Home Health & Wellbeing
Fill out our Discussion Boards user survey for a chance to win a £50 Amazon voucher, to shape our services, and get closer to earning a badge!

The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

12357148

Comments

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Literally just got here
    Laine said:
    Thanks very much @Floxy i actually appreciate it <3

    sometimes there need not be a reason, sometimes we just have one of those days be it because we're sad or just need a good cry. 

    we're here for you just take it easy and have a cuppa and relax <3
    Thank you so much @Laine That means a lot to me. :)

    I suppose it's just me having the blues. Maybe I should play my saxophone. :3
    Laine
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 The Mix Regular
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    Millie2787fadedangelLaine
  • Millie2787Millie2787 🐶 💜 Posts: 3,450 Boards Guru
    edited October 2018
    @meggles I care xx I hope you’re okn💖
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
    Laine
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Literally just got here
    Storms are threatening just off the coast right now. Hope we're not up for another sleepless night. Can hear rumbles getting closer.
    fadedangelLaineShaunie
  • fadedangelfadedangel Posts: 263 Budding Regular
    Meggles said:
    Do you know what hurts? Having no sense of belonging. Knowing nobody cares at all about me. 
    @Meggles i care and loads of others do also, I hope your doing okay I’m sending hugs  <3

    if your struggling just know that, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and you can do this - your so strong!

    Take Care (((HUGS)))
    Lauren 
    « I have been through hell but the best is yet to come « 
    Laine
  • LaineLaine Llama Mama Gone for GooPosts: 2,307 Boards Champion
    edited October 2018
    I'm feeling pretty good today just came here to say I'm sending hugs to everyone 💕

    You are cared for @Meggles
    We're all here for you x

    Hope the storm calmed down @Floxy 💗

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "What's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it?" ~ Bastille

    "Here's to the ones that we got
    Cheers to the wish you were here, but you're not" ~ Maroon 5
    BubblesGoesBoofadedangel
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Sunny ScotlandPosts: 3,535 Community Veteran
    Bad thoughts are starting to creep back in, after a really good day :( 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
    ShaunieLainefadedangel
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Literally just got here
    The sodding internet keeps blinking off taking down my vpn. it keeps doing this every 2 minutes and is stressful and annoying. why does this happen to me tonight when i'm already feeliing nauseous from unexplained anxiety, also worried that lightning in the distance is coming ever nearer and there's no one awake right now to help me through all this. :'(
    ShaunieLainefadedangel
  • ShaunieShaunie I’m alive but I’m ✨dead✨ England 🏠Posts: 10,930 An Original Mixlorian
     

    𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕪 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 💕💕

    Laine[Deleted User]fadedangel
  • casscubcasscub Noob Posts: 138 Boards Initiate
    So i attempted yesterday (Monday) and now im back home again. Feeling worse than i have ever felt and feeling so helpless to
    "Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose" 
    Lyndon B.Johnson 
    [Deleted User]ShaunieLainefadedangel
  • ShaunieShaunie I’m alive but I’m ✨dead✨ England 🏠Posts: 10,930 An Original Mixlorian
    This morning i said to my sister “Teddy keeps looking at me and then crying” (teddy is my dog)

    Her reply was “ive done that before” ”looked at you and then started crying”
    😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔

    𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕪 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 💕💕

    Lainefadedangel
  • Millie2787Millie2787 🐶 💜 Posts: 3,450 Boards Guru
    IM having such a shit day today to the point I’ve had to come home early as i couldn’t cope being in college any longer 😩
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
    [Deleted User]Lainefadedangel
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Literally just got here
    IM having such a shit day today to the point I’ve had to come home early as i couldn’t cope being in college any longer 😩
    BIG HUGS for you Aimee! Love you lots and lots!
  • MAP98MAP98 Newbie Posts: 18 Confirmed not a robot

    Have to go and give a community talk in a couple of hours but all I want to do today is stay home, drink tea and not talk. Can I not just stay home on my own and not socialise for a couple of days.

    Lainefadedangel
  • RJWRJW Posts: 1 Literally just got here
    edited October 2018
    Hey, i guess i just need to get a few things out if that's okay.. I attend Cahms and i'm soon starting DBT as i've been depressed, suffering anxiety, bulimic, suicidal and self harming for about 3-4 years now. 
    A lot of things have happened in the past which i'm willing to explain but right now i guess i need to talk about what's bothering me recently. 
    about 5 months ago i was admitted to hospital for over week after i gave up and overdosed after i told a terrible lie at school which soon got taken way out of hand and i couldn't control it, it takes a lot for me to acc say this but basically i told my friends my dad abused me after they saw my self harm. The worst thing is, i believed my lie, i literally convinced myself and others that my dad abused me, this went on for about a year. i cant comprehend how or why i thought that after i was the one who hurt myself in the first place. i literally used to harm myself when i dissociated and then convinced myself my dad did it. i know its a disgusting horrible, horrible lie to tell and i dont blame any of you for hating me for it, i hate me for it. which is why i took the overdose, i realised it was me hurting myself and not my dad and then couldn't face my lie. This combined with the other things which had happened in my life were enough for me to die. clearly it didn't work... I left a suicide note explaining to my family about what i said about my dad and other lies i had told which are less significant etc. Anyway, so the secret came out and i got help etc, my family cant understand why i did it but they still love me i think. 
    A few months after this (the 22nd of August to be exact) i was finally trusted enough to be let out with my friends and i jumped at the opportunity to get drunk with my friends in a park. after drinking as much alcohol as i could get my hands on i opened up to a guy who was there and told him the truth (ish) about my dad which he was surprisingly dead nice about, gaining my trust.. It didn't end well and this guy, my school "friend" ended up raping me. i heard he raped some other girls at my school but he convinced me they were lying for attention, like i did with my dad.. My other friend who was there when it happened and was less drunk than me soon told my dad who called the police and they turned up at the house where i was drunkenly crying and ended up giving a statement.. the guy got arrested, i did interviews and tests etc but the stress of it all was too much and i ended up not taking it to court as they said it could take up to a year longer and my cahms worker said it may be too much for me to handle as i was coping with my other mental health issues at the same time, the police weren't helpful at all and made me feel like rubbish.
    i know what you're thinking.. i lied about my abuse so i must be lying about rape. there is nothing i can say to make you believe me other than my promise that this is truly what happened... i'm pretty sure.

    However, it keeps going around and around in my head and tormenting me that what if it's all started again and this is another lie.. screaming at me that i'm a liar and disgusting and if it is true i deserve it after what i said about my dad anyway, so either way i'm disgusting which is true, i do deserve this i know.. but i know, i know, this time its different, i get flashbacks and nightmares and panic attacks about what happened with that guy and i self harm and cry and freak out every time i see him in school. i know i'm telling the truth but i cant help thinking deep down my family and therapist don't believe me and they think it's another lie which kills me inside. I AM A LIAR. how do i know whats true and whats not!? even though im certain this happened, i've never felt so scared and paranoid, disgusting or hurt in my life, this is so so different than how i felt when i thought my dad was hurting me, this is so real. i dont know if im making any sense at all but this is buzzing around my head and i cant say it to anyone incase they think i am lying and this is the same as what happened with my dad etc. I self-harm, i binge drink in order to forget, i can't sleep, i'm obsessed with not eating and losing weight, i cry randomly all the time, i'm either severely bulimic or starving myself all the time, i try to kill myself so many times because i'm so confused and so fucked up and so scared all the time, i can't make sense of any of this. Yet i tell my cahms worker, teachers, freinds, boyfriend and family i'm fine and laugh it all off which frustrates them because they know i'm not. i need to die or fix my head, i'm not even sure which anymore. i don't know what to do, why am i such a horrible disgusting liar yet honest about what happened with the rape at the same time, or not honest about the rape, i really don't know, but i can't do this. my self harm and eating problems are getting so much worse, i'm losing so much weight and my body is worse than ever before and i feel crazy.
    i've recently got a new boyfriend who is amazing! he's such an amazing guy and i hate myself so much for putting him through watching me do this to myself, he's constantly worried and stressed that i'll die from bulimia or i'll kill myself etc, i tell him i'm fine and can sometimes convince him everythings okay but we both genuinely know it's not. i know i'm only 15 but i think i love him, i know i love him. he's so kind and understanding and patient with me even when it drives him crazy that i wont talk to him about this stuff. what other guy would stay with a girl this fucked up? i genuinely dont know how he hasn't left me, i'm not even pretty or fun or confident, or willing to sleep with him, i can't even kiss him because the thought freaks me out after what happened with Adam (the rapist) what have i got to give? yet he's still here. i know deep down i should end it now and save him from putting up with my depression and crazyness but i can't bring myself to do it, i can't lose him, which i know is so selfish, i've tried convincing him he should leave me even though it kills me inside but he knows i do love him (even though i can't tell him i love him unless i'm drunk) and i don't actually want him to leave. it's so confusing, who else would put up with this? he's my favourite person in the entire world yet i'm so scared of getting hurt i can barely show him how much he means to me, i'm even more scared i'll hurt him, he's waited 2 years for me and now we're finally dating i feel bad, like i'm holding him back. Do i let him go and leave us both hurt and alone or hang onto him and hurt us both? 

    Sorry i rambled on for a whole lot longer than i intended. I don't even expect any one to read this far. I think i'm done. it's good to get this all out. Thanks, I hope each and every one of you are okay, you will be one day so don't give up, hang in there, thank you so much for letting me get this all out x

    Laine
  • fadedangelfadedangel Posts: 263 Budding Regular
    I just need a hug 😭
    « I have been through hell but the best is yet to come « 
    BubblesGoesBooindependent_Mike
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Sunny ScotlandPosts: 3,535 Community Veteran
    My plans tonight have been cancelled. Normally my mind would twist it and would end up hurting myself but honestly don't have that feeling right now. My friend I was meant to be going out with collapsed (she has anorexia) and I'm more worried about her than anything else. I hate seeing my friends struggle so much, and it just reminds me how far we still have to go. I met them all in a psychiatric hospital but sometimes when I'm with them I forget that we're ill, I feel normal, but things like this just bring me back to reality. 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
    [Deleted User]fadedangelLaineindependent_
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Sunny ScotlandPosts: 3,535 Community Veteran
    Came up on my timehop that 7 years ago the school told me my anorexia gave off a negative vibe and I was to think about others :expressionless:  

    Also made me realise ive spent over 7 years stuck in the midst of this illness, its been 12 since I first showed signs, theres been times when ive maintained a healthy weight but anorexia was still there. thats over half my life :(
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
    LaineMike
  • ShaunieShaunie I’m alive but I’m ✨dead✨ England 🏠Posts: 10,930 An Original Mixlorian
    Really hurts on my right side of my chest all of a sudden. Is where the liver is and my gp said if i keep doing what i do then i could get liver problems and people can die within a few days of it. I dunno if she said that to scare me but i am not scared , as i wanna die. But more wanting to know what is wrong. Its literally hurts where the liver is suppose to be so i dunno what that means

    𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕪 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 💕💕

    BubblesGoesBooLaine
  • MikeMike Screen addict 🎮 LondonPosts: 2,784 Community Manager
    Shaunie said:
    Really hurts on my right side of my chest all of a sudden. Is where the liver is and my gp said if i keep doing what i do then i could get liver problems and people can die within a few days of it. I dunno if she said that to scare me but i am not scared , as i wanna die. But more wanting to know what is wrong. Its literally hurts where the liver is suppose to be so i dunno what that means
    Do you think you would be able to give 111 a call, @Shaunie? If you're worried about any pains or other medical issues, it's always best to get an assessment from a professional. Even if it turns out to be nothing serious, it pays to be safe and put those worries to rest. :) 
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
    LaineShaunie
  • Millie2787Millie2787 🐶 💜 Posts: 3,450 Boards Guru
    I’m so much emotional pain after last night 😭
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
    BubblesGoesBooLaineShaunie
  • ShaunieShaunie I’m alive but I’m ✨dead✨ England 🏠Posts: 10,930 An Original Mixlorian
    edited October 2018
    Mike said:
    Shaunie said:
    Really hurts on my right side of my chest all of a sudden. Is where the liver is and my gp said if i keep doing what i do then i could get liver problems and people can die within a few days of it. I dunno if she said that to scare me but i am not scared , as i wanna die. But more wanting to know what is wrong. Its literally hurts where the liver is suppose to be so i dunno what that means
    Do you think you would be able to give 111 a call, @Shaunie? If you're worried about any pains or other medical issues, it's always best to get an assessment from a professional. Even if it turns out to be nothing serious, it pays to be safe and put those worries to rest. :) 
    Ah thanks but It started to not hurt so much so just left it. But is just a dull ache now not really hurting just aches and feel pressure on lower side so maybe will go to my gp tomorrow to ask but probably waste their time. But feel conviced ive got something wrong with my liver now. 

    𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕪 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 💕💕

    Laine
  • ShaunieShaunie I’m alive but I’m ✨dead✨ England 🏠Posts: 10,930 An Original Mixlorian
    edited November 2018
    Omg im still alive. Cant even bring myself to ring up my gp but think i am okay.  Thought i might of be dying with acute liver faulire or something but wishful thinking :(

    wanna diee

    𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕪 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 💕💕

    LaineBubblesGoesBooTheAprilFool
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Sunny ScotlandPosts: 3,535 Community Veteran
    Back home and I really don't want to be :bawling:
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
    LaineShaunieTheAprilFool
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 The Mix Regular
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    Millie2787TheAprilFool
  • ShaunieShaunie I’m alive but I’m ✨dead✨ England 🏠Posts: 10,930 An Original Mixlorian
    Feel realy bad that i never went to recovery college today. . Total fuck up

    𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕪 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 💕💕

    BubblesGoesBooLaineTheAprilFool
  • Millie2787Millie2787 🐶 💜 Posts: 3,450 Boards Guru
    I’m not ready to say goodbye this time next week 😭
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
    BubblesGoesBooLaineTheAprilFoolKasa2103
  • Millie2787Millie2787 🐶 💜 Posts: 3,450 Boards Guru
    Just feel like bursting into tears but can’t when I’m in the middles of my lesson 😭
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
    TheAprilFool
  • TheAprilFoolTheAprilFool Miniposter Posts: 187 Boards Initiate
    Recently I've been really craving physical affection. I've been struggling with family issues and I keep flipping between feeling angry and feeling guilty. I keep finding myself looking for reassurance and not being sure where to get it. I know it's not true, but somehow I keep convincing myself that nobody really cares about me. Even the friends I grew up with rarely make the effort to start a conversation anymore. It might be nice to have someone to check in on me occasionally, but I can't blame them for the fact that I never told them that I've been thinking about suicide for years. My relationship ended last month and even though I know it was for the best, it made things more difficult in some ways. The people I talk to on dating sites always seem to lose interest in me fairly quickly, and I've been debating on whether my feelings towards a friend are strong enough to be worth risking our friendship by admitting that I have a crush on her. I'm 19 and I still sleep with a teddy bear because I always wish that I had someone to cuddle. 
    RileyShaunie
  • ShaunieShaunie I’m alive but I’m ✨dead✨ England 🏠Posts: 10,930 An Original Mixlorian
    edited November 2018
    Anxiety getting really bad recently.

     Keep having intense anxiety/panic attacks and even making it harder and stressful to write on here and feel being judged with everything i write and not making sense. 

    𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕪 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 💕💕

    LaineBubblesGoesBoofadedangel
Sign In or Register to comment.