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Training to be peer support worker

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    Thank you

    im thinking back to  

    Shaunie said:
    Welll lol done speech. Was awful. Not going to lie. 
    I had panic attack I think or was dying at one point(not in speech). Only part that was good is that I didn't regret my choice of clothes cause people did go very casual and some went v formal. I Felt Inbetween so was okay.  
    And i didn't say what I even wrote I was too nervous to even read I can't even remember what I said. And after hearing other people's i was thinking ommmg I need to say more about my mental health seeming everyone spoke about that so made up stuff on spot  A ll I know is I start with "hi I'm shevaun, and I'm really nervous tbh but as already been said 'what's the worst that can happen' so I will just try" then I spoke load of shit. . And i was soo agitated when speaking like idek where to put my hands. There was a mic and people taking cameras everywhere.  So I started to get really figgity when speaking which is embarrassing since they're taking picture so I look all over the place looool

    isnt this embarrassing.??? (In spoiler) Like where is my legs and hands and they put these shit all over their social media

    Fml. I cant keep still when that anxious embarrassing :'(



    i didnt do too bad actually. Considering how unprepared I was compared to other people. If I knew you basically said lot indepth about your mental health challenges & then how you've progressed I would of been more prepared. I guess it was expected as speeches are personal to you. But considering I wasn't that prepared & I added most stuff from the top of my head while making eye contact- I didn't do that bad. Was a lotttt of people. I didn't have shaky voice probably because of my sore throat and I took propranolol right before. I think the propranolol helped a lot. I just don't know why I cant just stay still when anxious. Ive never been put in such a High anxiety position like that

    Everyone was crying, even my sister said she was.  but I didnt cry over anything & made me feel heartless but just kinda felt empty. They bigged us up about how hard was to even get onto the training & how much work went into it, & yeah it is so much work for 4 weeks (first time they did the training in that sort space- normally over 12 weeks) but idk. & kept saying they're proud of us & wouldnt spend on all time preparing for training & doing it & passing each one - if they didn't think we'd do a good job. Which did make me feel like a somebody. But that was only time lol.
    and what is annoying is staff member already put photo up friday and i look bad and the only one not even ready

    and I think they made us do a speech because like sharing parts of "your story" is a big thing of the role
    Post edited by Siena on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    i still think about situations long after they have happened and go over everything that I said or did and people's face expressions on if they was judging me. I don’t know why it matters but always does. 

    & there was someone who i was sectioned with in hospital about 3 years ago. She was graduating as peer support worker from Cambridge. I remember her clearly I dunno if she remembers me. Didn't say anything. Think she must of remembered me. Kinda awkward, but yeah guess can't judge anyone from hospital state

    We didn't do anything after graduation cause everyone was busy mostly cause of their kids. But I really want to do something with them and they said we will but I'll be sad if dont cause they're all really nice.
    now I'm going to work and am sad and have too many thoughts 


    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    JordanJordan Moderator Posts: 343 The Mix Regular
    Well done delivering your speech @Shaunie! Standing up in front of an audience can be so daunting, but it sounds like you did great!

    It's good that when reflecting on your speech you realise you didn't do bad. I was told once that the only person that ever focuses on our mistakes when public speaking is ourselves. The audience isn't focusing on what we think are mistakes, but on what we are actually saying. It sounds like you had a lot of stuff to say and the fact that you were able to wing it is great.

    It sounds like you feel like you analyse things a lot after they happen. What sort of situations do you do this in?

    It also sounds like you want to meet up with everyone from the course afterwards! Have you thought about trying to organise something with them? 

    You say your sad about some thoughts you are having. Are you comfortable sharing what those thoughts are?

    Well done again on giving your speech :)
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    Thank you @Jordan
    Think about it with a lot of situations. I over think everything even at work and work was shit today not for any particular reason just always shit
    and maybe the NHS did just waste load of money training me because i want to be dead

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    Just spoke to my tutor about voluterring and he gave me number to contact to ask if have any PSW voluteer. And was asking if I wanna voluterr first or go into job. I said I didn't mind but it's seems that every job as PSW You need to drive and he said yeah they say is preferable but he said he doesn't think they can rule you out for not driving as long as say how you make it work. Which yeah I didn't even know. But he said there is lot of job don't need to travel at all and many PSW who don't drive. (Don't want to drive just cant atm. ) so I may go and look back at the jobs that are out atm

    also spoke about other things they're offering. They have a training for application process and interview process for the NHS as it's not like CV sort of thing. And can be quite hard. I'm not sure whether to go to that. I think i will. But only to the start of it because I don't want to do the practising stuff

    Also spoke about co production stuff and helping about with recovery college about the subject they hold. I'm not too sure if I wanna help out with that or not yet. 


    I didn't see my tutor for this convo lol I saw him for face to face feedback as was offered to everyone so thought might aswell see where can improve and what did wrong. And was a 30 min appointment.  
    But basically he just said he has no concerns what so ever and that I clearly Learn really well , take info in and text book learner. So then that was it and asked if I had anything questions on improving but I didn't really think of that. Thought he was just gunna tell me where can improve. But he said really well and communication assessment was really well and everything he wanted to see and thats how can see if someone can be peer support worker. 

    So then said like still basically have 30 mins left so spoke about that instead lol. 



    But that convo has made me feel so much better right now. Cause he seemed really impressed with like how I am.  So felt good 


    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    You should be proud of yourself about that feedback Shaunie, well done!  <3
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