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I've been thinking and i think with teenagers i think i get targeted because i'm white

Former MemberFormer Member Fast NewbiePosts: 128 The Mix Convert
in Health & Wellbeing
So this is just really annoyed every time i've been targeted been teens, i've only just realised this by looking through previous videos and the teens always seem to be brown skinned, earlier i had a incident with teens that were brown skinned, I overheard them say they were going to do something because white people always target them, I tried just saying not to mention things like that but then they threatend to throw my bike in the river/at my helmet, they kicked me i kicked their bike as i just couldn't hold it in anymore and then they kicked my bike and touched my helmet and now my 2 week old bike has a bucked rear wheel and broken rear reflector.(i personally i think they were aiming for me but with these incidents i always create a barrier with my bike so they couldn't get me.  bystanders kept asking if i was ok. either one of them told security as soon as that was mentioned the teens cycled off  or the cleaner saw and radiod them. i sort of explained what happend to security, one of them just talked and stayed till i went off a couple of bystanders also explained exactly what i said. I don't know if this is bullying which it seems like . or is is it illegal what the teens did and worth reporting it to police?.    It seems like they knew what they were doing was wrong otherwise why did they get scared off by the word security (Unless their known troublmakers as the security guy did say there were a lot of teens on bikes around earlier and have been most of the day)

The thing is s i don't know whether or not i should do something? and why do brown teens seem to hate whites? it's not the olden days anymore. everyone should be respected and treated how they want to be treated, it also doesn't help that they thought i was autistic when i started to react (i have a unknown dissbaility which can sometimes cause me to react to these thiings without me thinking but i'm not autistic)

I hate it when people say do things because of who you are



Is this bullying or is it something illegal or what's your opinion?

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited September 18
    Heyy,

    I don't know much about the law but that sounds like bullying as well as being illegal. sounds really tough situation to be in . Ive not really had experience of being bullied but I can only imagine it takes a lot of strength to get through that situation. You're doing well even if feels like in the moments you react. It would be hard not to react in any way. 

    Bullying in any form should be illegal in my opinion- idk if actually is though. But Damage to your property sounds illegal and sounds quite violent . And if you feel they target you because you're white that sounds like hate crime which yeah is a crime 

    Are you thinking or reporting it? Or just wondering?

    sending hugs <3. @Past User Were here for you and deserve to be treated a lot more kinder, so hope you're being kind to yourself and taking lots of care

    Post edited by TheMix on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Miniposter Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Hello!

    As @Shaunie said I agree with it sounding like bullying, and i'm sorry that you have to go through that as from personal experience I know how difficult and isolating it can be.  <3

    I also think that any bullying should be illegal, as maybe it would help people to stop and realise for a second how there actions/words could really affect someones life, not just in the moment but also in the long term.  <3

    Hugs and keep us updated,

    Butterfly x
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,103 Boards Champion
    Hey :)

    Race-based violence or bullying goes both ways. Damaging your property is illegal. Assaulting someone is illegal. You mentioned that there were bystanders, so there are witnesses. Hopefully, there will be CCTV somewhere that has caught them. So yes, it was wrong and illegal, and if you want to file a case, I wish you luck and hope that they are charged!x

    Much love <3
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Fast Newbie Posts: 128 The Mix Convert
    edited July 2019
    Thanks guys, I am wondering if I should report it or leave it and report it if it happens again. 

    Ps I don’t want to say anything awkard but sometimes due to the teenagers it puts me of my work which is volunteering  and talk nervously to them like in events or on the phone. If it sounds like a similar age i just feel it could be them trying to find out where I work. (Especially if it’s on phone.) but then at my volunteer like today which took a while for me to eventually wake up and go too. I Find it hard to hide it but I don’t want to get asked by the manager if anything’s up since he used to be a police officer and get reminded everytime I see a similar age teenagers.

    is this normal. I know your supposed to be confident but sometimes with teenagers I just can’t 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Heyy,

    its good to think about reporting it and what you do, I guess is up to you, it might be worth thinking taking time to properly think about how you'd feel If report it and how you'd feel if dont ect kinda like pros and cons

    its understandable you feel that way towards teens since it triggers those memories and thoughts. It sometimes helps to challenge your thoughts around it and try to rationalise it so you don't let bullies control other aspects of your life. I know that is obviously a lot harder than it's self. You sound like you're doing really well to keep to go to volunteering with those feelings. Does anything help?


    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fast Newbie Posts: 128 The Mix Convert
    Shaunie said:
    Heyy,

    its good to think about reporting it and what you do, I guess is up to you, it might be worth thinking taking time to properly think about how you'd feel If report it and how you'd feel if dont ect kinda like pros and cons

    its understandable you feel that way towards teens since it triggers those memories and thoughts. It sometimes helps to challenge your thoughts around it and try to rationalise it so you don't let bullies control other aspects of your life. I know that is obviously a lot harder than it's self. You sound like you're doing really well to keep to go to volunteering with those feelings. Does anything help?


    Thanks. I. volunteer at 2 different places one of these easier because of animals. The other one doesn’t really help I just eventually push myself to go. It takes a while though but the thing is I usually end up doing something stupid outside of work if I get reminded of those thoughts people 


  • Former MemberFormer Member Fast Newbie Posts: 128 The Mix Convert
    Also the thing is I get too many Incidents wotj ^ and others to point what also stops me from going to volunteering I have a weird feeling that they may find me at my work places and then put everyone at risk which I don’t want to happen because there children and animals around etc...
    😦
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Hey! 

    Its really good of you of be going to two volunteer jobs!do you think the second one that doesn't partially help - is it worth still going to?

    You said you end up doing something stupid outside of work I'd get reminded. That sounds really hard - has anything been able to stopped you or distract you? Maybe doing lots of self care stuff after work and doing things you enjoy could help

    i hear your fear about them finding your work place - I hope that would be unlikely 

    let Us know how work and everything else is going on:)
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fast Newbie Posts: 128 The Mix Convert
    edited August 2019
    Shaunie said:
    Hey! 

    Its really good of you of be going to two volunteer jobs!do you think the second one that doesn't partially help - is it worth still going to?

    You said you end up doing something stupid outside of work I'd get reminded. That sounds really hard - has anything been able to stopped you or distract you? Maybe doing lots of self care stuff after work and doing things you enjoy could help

    i hear your fear about them finding your work place - I hope that would be unlikely 

    let Us know how work and everything else is going on:)

    thanks, the other one is still enjoyable and I like It there. I’m currently trying different ways to see if distracting works so far feeding the ducks and talking seem to when I’m out as for if any of people in hate turn up which is possible since public is allowed there, if anything bad happens I can just go get the manager.  
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    "The thing is s i don't know whether or not i should do something? and why do brown teens seem to hate whites? it's not the olden days anymore. everyone should be respected and treated how they want to be treated"
    Absolutely, we all should be treated how we want to be treated and what they did to you was completely out of order and I'm sorry that it happened to you. 

    As a minority, I feel like I could perhaps give you some insight as to why SOME minorities may have a strong disliking towards white people. I wish that I could say that there hasn't been occasions where I've been treated differently because of my skin and as much as I hate to say it, most of these experiences have come from white People. But the saddest part is that it's not uncommon for people like myself.

    I never forgot the day I was called a ****, I never forgot it because it was by a child, yeah a CHILD. You don't forget how you're made to feel when you're served last after making an order first. You never forget how it makes you feel when the cashier checks the authenticity of your note but not the white couple in front of you. Or when security follows you around in shops because they think you're going to steal. Or the counlesss amount of times that that you witness people hide their belongs or hold their bags that little bit tighter when you walk past. Things like this happen frequently and belive me worse things happened to relatives, friends and parents. Violence, unjust actions or being treated with hostility in the workplace. 

    It's emotionally and mentally exhausting when things like this happen. you begin doubt yourself and the skin you're in because people have already made the assumptions that you're a threat or ignorant or look at you like you're the scum of the earth.you're no longer an individual, rather a pack of animals tarnished with the same brush. How you're treated may not be as overt as being called a **** but more discreat ways that you wouldn't notice unless they happened to you over and over again. Either way, it's soul destroying. 

    So it's hard, it's hard to move on and it's hard to feel valid as a human being when you're often made to feel less.Those who feel so hurt by white people have often been put through  unpleasant experiences that they want to inflict what's been inflicted. 

    I went through a period of being so broken and beaten that it turned me into angry person. I didn't want to be hurt anymore. I just wanted to feel like it was okay to exist in my skin and not have to fight for that right. Leaving the comfort of London really opens you up to these kind of experiences that lead you to become thicker skinned, not as a choice but as a mechanism of survival. 

    I was raised in multicultural environment from birth, so these experiences came as a real shock to the system. I don't let it effect me now and it has taken a lot of work to get to this point. I understand how easy it is to become so full of hatred and anger. To come through unscathed by such unpleasantness is challenging but not impossible. 

    I hope this helped 😉
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