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number : 6
Why isn’t it higher: I really don’t want to go into school anymore. I’ve been catching up on work which is good but I don’t really feel like I’m getting anywhere. A teacher said something yesterday he wasn’t being mean and he was right but it made feel like absolutely awful and it’s really zapped my motivation. I just feel like I’ll never be good enough. It’s my day off today I’m not ready for tomorrow. I’ve started doing an old habit more again, I used to flap my hands when I was younger if I was happy ,stressed or feeling anything strongly to be honest. I’ve started doing it at school again it makes me feel so silly. I know it’s nothing to be ashamed of but I can’t shake the embarrassment.
Why isn’t it lower: I got to sleep in today. I’ll be ok. I’ve got some amazing people around me.
Take care everyone happy Wednesday!
I'll give myself 7 now
Why isn't lower: I'm glad that I can improve myself better now like focusing my homework by focus app and talking to myself positively this week, I'm proud that I can change for better myself.
Why isn't higher: I realized that I played my phone and video games too much, sometimes I noticed that I keep doing this because I think to myself that I deserve it. I couldn't do anything else because everything in reality right now is very boring most of the time. Eat, games, homework, sleep, repeat. Also bummed up because I can't visit to my grandparent's house for chinese new year by plane again.
What can I do?: Not sure about this, I think I could sleeping more and have more positive thinking whatever happens to me. Playing tetris can relieve my stress out for some reason.
I'm really feeling down at the moment
Not the worst, not the best. Feeling better than not so I think a 7 is achievable.
Why am I not higher - my badly patch keeps getting worse, it's shit because it's my own fault. I'm super tired because I had my meds at a different time of day. I'm trying to increase my dosage (as instructed by Dr) and I wanted to nap. I had a 2 hour seminar which tbh I didn't pay muchhhh attention to as it was just the introduction. 2 hour seminars are draining as heck. I enjoyed my 1 hour seminar though. Had to interrupt my seminar to deal with my rats who decided to FIGHT and then play dead. Nice of them
Why am I not lower - I mean, I'm able to increase my meds to help me further which is amazing tbh. I engaged in my first seminar and I'm feeling like I want to do really well this year. Even though I'm tired, I was able to not nap today which is a change when my meds knock me out. Looks like we (fingers crossed) have a flat lined up. Going to view it on Saturday but it belongs to my uncle and he wasn't planning to rent it out. Now that we're looking to rent he seems happy enough to rent to us. He's gonna do all the checks to make sure everything's up to scratch.
What can I do - I'm gonna do some more uni work because I'm in the mood to do work. Maybe watch some stuff and have a good rest.
Stuck in hospital, would of been my friends 21st yesterday, and seeing everyone get discharged when you're still here is hard, I want to go home.
My mind is going 100mph, I haven't showered is days as I can't bare to see my body, I can't see my body for what it is, whenever I look down I just see a walking talking crime scene. The flashbacks come thick and fast, even when I sleep there is no escape as the nightmares creep in.
I just can't seem to catch a break.
The only reason it isn't a 0 or 1... Realistically I know there are some positives, I just cant see them right now, and I'm nt that person that's pts a low score for the hell of it, I just try to be honest which is more than some.
Why isn't it higher?
Even though I've had a pretty alright day, I still feel some what deflated and I've come home and just flopped myself down onto my bed and had a cry. I'm just struggling with this heavy feeling of deflatedness and high overwhelming levels of emotions..
Why isnt it lower?
Because I had an alright day, had a good catch up with friends, got stuff done that I needed to do and just tried to push forward. I'm hoping for an even better day tomorrow!
Why isn't it higher - just a lot on my mind recently, nothing super super major but just enough yaknow? I've not been able to see any immediate family for months now. I just want to see my grandparents. The thought of having to cancel our holiday and spend my 21st in lockdown is shitty. I've found being super sociable quite overwhelming recently.
Why isn't it lower - I've still got my immediate family, we're hopefully moving withing the next few weeks. My funding application was accepted. I'm reading a book for uni. So I don't feel super low.
What can I do - I'm not commenting too much on here, I've not been on my phone much. We spent most of the day cleaning out the rats. Always love clean out day, it makes them so happy
Why isnt it higher: I’m just struggling honestly. But don’t have the words to talk about it or really know why. I just hate being sad but I also couldn’t care less what happens to me so don’t really have motivation to do anything about it. My days are so long and exhausting, I go from sleeping too much to hardly at all, same with eating, same with pretty much everything else. I dunno. It’s like I’m running out of energy but not in an “I’m really tired I need to go to bed” sort of way.
Why isn’t it lower: I’m here and I’m getting through those days, I try to speak about things to people and I’m just off the phone to my partner who I know cares a lot.
What I could do: I need to try not to stay up too late although I don’t know how I’m going to avoid that
why isn’t it higher ? I’m very anxious right now we’ve had an outbreak in the home and have already lost 2 residents in less than a week one more probably won’t survive there not on oxygen staff are testing positive too , we’re running low on suitable PPE , we don’t know when we can get more and each shift is exhausting me.
why isn’t it lower - well we’re being tested every time we come on shift now (lateral flow tests ) and I’ve been lucky enough not to test positive yet
what could I do : there’s nothing I can do right now
Why not higher - just feel a bit iffy tbh it's hard to describe. There's like a constant sadness looming inside me.
Why not lower - I watched some of my lectures and have been preparing work early before my seminar instead of the day before. Got my first solo shift today with cl and we hear back about the flat today if we get it or not. Fingers crossed all goes well.
What can I do - get up and ready, have some breakfast and have a good shift today. Come back and do a bit of relaxing and some work for uni, maybe read some more of my book for uni even though it's *weirddddd*
Ps I'm super glad people have and are finding this thread useful
Why isn’t it higher: I feel like this ok ish feeling won’t last very long, it never does lol. It’s like I’m just feeling a bit less fed up and sad than normal.
Why isn’t it lower: as I said, just a bit better than what I would consider normal nowadays. I’ve not had a bad day at all, very lazy, but ok. Had a great time in GC.
What I could do: got some good music on now and just gonna keep myself distracted kinda.
Why not higher: I'm just not doing okay. Loads of things to do and just don't have the effort to do any of them. Been feeling really low recently and can't get out of it. So many things in life just seem to be piling up and stressing me out. Online learning for A levels and not knowing what's happening with that. My friends struggling with various things themselves. Just a general feeling of loneliness and stuff.
Why not lower: I've got an amazing boyfriend who I can talk to and who can distract me. Online learning isn't so bad but just not the same as in a classroom and it means I actually achieve and do things in a day.
What I could do: Do something. Probably should do something creative and fun like continuing on designing my go kart.
I'm so so happy that it's helped you to keep track of your emotions and finding patterns, sometimes it can seem overwhelming to do that so having a little prompt is sometimes all you need
Why isn't it higher? We lost one of my rats last night. He was a wee disabled boy and we knew his time was coming. He was such an angel, it's hard to deal with the losses of my babies 💔 we're still waiting to hear back from the bank about the mortgage so I guess we'll see what happens.
Why isn't it lower? The doctors seem to be taking me seriously, it's literally at the stage that I can't wait for my blood test on Wednesday. They're hoping to rule all other conditions out and then do further testing. Maybe 2021 is the year a diagnosis comes my way. It's about time! I've still got 17 rats and they're very much loved. I've been taking my blood pressure daily (multiple times) and the results are consistent with the diagnosis criteria for the condition. It might sound weird being excited about a diagnosis but when you go through years of not knowing, finally coming to the bottom of it is amazing. Getting meds to control it, sounds amazing. Because I won't get better without a diagnosis. AND I got my first A in uni for astronomy semester 1 🎉
What can I do - we're going to bury my baby boy with his brother. We're going to go and buy some flowers for their grave pot. I'm going to do some uni work because I'm actually feeling motivated.
Why not higher - My parents are still ignoring me 🙄 and accidentally said goodnight to the post man instead of goodbye and now I keep cringing 😫
Why not lower? Went for a run this morning and got lotsa school work done. Feeling really motivated and more like myself 😁
What can I do - Gonna finish my school work then go for a walk and then probs play some games & take it easy
But I bet that made the postman’s day, and don’t worry we’ve all been there. I accidentally called a teacher Nan the other day
Be kind to yourself Liam, taking it easy seems like a good plan. We’re here if you ever need anything
Thank you, same goes to you 💚
Why isn't is higher? I've had a tough week physically. Been feeling really unwell and missing work and sleeping a lot. This drags me down mentally as I just feel fucking useless. Got lots of things going on around me that I'm not yet ready to talk about so it's difficult. I think this week has taught me who's really there for me and who my real friends are.. even if it means breaking social distancing for a cuddle!
Why isn't it lower?
Because I don't want to put myself down because of being physically unwell, I'm struggling mentally yes, but mostly it's down to feeling unwell
What can I do? Tonight I'm going to have a hot shower, extra bit of care in skin care and an early night
Why not higher - I'm not really sure tbh just feels like a lot is weighing down on me but it's hard to identify what exactly is weighing down.
Why not lower - again I'm not too sure. It's hard to describe. We've been painting the new flat which we will hopefully get the go ahead for soon which has been a nice distraction.
What can I do to feel better - I've been writing some stories and trying to do some uni work.
Why isn’t it higher: I guess it’s just the same as ever, and especially today I just feel really sad. And I’m having a few moments where I’m really hating my life choices and myself in general.
Why isn’t it lower: it’s not been the worst day in the world, I didn’t do much I guess I’m still struggling a lot with motivation and I hate the fact I can’t seem to find much enjoyment in most things. But on the plus side I’m sleeping a lot better on these new meds (you may wonder why I’m still up at 1.12am but I was late taking my meds this is the latest I’ve been up for a while lol) and I’m way less tired overall because of that.
What I could do: I am going to bed, I promise
Why not higher - I feel like 7 is a pretty high score for me tbh. There's always that kinda emptiness kinda pushing down on my mood. It's a bit of a struggle but I'm doing alright I think. Good time to also mention that my rat and hamster died in the same week (and the 2nd and 3rd to die this year so far).
Why not lower - I had a good expression of emotions last night which actually was a major breakthrough. I still feel absolutely sickened by what I saw, especially as she was only about 4 months old. My files from all over have been stressing me out but I'm starting to process this.
What can I do? Gonna go and get ready for bed and listen to an audiobook and sleep maybe.
Take care of yourself, get some rest and we’re here if you ever need a chat or anything
Why isn’t it higher: today has been really weird. I honestly thought I was feeling better earlier, I had a coffee with my neighbour (in my bubble) and I actually enjoyed the company. But as the day’s gone on it’s got a lot harder, idk why but I’m just feeling low.
TW: self harm thoughts
Why isn’t it lower: well I had that coffee with my neighbour which was really lovely and he always has the best stories. He tells me about his time at school a lot and about the war. I’m not normally big on history but hearing it from someone who lived it is amazing. I guess the fact that I have periods where I feel better is a good sign - a few weeks ago I would not have been saying that.
What I could do: I’m might watch netflix for a bit because the internet’s been reasonably kind to me today. I need to take my meds and get ready for bed too, I think I just need to keep distracted and calm if I can try to do that somehow it’ll be good.
Why isn't it higher - it just seems to be one thing after another. Uni is an effort, this whole process with my lawyer, advocate and social work is very stressful. I'm going through extensive heart testing because of blackouts. Having lots of blood taken and will probably be referred to a cardiologist again. My one place of feeling valued has been taken away from me today. I don't feel able to open up on here anymore so idk why I'm doing it now. I just feel so shit and don't have anywhere else to go. My pets are dropping like flies - mostly because they're golden oldies and rescues.
Why isn't is lower - my friends and bf are really keeping me boosted rn. I've got my pets that are still going strong. Idk I'm still here which I guess is good.
What can I do - just wait for everything to resolve itself and hope for the best I guess. Can't change the outcome so just gotta hang in there.
Why isn't it higher - Got school on Monday
Why isn't is lower - So grateful for my friends and family. They always make me smile
What can I do - Just gonna take it easy
Why isn't it higher? Don't care.
Why isn't it lower? Don't care.
What can I do? Don't care.
Why isn’t it higher: I’m tired
Why isn’t it lower: I’ve felt a lot better generally in the past few weeks, have a couple of difficult days but I’ve definitely noticed a change. So gotta be positive about that!
What can I do: I’m watching random TV in bed trying to sleep early because I haven’t had any caffeine tonight