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HELPP😭😭

13

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  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you Errin <3 and I will do bless him he’s so scared from the fireworks. Anyway hope you get some rest tonight
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,051 Supreme Poster
    Sounds like you've had a tough day. I'm always here if you ever wanna chat <3 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Feeling so suicidal. My family hate me. I don’t know why I’m alive anymore 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,051 Supreme Poster
    Sending big hugs <3 what makes you think they hate you?
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    all they are Doing is shouting at me for being lazy and using house like hotel by just living here and not helping with the house 😭😭😭 always shout at me for it. I said I have been struggling to breath not that anyone cares. And she says I go to work I still come home and hover. I’m fucking fed up of everything. It’s best if I just didn’t exist. Wouldn’t cause this many arguments otherwise. Fucking done. My sisters are like the only people I am close to. Barely have friends and My parents don’t like me. Like wise. But even my sisters have been shouting at me and don’t care about how it makes me feel. I got angry and she called me psycho. I felt like crying. I just feel like crying still and ending it all. There’s not reason I should be alive anymore I swear :’(. Hate everything
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Feel like I’m waiting for a sign not to kill myself. I told teddy to lick me. And he my head I said if you don’t then it means I need to kill myself. He didn’t lick me
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 90 Budding Regular
    edited November 2020
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit

    Thank you Errin <3

     universal credit rang me to see how I was. They was like I deal with the people who Are vulnerable and have mental illness And you’re not alone with how you feel but I  have never heard anyone so desperate and upset (was crying) so I need to ring someone 111.  I said please do not do that. She finally Agreed she won’t do thatAfter I said o will ring gp tomorrow  but still needs to speak to a colleague. 
    Ugh can I stop crying now fml
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited November 2020
    TRIGGER WARNING

    i went out. I’m still out but went out with intention to kill myself. Got ready for it. Waited for it to be dark. Brought all the things I needed but just sat there and didn’t touch anything. Now I’m just walking back home. Like wtf I feel like a failure. So weak.  Crying my way home like a weak twat
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited November 2020
    Someone reply please:( imso sad but safe
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Living the Zen life đŸ§˜đŸŒâ€â™€ïž Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    Hey Shaunie, I'm here<3
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Thanks Eleanor 
    now idk what to say. Lol. But thanks for replying hope you’re ok
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Living the Zen life đŸ§˜đŸŒâ€â™€ïž Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    It's alright lol, I'm all good thank you!

    You're not weak at all by not doing it, it actually shows so much strength that you didn't! How are you feeling now?
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    I’m okY. Had some vodka. So feel weird but yeah 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Living the Zen life đŸ§˜đŸŒâ€â™€ïž Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    I'm glad you're feeling okay ❀
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    @Shaunie  are you home and safe? 

    I can’t imagine how tough life is feeling for you right now but we all really care about you here... and altho I know you’re saying your family shout at you a lot but they care about you too. Please reach out if you are in crisis, you don’t need to go through this alone. 

    Is it the doctors appointment which has been a big trigger for you? It sounds like he really didn’t understand what your appt meant to you - I hope the next one is better. When did you say it was? 

    Hope you’re ok, sending you love today. 
    Lucy 💜 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited November 2020
    Thank you. I am safe at home. 

    I don’t know when next appointment  would be :’( he just said he’s referring me as urgent and i don’t know who to call to ask how urgent is urgent. 

    All I kept thinking was I need a way that’s super quick and a way that i don’t feel much pain and die as soon as I do it. There is only one way i Can think of for that which I have never tried.:|

    even teddy is better off without me. He has knots in his fur:( Im so lonely. And I don’t see how I’m even benefiting for this world. The only people who seem to care are you guys but you wouldn’t actually care if I just didn’t come here anymore. Wouldn’t even notice Everyone is better than me and more interesting and less depressing and recently not been as supportive as used to be causeWhy would anyone want some loser supporting them just annoying and getting in the way of actual people supporting  them. Just don’t feel connected as much to anything anymore. To anyone or anything. Don’t feel like I’m apart of anyone’s life so no big deal If was to kil myself.  I just feel so shit. Just a worthless piece of shit
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • DurhamjaideDurhamjaide Posts: 1,225 Wise Owl
    @Shaunie I’m pleased you ok now 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    @Shaunie I would notice and care if you weren’t around here anymore. You are super supportive here to all of us, even when you are going through a rough time yourself. You’ve helped a lot of people here even if you don’t realise it... wish you could see that. 

    I don’t think I could say much to make you feel better but wish I could give you a hug. We will always be here for you. Sending love 💜
  • Past UserPast User Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) Posts: 0 Just got here
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Posts: 1,084 Wise Owl
    Hey @Shaunie

    It sounds like you are really struggling at the minute. We care about you a lot and we want you around. :heart:

    You are a very valued member of this community. 

    Sending you lots of hugs :heart:
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited November 2020
    I will never be okay till the day I’m dead but thanks all
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,051 Supreme Poster
    Hey Shaunie,

    Sounds like you’re having a really awful time of it right now. The fact that you didn’t do anything last night and instead kept yourself safe by going home shows incredible strength, it is not weak. The fact that you’re still here and you’re still fighting is strong. You’re struggling, really struggling, but you’re fighting through it and reaching out for support which is great.

    Please know that I would absolutely notice and care if you weren’t around here anymore, you are a big part of this community and it’s strange around here when you haven’t been on for a while. You are important to us and we care. I’m sure I speak for a lot of people when I say that.

    How are the thoughts today? Are they as bad as they were yesterday?
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Emma_Emma_ Community Manager Posts: 601 Incredible Poster
    Sending big hugs @Shaunie <3  You've got this! 
  • Past UserPast User Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) Posts: 0 Just got here
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  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Thanks all
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • DurhamjaideDurhamjaide Posts: 1,225 Wise Owl

    I like your profile picture 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Durhamjaide said:

    I like your profile picture 
    Thank you
    but it meant I won’t be on here for awhile in bad place to be here
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Past UserPast User Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) Posts: 0 Just got here
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 90 Budding Regular
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