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Inpatient, PICU, not happy - TW

LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
edited July 2019 in Health & Wellbeing
Had a shit time of it. I attempted to end my own life again a couple of weeks ago thats why I havent been on here and a passer by called the police before I was about to do it and the police injured me and put me in handcuffs. Took me to a place of safety and I was sectioned. I came to an acute ward but they couldnt handle me so put me in seclusion and injected me a few times then they reffered me a a PICU which is where I have been for the last week you arent allowed phones in a PICU but I'm so angry that I'm back where I was treated like shit!


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Comments

  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    I'm so sorry you're having a shit time of it :( I don't really know what to say just wanted to send hugs <3  

    As for being treated like shit before, did you put in a complaint about it? As for when you're out of hospital, ask your team to let you do a personal statement for the mental health act, its what I done and its been a god send, its basically forms that state your wishes if you become unwell again (sectioned basically) its stuff like where you want to be treated, what they can do to support you and whats helpful/unhelpful... it's really worth doing :)


    Hope things start to look up for you soon and we're always around if you want a chat/vent <3
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    Yeah I have put in a written complaint about it. Ok thanks I'll see about that. I really want to harn myself but it will probs end me up in seclusion again so I might not have my phone.
  • LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    I did harm myself but the ward manager walked in as I did it. I havent been put in seclusion again but I hate this ward because of the way I was treated last time but at least my section ends on the 10th.
  • LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    My orginal post dosent make sense it dosent say who injured me -it was the police.
  • AbigailAbigail Posts: 816 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi Sham, 

    Sorry to read you've been through this recently. How are you doing at the moment?

    It sounds like you've had a rough few week with being sectioned, being on the acute ward then being moved onto the PICU ward. Has anything been said about after you come out of hospital in terms of care if that is from the mental health team or anything? I understand how frustrated you are with it, its hard when things like this happens. The police officer wouldn't have meant to hurt you they would have been doing there job to keep you safe. Keep reaching out here and to the mix support team here and if you feel you need further support in the future and want to talk to someone contact the crisis team here. 

    Abi
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
  • LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    I have been injuring a part of my body and now I have a massive migraine. I feel like crying. I usually take medication for it but they havent got it in stock so all they've given me is ibropofen. I feel a night of no sleep.

    Nope nothing has been said about coming out. 

    The police officers shouldnt have restrained and put handcuffs on a mental health patient.
  • ItaliaItalia Posts: 220 Trailblazer
    Hi @Sham

    Things sound really tough for you right now. You have an awful lot going on at the moment and it would be difficult for anyone to manage. How you were doing today? Have you managed to get some sleep since this post?

    You have every right to feel upset for the way you have been treated, and its okay to spend some time talking through how you feel about it. Its good to see you talking about it here, and I hope your feeling the support of the community right now. Your not alone and we are here to listen if you need to talk things out. Well done for writing out a complaint, that takes a lot of courage and is no small thing. Do you know what the next steps are?

    Although I am glad to hear you are in a safe space at the moment, the inpatient unit sounds really uncomfortable for your right now. Are there any staff which you feel comfortable speaking with or that you trust?

    I hope your doing okay at the moment. 
    Take care right now,

    Italia 

    “People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses.”
    -     Brene Brown

  • LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    edited July 2019
    Doing shit today again. Nope, I havent had much sleep and what they prescribe me to take to sleep dosent help me sleep so I don't take them. So no, I havent been able to get much sleep.


    I don't think there are any next steps about the written complaint although I have asked the ward manager if I can have a meeting with her and bed management because I want to express that I don't want to stay here evan though I've only got a week of my section left I don't want to be on this ward. She said she has phoned her today but there was no answer so she'll try again in the morning she says. I don't evan want to be here tonight though :'(

    I'm not evan in a safe unit. I've been harming myself non stop. I have an infected wound that really hurts yesterday they said they was going to get a doctor to come and have a look at it and no-one has.

    No there is'nt anyone that I feel comfortable or speaking to.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    Heyy,

    Sounds really hard right now, aswell as how youve got there to how you feel they treat you

    its great youre taking steps for your own care like writing complaints and asking for meeting. You deserve best care and a say so its good to make that choice and that you know you deserve better care. 

    a lot of wards are now letting people self harm as thats your choice and a way you manage your feelings - that doesnt mean they dont care or not a safe unit but they def should get someone to see it if it may be infected. 

    Let us know how you get on. Its awful to be an environment you dont like, i hope we can support you as best can. 

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    Yeah but I could die from my self harming. I could have to get a skin draft or evan worse get sepsis. They are supposed to be looking after me not letting self harm in such dangerous ways.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    Yes ofc
    how are you feeling today? 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    Doctor has prescribed antibiotics for my self harm but I'm refusing to take them because I want sepsis. Night staff do my head in they've only given me half of my night meds so I'm not going to sleep until late tonight😢 still feeling shit. A week tomorrow though I'll be discharged.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    Oh thats a shame youre not taking them now when you seemed quite adamant that you need help for it

    i thought the sleeping pills was not working so you didnt take them ? Glad theyre working now

    good to hear youll be discharged soon
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    Yeah I was 'adament' that I have an infection but I wasent going to take antibiotics for it.

    Yeah sleeping pillls don't work especially just one sleeping pill like Zopiclone or Promethazine I need a combo. Lastnight they didnt give me the combo so I was distressed until 2am when I finally got to sleep.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    I understand.
    How can we support you?
    does if help sharing here? Might be useful to talk more about how youre feelin
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    edited July 2019
    Yeah it helps sharing here. I hate this ward I'm desperate to move to another ward that is how I'm feeling. Evan though I only have a week left I still want to move. I got ward review tomorrow morning so the consultant might discharge me early though (hope so!) And my advocate is in this afternoon she hopefully she can push things for me to be moved wards.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    Does sound really challenging. 
    Its good to know about the possible discharge. Hope goes well for you & hope you have things there to get through the day to distract or something

    were listening & here to support too. <3
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    5 days left in this shit hole. There going to see if I can have leave Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday with staff I don't know if to jeperdise getting killed or getting put on a section 3. I know what I want to do but cant exactly put it on here.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    Sending hugs! :)
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    I'm well pissed off because my friend has told me she is fed up, tierd and is stressing her out coming to visit me every other day in hospital and she needs time out. She said fuck you so I said that's not nice and if I was visiting her in hospital every other day I would look forward to seeing her rather than telling her it's making me fedup, tierd and stressing me out and I also said that she had yesterday as time out as she didnt visit me yesterday. I think it's nice she has been every other day but today I think she is being harsh and nasty.
  • chubbydumplingchubbydumpling Posts: 487 Listening Ear
    Hey @Sham, I can hear that you're feeling a bit annoyed with your friend. I think it's a good thing that she has let you know that she's feeling burned out from visiting you but I agree, it's not very nice for her to swear at you. 

    Maybe she just needs a bit of a break from visiting you to focus on her mental health as well? It's not unfair for our friends and loved ones to need some time for themselves to recuperate. 

    I'm glad that you've been enjoying her visits before now at least. What can we do to support you? 

    Sending hugs <3
  • LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    edited July 2019
    I feel like hurting myself evan more and the nurses just had to bandage me up that you agree that she needs some time to recurpate. It's not like like she has been everyday. She's had a day in between seeing me to recurpate herself.

    [edited by moderator] 
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    That is nice of her to visit that much. Understand you feel upset by what she said

    everyones different and some people hate visiting people in hospitals and can be tiring & stressful - i dont like visiting people in hospital tbh - it doesnt mean they dont care about you or something. And maybe is best to appreciate when people say-  what stressing them out and be supportive of that also. 

    Im glad youre seeking help for yourself here and taking care of your self in that sense - really great. Were here for you aswell. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    I'm so upset I've just seen a doctor and he's reccommened I stay in hospital on a section 3. I've just got to see another doctor before Wednesday to see if he agrees. I want to hurt myself evan more than what I have hurt myself now but if I do they'll have more reason to section 3 me😥
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    Stay strong! I hope all goes okay on wednesday. Being under a section can feel awful. <3
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    I don't know how to stay calm if they put me on a section 3 tomorrow I'll be kicking the doors and spit on staff because they are plotting against me then I'll be put in seclusion again and sent back to PICU. So I need a plan for tomorrow incase they section 3 me. I'll try and speak to someone later but they'll all too "busy".
  • LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    Just had a mental health act assesment for a section 3 and they've agreed with the other doctor so I'm now on a section 3 I think I don't know if it starts from today or tomorrow when my section 2 ends. I've hurt myself badly managed to do that instead of spitting on anyone. Got ward review at 10:30am tomorrow and a solicitor is coming to see me at 11am to put in for a tribunal. I feel like binge eating now and purging.
  • davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey @Sham

    Sending love and hugs to you,

    If you don't mind me asking but what is all this section three and two stuff, I'm just quite confused 😕

    If you don't want to explain then just ask one of the mods to delete this part of my comment, 

    Sending hugs and best of luck. 🤗
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    edited July 2019
    Sending hugs @Sham 💗
  • LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    No it's fine to ask it's not exactly what Butterfly said section 2 is for assesment and you can be kept for up to 28 days and my 28th day is tomorrow but a section 3 is for treatment and can be kept for 6 months at a time.
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