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Would you complain?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Work & Study
I work in one of the large supermarkets. One of my colleagues is currently on suspension as a customer made a complaint about him. I don't work on the shop floor but all staff are told to interact and be 'warm and friendly' to customers at all times. As such we often see the same people over and over again and we're permitted a little bit of small talk with them.
This guy however asked a female customer out for a drink. Apparently he sees and chats to her there a lot. He didn't do it in a seedy or sinister way - I know this as I witnessed it happen. She declined and he responded with a "Ok, no problem" kind of way. Certainly not arsey or unfriendly.
Now I'll agree that asking someone out while you're in work is unwise but really, was making a complaint all that necessary? Although not what you'd call 'mates', they apparently have a quick chat when she comes in and if he's on duty. He wasn't harassing her so while I agree his actions were unwise. would you have made an official complaint?
This guy however asked a female customer out for a drink. Apparently he sees and chats to her there a lot. He didn't do it in a seedy or sinister way - I know this as I witnessed it happen. She declined and he responded with a "Ok, no problem" kind of way. Certainly not arsey or unfriendly.
Now I'll agree that asking someone out while you're in work is unwise but really, was making a complaint all that necessary? Although not what you'd call 'mates', they apparently have a quick chat when she comes in and if he's on duty. He wasn't harassing her so while I agree his actions were unwise. would you have made an official complaint?
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I used to work in a supermarket and had some guys (usually older) flirt or say some stuff, gave me the creeps. So it was absolutely unwise, but I think the customer went a bit OTT with the complaint.
xx
I can see where you are coming from here, we don't know this persons (the complainer) history and there good be a genuinely good reason to suggest why she might have complained. However, after this I would reckon that the shop worker wouldn't approach the woman, nor would she get in any situation where they would start idle chit chat.
He might want to rape her next? I used to work for a big supermarket, when I was 15 years old. They treated me and all the other girls like sex objects, the managers I mean. One of them would come up behind me and rub his cock into my bottom through my clothes, he would touch my breasts, he would talk about spanking me next time I'm late for work, as me about lewd sexual acts, offer to 'put my hands somewhere really warm so there would be no need for me to wear gloves', call me darling, sweetheart and lots of other sexist names. When I left after 18 months my replacement was 16 years old and one of the managers tried to rape her in the warehouse. Supermarkets are not nice places, they are not safe places, if someone asked me for a drink in the supermarket I would want to now what they 'really' wanted from me, I'd be very suspicious of them. I don't go to supermarkets anymore.
I think we've just found the point where common sense exited this thread.
Well he might?
However, asking someone for a drink is still not a bad thing to do and doesn't in any way mean that the person who does it is like those. You had some very bad experiences but (fortunately) they don't reflect the majority of people.
I have a peep hole and check who it is before I answer the door. I'm very selective of who I let in my front door. For example if I am under the crisis team I only let the female workers in. I have been known to let in firemen but I called my friend to come over to make sure nothing untoward happened. And when I've had the police over they have been alright to me but I wasn't expecting them and if you don't answer your door to the police I don't know what happens, they might break it down to get to you or something? Also my friend had burgulars in a 'nice area' and they stabbed him. They moved house straight away and then after the court case moved country to New Zealand. The world is not a nice place.
OK.
Well if a guy tries to ask you out don't forget to let the police know of your suspicions about him.
Thanks Indrid
I would say that I have a lot of friends with similar experiences from different parts of the country and different parts of the world. It goes on everywhere.
I didn't report the supermarket stuff to the police but the police did get involved once they tried to rape another girl.
I guess all men are potential rapists then?
Have a bit of sensitivity. Randomgirl has shared a really unpleasant experience. The ministry of justice tweeted today that 1 in 20 women report being a victim of sexual abuse. Its a serious issue, and not to be treated flippantly, or to say that a person who basically has been assaulted has left their common sense behind.
For the record, no I wouldn't have complained based on what you've said. But if I had a background of sexual assault I would have.
Just like you're a potential child killer then.
Yes I am. Everyone is. It doesn't mean I will become one though. I also know plenty of people who have been sexually abused by women including their own mothers. It's not a gender issue. Men and women are both abused and abusers.
Please don't judge us all by your curious standards. I'm as capable of rape as I am of manual flight.
Did you read the article she posted? Because I have a feeling that either you didn't, or you didn't understand.
Oh fuck off. Have some empathy.