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want to die

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    I feel so bad now. 😭😭😭😭😭 Atleast they're being honest 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Think I am having panic attack now but I should probably shut up 
    I'm so sad
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    You don’t need to shut up shaunie z
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    Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Proud of you Shaunie 
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    Mia_mooMia_moo Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    This should be a supportive atmosphere. No mean, unnecessary comments please. 
    @Shaunie talk as much as you need too, no judgement here  :)<3
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    You're not annoying at all Shaunie. I'm really glad that you're reaching out and we all really want to listen and help you. Please don't stop talking, we adore you :heart:
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    And here I was getting ready to drop some vitriol in this thread. You handled that much better than i would have done shaunie.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2019
    Thank you.  @Kathleen @Mia_moo @Butterfly23 @Spook98
    it's probably cause I'm disgusting.  I kinda thought that if I open up about disgusting stuff people would think think horrible stuff. Just didn't think would say horrible stuff. So i don’t know if will try speaking about that again. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Was actually starting to feel tiny lil bit better. Think going to log off and carry on feeling sorry for myself lol
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    Your doing so well shauines sending hugs ❤️
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    Mia_mooMia_moo Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    @Shaunie try not to let one person out of everyone here define the way you feel. I know it sounds hard and it knocks your confidence but we all back you up ❤️
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Really hard not to let it affect. I'm still really upset. I think it's cause I'm dirty
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Don't feel safe to seek help anymore. Don't think even want help anymore. Maybe beyond it anyways. Think will ask the mix to close this.  Im really sensitive and just over think every single thing. 

    not like that's anyone's fault or anything. It's how I feel anyways. & Guess just being honest :/
    Cause I also tell my self I hate myself after I say disgusting things


    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Mia_mooMia_moo Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    @Shaunie obviously it's  completely your decision but this is why we are here, to pull you through when you are feeling like shutting off. You may feel like the things you say are dirty, but we don't. Not forcing you to have help, just think it would be good if you could carry on and let us support you 🙂 We don't want you to feel alone in this x
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    dogmad20dogmad20 Posts: 152 Helping Hand
    Sorry to hear this 
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    JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,313 Part of The Furniture
    Just chipping in here briefly to say quite a few of the posts in this thread, and one or two others, have been removed. Not everything that was deleted was bad and most of you were super supportive - just wanted to re-focus the conversation. :)
    The truth resists simplicity.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Thanks @Mia_moo and @Mike
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Hello Shaunie, how are you feeling today?  <3
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Sad. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    dogmad20dogmad20 Posts: 152 Helping Hand
    @Shaunie what’s up?
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm sorry you're sad, always here if you need to get anything off your chest or even just some hugs :heart:
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2019
     
    Post edited by Siena on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Sorry deleted what wrote. Finding hard to speak about even more recently. Getting worse 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    alice123alice123 Posts: 88 Budding Regular
    Hey @Shaunie

    Just wanted to remind you that we're here for you and care about you <3

    How are you doing today?
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    Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey Shaunie, 

    I'm sorry you are finding it more difficult to speak about whats troubling you, but I just wanted to remind you that we are here whenever you feel comfortable doing so  <3

    Butterfly x
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2019
    Thank you. But doesn't feel safe to post on here now to be honest about how feel/ things struggle with but thanks. Maybe I'll stick to posting in "hugs" and "ranty" thread cause don't deserve replies anyways 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    I understand that if it doesn't feel comfortable then it can be hard to open up here, you do deserve replies and i'm sure that everyone will want to help in any way they can.  <3

    Sending lots of love!

    Butterfly x
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2019
    I've asked the mix to close This. Had enough & this thread too triggering tbh. But thanks. Its everytime I open up about disgusting things people either ignore It or they just be honest about what feel after. (Everywhere I seek help) Stupid to think I'd try. Keep how I feel/what affects me the most to my self now
    Post edited by Siena on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Mia_mooMia_moo Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    @Shaunie I'm really sorry you feel this way ☹️ Everyone here wants to help you and we all care about you, trying doesn't make you stupid, you deserve help as much as anyone else. Xxx
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2019
    Everyone probs wishes me dead am contaiminated with "golden shower"/more like dirty rain🤢in my skin
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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