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Can't breath properly.

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    Oh lol. It says propranolol can treat long QT aswell ah. So if do have it then on right thing anyways loll. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey @Shaunie, glad you got another appointment for tomorrow, hopefully it will be more helpful than it sounds like it was today. Do you know what to expect tomorrow, what tests they will be doing? You could raise that you are worried it might be QT? 
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    Thanks Lucy

    Maybe. But the gp im going to tomorrow. Ive only seen him once before and he was the one who prescribed propranolol and he seemed a bit dismissive saying its just anxiety and all that

    and if he is just going to tell me to kept tAking the propranolol then i may just cry again lol. Clearly not helping. Am suffering. 

    So i don’t know what else he can do for me :(((((. If not much then im going to brutally say that i cant cope with it and really want to end my life

    Im glad is an early appointment tho cause feel like shit
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    Finally booked in for blood tests and going for chest x ray today
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    CarolineVCarolineV Posts: 133 The Mix Convert
    Hope your appointment and x-ray go okay today Shaunie. If you don't feel the propanolol is helping then there might be other things the doctor can try. When are the blood tests? <3


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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    Its so bad😭😭😭

    Honestly Thought i had made up my mind last night /very early morning  and nearly was going to kill myself 😭😭😭😭😭. 


    I have hardly slept because struggling to breath. If anxiety then i do know what i get anxious about. But not only cant i breath - i literally can not wee, even tho need to by time i go toilet i just physically cant. And pretty sure has been over 20 hours since last went
    So at like 6am i was like that is it : this is exactly what the abuse felt like - not being able to breath and being desprate to wee. So was thinking ive had enough and was literally so close to doing something that would end me in seconds. 

    But yeah didnt. Im a bit calmer mentally & from suicidal stuff but physically im still the same and well maybe anxiety as simailr happened few times but maybe something wrong because cant breath or wee and isnt that like an emergancy. 

    My stomach is hurting everywhere like really weird pain and chest feels very tight and keep feeling waves of feeling little bit sick,had chest xray yesterday was fine & v fast. Should have blood tests tomorrow
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    No one would even understand
    & no one cares. I should of died
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    edited June 2019
    .
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,313 Part of The Furniture
    Truthfully @Shaunie, I don't think we can understand what you're feeling because we're not you. But that genuinely doesn't mean we don't care. You're dealing with a cocktail of nasty stuff right now and you don't have to be alone with it if you don't want to be. :)

    With everything you're experiencing - the shortness of breath, the anxiety around it, the physical issues with going to the loo - I'd be surprised if you weren't feeling worse than usual. Physical health has a huge impact on mental health and you're clearly dealing with a lot of the physical stuff, so it's understandable to be hitting breaking point. Especially when you factor in your overall mental health before the shortness of breath started happening, and the knock on effect of sleeping badly. :(

    How did all the tests go in the end?

    For what it's worth, I'm glad you're alive. It's not a small thing that you decided to keep living; it's brave and not everyone would have made that choice. You're overcoming things every day and you should be proud of it. <3

    How has your physical health been since you last posted here?
    The truth resists simplicity.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you @Mike

    All the tests was fine actually. Until a doctor was hearing my chest with one of those thingys and usually they have done it over my clothes but he was doing it under when i said it doesnt matter twice and yeah he was just like im just hearing your chest

    My breathing today has actually been as okay as it has been this month. Maybe because i knew i was going to call in sick to work today lol. But physically still bad with going toilet and awful

    but samartians have helped me a lot today. Ive had two phone calls with them. So like from going to never calling to speak about how i feel to having two phone calls is difference probably cause i feel so shit. Idek why i reach out of support should just die

    and theyre also going to ring me back last. Today ive sat on phone with them for about 2 hours. I think added up over 1 hour would of been silence lol

     but they read my email before ringing me so it makes it easier to say what am struggling with when they already know 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    I think they have given me too much propranolol. No where on the internet does it say anyone can start with the amount they've given me for anxiety. It says the starting dose is less. And its for high blood pressure too, if anything my blood pressure is lower. And my body is only small

    Ive never taken this many pills a day for it, only less (which know now should leave few hours) dont take anymore cause my head feels like there is a lot of pressure. I took more yesterday and threw up and now my head feels like lot of pressure. 

    And on here this is saying some1 in uni was prescribed less. https://www.headmeds.org.uk/my-story/81-i-take-propranolol-for-anxiety-rachels-story
    It says that everywhere

    theyre trying to kill me off

    When im less anxious im going to ring my gp to ask when i get chest xray results and blood tests

    [edited by moderator]
    Post edited by TheMix on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    Oh well this is embarrassing 😒😒😒

    i don’t know how possible 
    But there is absoulty nothing wrong with anything of the test Or chest x ray

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    I don’t know how much longer i can cope with it. I keep thinking about a way to die so i dont end up in hospital or paralysied but to be 100% dead. I know a few
    (Not in crisis or have plan)
    it did get a bit better few days a go i think now really bad again

    Its nothing physical that can be treated that they know of right now. I still dont believe is anxiety. My heart rate doesnt increase i just have tight chest and cant deep breath So im pretty fed up and not sure how much longer i can take. I havent slept and hard to eat
    I feel agitated and stuck in a body that cant breath. 
    Post edited by Siena on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Hugs Shaunie, we are all here for you <3
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