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Bullying: Where does it begin

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Why do kidds/adults get bullied? Because there quite, more bright, have somthing others want?

Do you think schools most of all don't really do much in bulling situations? My school and other people who I've spoke to said that their school more or less ignore it. Why?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bullying takes place everywhere and will continue as children always see themselves better than others and will find any way possible of finding something wrong with another child and persist in slagging this child.

    I dont see how schools couldn't do something about it, how can they just ignore it? In my school there dosen't seem to be that much bullying but if there is the teachers ususally sort it out.
    Its normally said that the bully normally has problems at home and takes it out on children at school.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's often because the kid/adult is either different/not willing to stand up for themselves or the bully is jealous of them. Unfortunately schools often tell people to ignore the bullies because apparently they get bored and eventually leave you alone, but because you ignore it they think they can walk all over you so it doesn't really work. I think teachers need to be a lot more harsh on bullies and really stop it because bullies are pathetic and cruel and need to be stopped.

    It's not just kids though even people in work when adults get bullied. Some shout at you for no reason, some threaten to fire you and some even sexually/physically abuse you. my sister gets shouted at all the time at work and it's not really fair but she has to cope with it because she wants to keep her job, so she just tries to keep her foot in line.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Shogun2002
    Its normally said that the bully normally has problems at home and takes it out on children at school.

    Very good point. This is often true.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Right, okay. This post might go against the usual flow that bullying topics go (ie. i was bullied, they were always so jealous cos i was smart and better than them) but here we go:

    It's a confidence and esteem issue mostly. Having low self-esteem and/or confidence reeks off of you like a bad smell. It drives people away. People wont like you until you like yourself type of thing.

    I was bullied myself, i had little self-esteem, it reeked off me like a bad cologne. I was short, fat and kinda ugly. Of course this is all change now, im tall slim and hella good looking, Xila will vouch for that. A bully who finds a person with thier head down, kinda quiet, just gets on with work, as a good target. The whole point of bullying is to give the bully a sense of superiority, thus, they will go for the easiest target.

    Wanna know how i dealt with it? I smacked the fuckers in the face. Never happened again.

    :)

    (Of course, it hasnt, my acid toungue can seriously give a verbal beating whenever deserved)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I smacked the fuckers in the face

    Well done, headbutt the fuckers :banghead:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have had experiences of being bullied and stopping bullying. My first major incidence of it was when I was beaten up in the cloakroom in Year 8 in Junior School - although according to witnesses who were there I fought back like a good'un! :D Of course this was at the end of the day and I went out to meet my mum and she asked me what had happened so I told her and my dad wrote a letter to the headmistress and she had a word with my bully and he stopped as soon as he started.

    Then I was bullied by a guy in the year above when I started at senior school - I was an easy target as I was the only guy to go to my senior school from my junior school so I was alone. So I told my form teacher and he got him to stop and I even got a letter of apology off him and he stopped.

    Then came the worst type of bullying I think, bullying by people who pretend to be your friends. I had these friends and for four years I put up with them putting me down and acting like I was thick and insulting me. It was only when I made some new friends that I discovered friendships weren't like what I had been experiencing so I disconnected myself from them.

    Then in this year I was bullied again by the Head Boy, he kept playing practical jokes on me and would pull me out of lessons for no reason and was just irritating me. But one day he said my mother should have had an abortion as an insult and he hung himself - I went and told my history teacher who I get on with and she spread it round all the staff destroying his reputation with the staff which he absolutely hated - revenge is the best way to deal with bullying.

    Again this year I learnt how to stop bullying, in my school when you get to the Upper Sixth you're made a prefect and some of these prefects are appointed to a class in one of the first three years which I was. A guy in my class kept getting bullied by a group of the other boys, I had a word with them and they denied it but I saw it for myself so I told their form tutor (the same history teacher) and together we sorted it out. I think it was one of the best things I ever did at my school.

    So the end conclusion would be that if you can't do anything about the bullying, tell someone who can.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, bullying can be awful for people... it can get so bad for people that they kill themselves, it must be pretty bad for them to go that far.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was lucky; I went to a school which didn't have any serious bullying problems (little or no actual violence), though I was a magnet for verbal abuse for a while. All of the above explanations apply; I was different, a lot smarter than the kids who picked me as a target, and didn't stand up for myself all that much.

    As for how to deal with it, I quite like this story,as told to me by my old German teacher. Apparently, a gang of year 16 year old pupils at the school took it upon themselves to make life miserable for kids in the lower years. Then one day, one of their victims went home crying, and told his brother (in the 6th form at the same school) what had happened. The next day, his brother got together with a group of 6th form friends, looked for the bullies, and taught them a short, sharp lesson about how unpleasant it can be to be picked on by people bigger than you. The bullying problem apparently ended quite suddenly after this incident.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats good-the bullies got a taste of their own medicine.:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think enough is done in schools to combat the problem of bullying.

    At my secondary school, bullying does not get dealt with. The bullies remain supreme whilst victims suffer in silence. There is a hierarchy within schools and those at the top always seem to take it upon themselves to display their superiority by bullying others. They always pick on the vulnerable ones because bullies are cowards, they pick fights they know they can win. They never seem to see this though.

    I was bullied for a few years when I started secondary school by some boys in my form. They'd call me ugly and claim I'd die a virgin and never get a boyfriend, they'd laugh at my clothes and the way I looked and throw insults my way. I'd either tell them to "fuck off", turn bright red and at times I'd try and be nice so maybe they would be to me in return. It made me even more self-conscious and I ended up destesting the way I looked. One of the boys who really, really hated me punched me in the nose one day after I tried to get my hair clip back that they had stolen. He made my nose bleed. Did he even get a detention? No. Did I get a letter of apology? No. It eventually filtered out towards the last few years there, but he was always nasty to me. I was a vulnerable one though - quiet, shy and studious. I wasn't unpopular but nor was I really popular. One thing it has taught me though is to respect yourself no matter what anyone else says or does because it is your own opinion of yourself and your own abilities and talents that shape you; not someone else's perception of you.

    Anyway, in dealing with bullies don't think dententions and warnings are enough. I think both bullies and victims should be given counselling. If someone has such an insecurity complex that they have to displace it onto someone else and make their life a misery, there is clearly something wrong.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bullies are people that are jealous and instead of improving themselves, they beat people up.

    I don't know what schools can really do about it...unless someone is a real bully and can be thrown out.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    People don't get bullied BECAUSE they are Fat, ugly, clever etc

    They get bullied because the Bullys are horrible people who like to have some kind of power over other people. Its not the victims fault
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was also picked on quite a lot at school, I think its because it was an estate school, and there was a real estate mentality, you had to fit in. I never wanted to wear a shell suit or listen to new kids on the block, I was more alternative, and tried to be political. They used to take the piss out of my glasses and called me John Lennon, and greenpeace, as i was vegetarian!!!. I was called ugly and it was really uncool to even be my friend. it doesnt sound too bad when i say it now, but it really wears you down when its day after day. I still suffer from Low self esteem even now as a result, and I often wonder if id have done a bit better in life if id gone to a different school and had a better experience, after all, the years at school do shape you to a certain extent.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bullies are cowards.
    They bully because they are jealous of the victim.
    Because the victim is smaller or weaker and an easy target.
    Because the victim is different to them in any way.
    Because they have an inferiority complex.
    Because someone is bullying them.
    They might be obsessed with the victim.
    Because teachers are shit at dealing with it and they don't nip it in the bud.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Bullying: Where does it begin
    Originally posted by Felix Da Housecat
    Why do kidds/adults get bullied? Because there quite, more bright, have somthing others want?

    Do you think schools most of all don't really do much in bulling situations? My school and other people who I've spoke to said that their school more or less ignore it. Why?

    Bullying isn't always bad. It can help a person become stronger.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Bullying: Where does it begin
    Originally posted by monocrat
    Bullying isn't always bad. It can help a person become stronger.

    After putting them through often unbearable mental and physical torture....

    I don't think it makes people stronger, it wears people down. I suppose it can in some ways make a person realise their self-worth but that shouldn't be after being bullied.

    Bullying is always bad.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think bullying is about low self esteem. I couldn't understand why I was bullied when I started High School. I wasn't really clever or pretty or fat I was just average. Now I realise I was bullied because those kids were jealous of the fact that I was happy and confident, made friends easilly and came from a good home where I was loved and looked after. After two years of constant bullying I moved schools, with all my self confidence gone. The girl I was friends with was bullied herself but also a bully and I nearlly turned into one as well because I felt so bad about myself. I spent a lot of time in a mess with drink, depression and eating problems after that, but my family helped me through. Both the girls who bullied me now have kids and drug problems and I feel very sorry for them. I don't know that bullying can be wiped out until we deal with the reasons why people bully.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Monocrat - do victims of bullies deserve what they get then?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by ElysiumUnknown
    Monocrat - do victims of bullies deserve what they get then?

    In some cases, yes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In some cases

    In what cases?

    You seem to like people having pain inflicted on them, you wanted rape and murder made legal sure.:eek:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bullying is human nature.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So is killing, does that make it right? You hold the most absurd views!

    Although, I'm inclined to believe from your constant quips that you hold no real views, but just get off on being contradictory to everything.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by monocrat
    Bullying is human nature.

    Yes it is but that dosent make it okay for people having to suffer it,does it?
    People should not be forced to go through pain and anguish because of other narrow minded bullies who have no life of their own.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Clandestine
    So is killing, does that make it right? You hold the most absurd views!


    Killing is wrong because it violates a person's right to life.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Shogun2002
    Yes it is but that dosent make it okay for people having to suffer it,does it?

    People have problems in life. Period.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by monocrat
    People have problems in life. Period.

    Problems that could be easily avoided, why do others have to pick on other youngsters? They should have no reason for it, they are no right to do it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Shogun2002
    Problems that could be easily avoided, why do others have to pick on other youngsters?

    It's the natural order of things.

    They should have no reason for it, they are no right to do it.

    Perhaps.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by monocrat
    In some cases, yes.

    In what cases?

    Are you saying that a child deserves to be beaten because of the colour of their skin?

    Or that the people who have been bullied in this thread deserved such treatment?

    Yeah life is hard, but people have the choice to be decent human beings.

    Hmm think I agree with Clandestine. You really don't have any proper reasons to back your views up with.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by monocrat
    Killing is wrong because it violates a person's right to life.

    So as a supposed liberal what about peoples rights to liberty and the pursuit of happiness as defined by that great liberal philosopher Sallier who helped create the American constitution. As a liberal surely the fact that 2 of the 3 main principles of liberalism were infringed would cause you be anti-bullying?

    On a more general point, I have never heard such a load of crap. Bullying is hell for anyone who goes through it and the last thing bullied people need is you saying they deserve it. Have you come off libertarian.org long enough to develop some compassion?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by ElysiumUnknown


    Are you saying that a child deserves to be beaten because of the colour of their skin?

    I don't think anyone 'deserves' to be beaten.
    Or that the people who have been bullied in this thread deserved such treatment?

    Evidently their bullies thought they did.
    Yeah life is hard, but people have the choice to be decent human beings.

    What is 'decent' in this instance?

    And why are my political views of consequence?
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