc if my past experience. :/ im fine now.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,682 The Mix Elder
    im sat here sobbing bc im in pain and its rly upset me.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
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