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So, nothing happened? Or did it? Please, I'm trying to help and want to.
No. Nothing happened
That's okay - please don't beat yourself up about it. You're still living and breathing, and that means something. It means that you are still fighting to stay alive despite these thoughts in your mind telling you otherwise. You're not a failure - by surviving each day, you're winning the battle every day!x
I think the diary was a nice idea - if nothing else, it gives you an outlet and allows you to put your thoughts on paper
From what I have just read, you seem to have inadvertantly talked yourself into a corner. :chin:
Your mental health has made you feel lonely, isolated and wanting to give up. Its viscious circle damages your want to feel better, making the struggle all the more difficult, though while feeling lonely isn't actually a mental health problem, it's linked with loneliness and increases the negative impact on your everyday living. Except you have already found courage in opening up, you must be aware that you are not the only person to feel so rough, for there are many others who are feeling the same as you: and many of us are here.
One way of helping to lift yourself out of this hole is to keep a journal, for by writing your feelings down, the flow of ink transfers your feelings to paper and once written, I found some burden lifting. It was a single step into doing something for myself, and writing really helped me get a handle on dealing with depression, and the terrible sadness of losing my little one whose anniversary was last month.
After this, I contacted my counsellor and sought help and I recommend you try, please try and contact your doctor again, at least tell them how dreadful you are feeling because they are there to help, except we must try and help ourselves. Just a little bit?
I am asking you to take this small step; call it a baby step like my little one first ventured to do. Because there is hope, and I like our friends here are hoping for you and so I am asking you to reach out to yourself.
Your first post took a lot of courage to tell us. Nobody deserves depression, but you are not alone. I'm sorry you are in this awful hole of isolation, but am glad you are sharing your feelings with us. I care about you and I am here to listen or help in any way I can.
Wishing you all the best,
~ Belle
Hi well first of all I do a journal and it doesn’t work. I have never gone to my GP for help and no one knows how I’m feeling apart from my tutor. If I wanted help I would have gotten it by now. I wish people would stop trying to make me get help
Then I politely ask, why have you returned and what would like any of us do do?
Okay, you say that you self harmed but then say that nothing happened to cause it so?
I don’t want you too do anything. There’s a difference between wanting support and wanting help.
Nothing did cause it, I just did it because I wanted and needed to.
We are trying to help and support you, whichever word you're wishing to use.
I don’t see why your still trying to help me
Fine, okay and understood. Thank you for telling me. :wave:
Because, as you know, we all care about you and are here for you. Is posting here helping? Remember, this is your open space to talk and air your inner thoughts and feelings.x
@Butterfly23, I just wanted to let you know that it's okay if you don't want to reach out for help right now, we respect your decision but also want to help you use this space here. You've done really well to reach out here
You mentioned in your post earlier that you've been struggling a lot recently and that you feel you deserve to feel this way. What makes you feel like you deserve it?
It sounds like your tutor is giving you some advice, what sorts of things have you found helpful from her?
All the best,
- Aife
Hi Aife,
But by posting on here shows that an individual is reaching out for help and support? Which is a great thing, as we are all here to give that after all.
Stay strong. We are all here. As you know.
Take care
I just wanted to check in and ask how you're feeling today?
Before you mentioned that it doesn't matter. I just wanted to say that you do matter! This is your space to talk about anything you want to. We're all here for you anytime you want to talk.:)
- Aife
Even though getting help and reaching out could be a really could thing for you, it's understandable if you don't want to open up or talk to anyone just yet.
No one deserves to feel bad about themselves and we all possess some really great qualities that we should celebrate and appreciate about ourselves. Maybe you can think of somethings you like about yourself or are good at?
Also, when we're in a situation or feeling a certain way for so long we become used to it and are scared of change, so it's understandable why you said you "like it", is there any reason in particular why you don't want change or to be 'happier'?
Always here to talk,
-Nish
Just wanted to say hello and check in on how you are feeling? Absolutely no pressure to get help just now, but if you would like to talk about anything we're here and we care about you. Sending hugs *hug*
- Lucy