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Would you complain?

24

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote: »
    Did you read the article she posted? Because I have a feeling that either you didn't, or you didn't understand.

    Yes I read it and although it raised some valid points I found it to be hugely patronising and insulting in parts as is the assumption was any man reading it goes along with the attitude of "well she probably asked for it".

    I have a pretty good idea of what I'm capable of but rape is one of the things I am 100% not.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh fuck off. Have some empathy.

    Fuck you yourself. I have all the sympathy and empathy for rape victims but as someone who is not capable of such an act I object to the assumption that I am.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    CM Punk wrote: »
    Please don't judge us all by your curious standards.

    I have several good friends who have been raped. It is not an uncommon occurrence. Yes, I think women are right to be wary of all men as potential rapists, moreso when they have actually been sexually assaulted.

    Anyone at work who asks out a customer should be sacked. Partly for being inappropriate and partly because they're clearly as thick as pigshit.

    Speaking of being as thick as pigshit, I'm assuming you'll be retraction all this? You're being a fucking douche.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Retracting because you disagree with me? Makes you sound like the bigger prick to be honest.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Someone who has so little empathy that they say a rape victim has "curious standards" because of their trauma probably doesn't have enough empathy to understand what no means.

    Just saying, like.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Someone who has so little empathy that they say a rape victim has "curious standards" because of their trauma probably doesn't have enough empathy to understand what no means.

    In that case I'm happy to prove you wrong.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Excellent.

    You can start by showing you have enough empathy to understand just how inappropriate your comments to Randomgirl were.

    *drums fingers*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    CM Punk wrote: »
    In that case I'm happy to prove you wrong.

    By continuing to not rape people? I should hope so too.


    I think it was a bit of a daft thing that he did but I wouldn't have complained. I'd have probably avoided him in the supermarket from the on though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Excellent.

    You can start by showing you have enough empathy to understand just how inappropriate your comments to Randomgirl were.

    *drums fingers*

    In that she wasn't raped?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Try again, perhaps paying attention this time.

    *still drumming fingers*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    CM Punk wrote: »
    In that she wasn't raped?

    I've posted extensively on this site about how I have been raped though and also sexually abused by others.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Randomgirl wrote: »
    I've posted extensively on this site about how I have been raped though and also sexually abused by others.

    I'm sorry but I have no idea of your posting history and could not have had any idea about that seeing as I was responding to a post that made no mention of you being raped.

    Had I known this then of course I would not have posted what I did. I'm happy to take it back without the need for little Johnny-shit-for-brains getting his tits in a twist. However I strongly dispute that 'all men are potential rapists' which is utter bullshit.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    CM Punk wrote: »
    I'm sorry but I have no idea of your posting history and could not have had any idea about that seeing as I was responding to a post that made no mention of you being raped.

    It doesn't matter that it wasn't me who got raped at the supermarket. It's of no relevance.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Randomgirl wrote: »
    It doesn't matter that it wasn't me who got raped at the supermarket. It's of no relevance.

    Of course it is. Objections were raised about what I said to someone because they were a rape victim. My point is I would not have said that had I known of your history. I would still disagree strongly though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Point is, moron, is that plenty of people HAVE been raped. You should have the brains to understand that lots of people read this website. It makes no odds what happened to Randomgirl, it's not the fucking point.

    From the perspective of a woman who has been assaulted, all men ARE potential rapists. Rapists don't look or dress or act differently to not-rapists. They don't wear special t-shirts. As you can't spot a rapist it's natural to assume everyone is capable of it.

    You say you won't rape me. Great. But a rapist would also say that. Do you not grasp this?

    After all, that's why we teach children not to talk to strangers.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    CM Punk wrote: »
    Of course it is. Objections were raised about what I said to someone because they were a rape victim. My point is I would not have said that had I known of your history.

    But like you don't have to have a personal experience of something to have a genuine fear of it. I have never been mugged but walking around where I live I fear being mugged because of the area.

    It's the same as fearing supermarkets.

    Besides which I did post in this thread that I had been rather seriously sexually mistreated at the supermarket I worked at, it's really not how men should treat 15 year old girls who are decades younger than them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Point is, moron, is that plenty of people HAVE been raped. You should have the brains to understand that lots of people read this website. It makes no odds what happened to Randomgirl, it's not the fucking point.

    From the perspective of a woman who has been assaulted, all men ARE potential rapists. Rapists don't look or dress or act differently to not-rapists. They don't wear special t-shirts. As you can't spot a rapist it's natural to assume everyone is capable of it.

    After all, that's why we teach children not to talk to strangers.

    Seriously, you need to grow up. My comment was aimed at one person (which I have withdrawn). I understand that a rape victim may see all men that way however that doesn't mean I have to like or accept it. It's one of the very worst things somebody could suggest about me and while I understand it may not be personal that doesn't mean I'm not going to object to it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fine. But someone in a professional capacity shouldn't assume that a sexual advance would be welcome or would not frighten someone. It's not chatting to a girl in a bar, it's in a shop with a very different power balance.

    I don't need to grow up. You need to understand just how bad what you said was. Maybe when you've spent all night consoling a friend after an attack you might.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Randomgirl wrote: »
    But like you don't have to have a personal experience of something to have a genuine fear of it. I have never been mugged but walking around where I live I fear being mugged because of the area.

    It's the same as fearing supermarkets.

    Besides which I did post in this thread that I had been rather seriously sexually mistreated at the supermarket I worked at, it's really not how men should treat 15 year old girls who are decades younger than them.

    I don't disagree, and I think it's healthy to have a certain level of fear or respect for the danger of something. That doesn't mean I'm not going to speak out against the inference that I am potentially of something I'm not capable of.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The inference isn't that YOU are capable of it.

    The inference is that I cannot tell the difference between you and someone who is capable of it.

    *bashes head on desk*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    CM Punk wrote: »
    I don't disagree, and I think it's healthy to have a certain level of fear or respect for the danger of something. That doesn't mean I'm not going to speak out against the inference that I am potentially of something I'm not capable of.

    If you get a flight, does it bother you that they security check you as if you are a potential terrorist?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fine. But someone in a professional capacity shouldn't assume that a sexual advance would be welcome or would not frighten someone. It's not chatting to a girl in a bar, it's in a shop with a very different power balance.

    I don't need to grow up. You need to understand just how bad what you said was. Maybe when you've spent all night consoling a friend after an attack you might.

    Really? Perhaps you need to understand the fact you have no idea what I have experienced. Certainly not a sexual attack but playing the high and mighty card is pretty pointless when you have no idea of the circumstances.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Randomgirl wrote: »
    If you get a flight, does it bother you that they security check you as if you are a potential terrorist?

    Not really but if I did I would simply not take a flight. Incidentally I've not been out of the country in more than 20 years, I don't feel like I'm missing out. However if they only searched men then I may object.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Children, children, children.

    Play nicely now.

    Depending on the circumstances I may or ma not have complained. I may also lean towards not using that shop again if it's easy to avoid. Mainly because I like to be able to do my shopping without being hit on.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Children, children, children.

    Play nicely now.

    Depending on the circumstances I may or ma not have complained. I may also lean towards not using that shop again if it's easy to avoid. Mainly because I like to be able to do my shopping without being hit on.

    That's a fair comment and from the start I've said I think he was wrong to ask her out while at work. But going on the fact I could hear the flow of conversation and specifically him asking and her rejecting, I say she went OTT if it was in fact her making the complaint. The only reason this is playing on my mind is because I may be called as a witness, something I'm not comfortable with.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As a witness you just have to retell what you heard. There's no requirement to have an opinion.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You don't actually know if she complained or whether other staff members did. You also don't know how she complained; I could imagine someone mentioning it to the duty manager without intending to get them sacked.

    I don't think he should be sacked but a good bollocking would do him good.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As a witness you just have to retell what you heard. There's no requirement to have an opinion.

    To be honest it's not as if I "have" to do anything. A manager asked what I heard and I told him. There was no witness to that and I didn't sign anything to confirm it. I have no idea if it will get to a disciplinary meeting. This then becomes a moral issue. On one hand he was stupid to do that while on duty however I disagree that he may lose his job over it, it's not what I'd call a sackable offence and I would hate to think my involvement could lead to that. My ADHD means I have a (genuine) habit of forgetting details and the company knows this, perhaps I would be considered an 'unreliable witness'. If he had action taken against him with no concrete evidence other that his word against someone else's then I'm sure his union would take them to the cleaners.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You don't actually know if she complained or whether other staff members did. You also don't know how she complained; I could imagine someone mentioning it to the duty manager without intending to get them sacked.

    I don't think he should be sacked but a good bollocking would do him good.

    Unless he told somebody about it (I doubt it) then no other staff member would know as it was just those two in the aisle, I was in the next one and no other customers were about in that part if the store when it happened.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your story was awful. :( But that was the people in one place -and sometimes this kind of "people" tend to gather together. They had absolutely no right to do any of these things and I would hope that they've been exposed by now.
    However, asking someone for a drink is still not a bad thing to do and doesn't in any way mean that the person who does it is like those. You had some very bad experiences but (fortunately) they don't reflect the majority of people.

    This.
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