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Struggling as usual :(

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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix convert Posts: 132 The Mix Convert
    Butterfly23 wrote: »

    No I’m fine

    So, nothing happened? Or did it? Please, I'm trying to help and want to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Miniposter Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    @Shaunie well it’s my decision whether I want help or not and I don’t. No one can make me
  • Former MemberFormer Member Miniposter Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    AngelIsMe21 wrote: »

    So, nothing happened? Or did it? Please, I'm trying to help and want to.

    No. Nothing happened
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    deleted
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,103 Boards Champion
    edited September 18
    Butterfly23 wrote: »
    @Past User. I feel like a failure cause I am one, I self harmed so much last night. I’m pathetic


    That's okay - please don't beat yourself up about it. You're still living and breathing, and that means something. It means that you are still fighting to stay alive despite these thoughts in your mind telling you otherwise. You're not a failure - by surviving each day, you're winning the battle every day!x

    I think the diary was a nice idea - if nothing else, it gives you an outlet and allows you to put your thoughts on paper <3
    Post edited by TheMix on
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Owl Whisperer Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    Hi Butterfly - welcome back to our community. :)

    From what I have just read, you seem to have inadvertantly talked yourself into a corner. :chin:

    Your mental health has made you feel lonely, isolated and wanting to give up. Its viscious circle damages your want to feel better, making the struggle all the more difficult, though while feeling lonely isn't actually a mental health problem, it's linked with loneliness and increases the negative impact on your everyday living. Except you have already found courage in opening up, you must be aware that you are not the only person to feel so rough, for there are many others who are feeling the same as you: and many of us are here.

    One way of helping to lift yourself out of this hole is to keep a journal, for by writing your feelings down, the flow of ink transfers your feelings to paper and once written, I found some burden lifting. It was a single step into doing something for myself, and writing really helped me get a handle on dealing with depression, and the terrible sadness of losing my little one whose anniversary was last month.

    After this, I contacted my counsellor and sought help and I recommend you try, please try and contact your doctor again, at least tell them how dreadful you are feeling because they are there to help, except we must try and help ourselves. Just a little bit?

    I am asking you to take this small step; call it a baby step like my little one first ventured to do. Because there is hope, and I like our friends here are hoping for you and so I am asking you to reach out to yourself.

    Your first post took a lot of courage to tell us. Nobody deserves depression, but you are not alone. I'm sorry you are in this awful hole of isolation, but am glad you are sharing your feelings with us. I care about you and I am here to listen or help in any way I can.

    Wishing you all the best,

    ~ Belle
  • Former MemberFormer Member Miniposter Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Mirabelle wrote: »
    Hi Butterfly - welcome back to our community. :)

    From what I have just read, you seem to have inadvertantly talked yourself into a corner. :chin:

    Your mental health has made you feel lonely, isolated and wanting to give up. Its viscious circle damages your want to feel better, making the struggle all the more difficult, though while feeling lonely isn't actually a mental health problem, it's linked with loneliness and increases the negative impact on your everyday living. Except you have already found courage in opening up, you must be aware that you are not the only person to feel so rough, for there are many others who are feeling the same as you: and many of us are here.

    One way of helping to lift yourself out of this hole is to keep a journal, for by writing your feelings down, the flow of ink transfers your feelings to paper and once written, I found some burden lifting. It was a single step into doing something for myself, and writing really helped me get a handle on dealing with depression, and the terrible sadness of losing my little one whose anniversary was last month.

    After this, I contacted my counsellor and sought help and I recommend you try, please try and contact your doctor again, at least tell them how dreadful you are feeling because they are there to help, except we must try and help ourselves. Just a little bit?

    I am asking you to take this small step; call it a baby step like my little one first ventured to do. Because there is hope, and I like our friends here are hoping for you and so I am asking you to reach out to yourself.

    Your first post took a lot of courage to tell us. Nobody deserves depression, but you are not alone. I'm sorry you are in this awful hole of isolation, but am glad you are sharing your feelings with us. I care about you and I am here to listen or help in any way I can.

    Wishing you all the best,

    ~ Belle

    Hi well first of all I do a journal and it doesn’t work. I have never gone to my GP for help and no one knows how I’m feeling apart from my tutor. If I wanted help I would have gotten it by now. I wish people would stop trying to make me get help :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Owl Whisperer Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    Butterfly23 wrote: »

    Hi well first of all I do a journal and it doesn&#146;t work. I have never gone to my GP for help and no one knows how I&#146;m feeling apart from my tutor. If I wanted help I would have gotten it by now. I wish people would stop trying to make me get help :(

    Then I politely ask, why have you returned and what would like any of us do do? :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix convert Posts: 132 The Mix Convert
    Butterfly, we are all trying to help you and all do care. As Shaunie says, it is confusing and frustrating for us as we feel like we're going round in circles as such.

    Okay, you say that you self harmed but then say that nothing happened to cause it so?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Miniposter Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Mirabelle wrote: »

    Then I politely ask, why have you returned and what would like any of us do do? :)

    I don’t want you too do anything. There’s a difference between wanting support and wanting help.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Miniposter Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    AngelIsMe21 wrote: »
    Butterfly, we are all trying to help you and all do care. As Shaunie says, it is confusing and frustrating for us as we feel like we're going round in circles as such.

    Okay, you say that you self harmed but then say that nothing happened to cause it so?

    Nothing did cause it, I just did it because I wanted and needed to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix convert Posts: 132 The Mix Convert
    What were you thinking/feeling at the time?

    We are trying to help and support you, whichever word you're wishing to use.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Miniposter Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    AngelIsMe21 wrote: »
    What were you thinking/feeling at the time?

    We are trying to help and support you, whichever word you're wishing to use.

    I don’t see why your still trying to help me
  • Former MemberFormer Member Owl Whisperer Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    Butterfly23 wrote: »

    I don&#146;t want you too do anything. There&#146;s a difference between wanting support and wanting help.

    Fine, okay and understood. Thank you for telling me. :wave:
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix convert Posts: 132 The Mix Convert
    Butterfly23 wrote: »

    I don&#146;t see why your still trying to help me

    Because, as you know, we all care about you and are here for you. Is posting here helping? Remember, this is your open space to talk and air your inner thoughts and feelings.x
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    edited September 18
    Heyy everyone, I've just deleted a few posts in this thread so we can keep things on topic, thank you all for your lovely support in this thread, remember it's okay if someone doesn't want to reach out for support right now :)

    @Past User, I just wanted to let you know that it's okay if you don't want to reach out for help right now, we respect your decision but also want to help you use this space here. You've done really well to reach out here :)

    You mentioned in your post earlier that you've been struggling a lot recently and that you feel you deserve to feel this way. What makes you feel like you deserve it?

    It sounds like your tutor is giving you some advice, what sorts of things have you found helpful from her?

    All the best,

    - Aife
    Post edited by TheMix on
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix convert Posts: 132 The Mix Convert
    edited September 18
    Aife wrote: »
    Heyy everyone, I've just deleted a few posts in this thread so we can keep things on topic, thank you all for your lovely support in this thread, remember it's okay if someone doesn't want to reach out for support right now :)

    @Past User, I just wanted to let you know that it's okay if you don't want to reach out for help right now, we respect your decision but also want to help you use this space here. You've done really well to reach out here :)

    You mentioned in your post earlier that you've been struggling a lot recently and that you feel you deserve to feel this way. What makes you feel like you deserve it?

    It sounds like your tutor is giving you some advice, what sorts of things have you found helpful from her?

    All the best,

    - Aife

    Hi Aife,

    But by posting on here shows that an individual is reaching out for help and support? Which is a great thing, as we are all here to give that after all.
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Miniposter Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    I give up :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Miniposter Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    @Aife it doesn’t matter, I give up, what’s the point anymore.
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix convert Posts: 132 The Mix Convert
    Butterfly23 wrote: »
    I give up :(

    Stay strong. We are all here. As you know.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    I wish you all the best butterfly23. Do what you wanna do and what feels comfortable
    Take care
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    edited September 18
    Hey @Past User

    I just wanted to check in and ask how you're feeling today?

    Before you mentioned that it doesn't matter. I just wanted to say that you do matter! This is your space to talk about anything you want to. We're all here for you anytime you want to talk.:)

    - Aife
    Post edited by TheMix on
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 64 Boards Initiate
    Hi Butterfly23,

    Even though getting help and reaching out could be a really could thing for you, it's understandable if you don't want to open up or talk to anyone just yet.

    No one deserves to feel bad about themselves and we all possess some really great qualities that we should celebrate and appreciate about ourselves. Maybe you can think of somethings you like about yourself or are good at?

    Also, when we're in a situation or feeling a certain way for so long we become used to it and are scared of change, so it's understandable why you said you "like it", is there any reason in particular why you don't want change or to be 'happier'?

    Always here to talk,

    -Nish :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    edited September 18
    Hey @Past User

    Just wanted to say hello and check in on how you are feeling? Absolutely no pressure to get help just now, but if you would like to talk about anything we're here and we care about you. Sending hugs *hug*

    - Lucy
    Post edited by TheMix on
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