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Would you complain?

13

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i would be very uncomfortable if going into a supermarket meant a friendly shop assistant was going to proposition me or ask me out. He obviously completely misread the social situation and thats why there are rules. To prevent crossed wires. Also now thats a customer theyve lost.
    I wouldnt have complained, but i wouldnt be happy about it
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    but you only know his side of the story
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    CM Punk wrote: »
    Please don't judge us all by your curious standards. I'm as capable of rape as I am of manual flight.

    thats bollocks. Everybody is capable of rape.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »
    thats bollocks. Everybody is capable of rape.

    And murder and child abuse and theft....... But thankfully the vast majority of us have our 'moral valve' to know what's right and what's wrong. I'm a gay guy. Women, sexually, do not interest me at all but i am capable of rape, i have the physical capability to rape a woman, or a man, but i don't as i know it's wrong and i don't want to. I'd rather sit with my 2 net lesbian (nesbian ?) friends eating cake and discussing bedroom sausage rolls.

    As for the original post

    No, i wouldn't of complained.

    I don't think a complaint should of been made BUT we don't know any history of this woman. For all we know she was chatted up by a guy in a supermarket who then beat the shit out of her. We'll never know.

    The guy's a bit of a dick, it's unprofesssional and probably a sackable offence as he has gone past the worker/customer boundary, and he's being paid to work, not chat people up.

    We also don't know who made the complaint. Might of been some arsey co-worker who has a down on this guy, or some over zealous, shit stirring member of the public.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Or indeed we don't know how the "complaint" was made.

    I would actually speak to the duty manager and say "hey, have a quiet word with that bozo and tell him what a professional boundary is". That's not to say I want him sacked or even that I'm "complaining".

    Rubberskin: it's not so much that everyone is capable of it (they are but most won't), it's that rapists don't usually go around wearing a special rapists' uniform. They look like respectable men. They act like respectable men. Then they rape you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im sure most rapists dont even believe they are rapists
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've always been more of the view that they know they're rapists but say what's necessary to get away with it. But you only have to look at the number of men who think it's ok to grope in pubs or clubs or on the tube to understand it's a very blurry line for them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »
    thats bollocks. Everybody is capable of rape.

    No. Not everybody. I'm not.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Arctic Roll wrote: »
    Or indeed we don't know how the "complaint" was made.

    I would actually speak to the duty manager and say "hey, have a quiet word with that bozo and tell him what a professional boundary is". That's not to say I want him sacked or even that I'm "complaining".
    .

    Today I found out a bit more, she asked to speak to the store manager who was not there so in his place the Duty Manager took her complaint.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    CM Punk wrote: »
    No. Not everybody. I'm not.

    But you look exactly the same as the (figurative) guy standing next to you who IS a rapist. He also says he's not a rapist, when asked.

    So how do I tell the difference?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    we are all at the mercy of our circumstances, our experiences and our mental health at the time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Arctic Roll wrote: »
    But you look exactly the same as the (figurative) guy standing next to you who IS a rapist. He also says he's not a rapist, when asked.

    So how do I tell the difference?

    I'm not asking what I look like, that wouldn't bother me. I am telling you what I am not capable of.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You don't get it do you? Rapists and non-rapists look and talk and act the same. It's sensible to treat everyone as a potential rapist, at least until you get to know them.

    Also I agree with Suzy.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Arctic Roll wrote: »
    You don't get it do you? .

    What is it that you're not getting? I am not capable of rape, end of.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "all men are potential rapists" means "I can't tell the difference between a rapist and a non-rapist so for my own safety and sanity I will treat all men as though they might be a rapist"

    :banghead:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Arctic Roll wrote: »
    "all men are potential rapists" means "I can't tell the difference between a rapist and a non-rapist so for my own safety and sanity I will treat all men as though they might be a rapist"

    :banghead:

    I know. However I am proving that not all men are rapists. I'm not saying people shouldn't think that. I'm just saying its not correct.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    saying it means jack shit
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    John Worboys said he wasn't a rapist. So did Antoni Imiela.

    Saying it proves nada.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »
    saying it means jack shit

    To you clearly.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Arctic Roll wrote: »
    John Worboys said he wasn't a rapist. So did Antoni Imiela.

    Saying it proves nada.

    I'm not trying to prove my innocence, I am stating a fact.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    and to everyone else.

    Im glad you think youre not capable of it. Its a nice thing to think. Im saying it means nothing to the women frightened because of hideous past experience where previous trust has been shattered.
    I also have no intention of ever abusing anyone. That doesnt mean its beyond my capabilities.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »
    and to everyone else.

    Im glad you think youre not capable of it. Its a nice thing to think. Im saying it means nothing to the women frightened because of hideous past experience where previous trust has been shattered.
    I also have no intention of ever abusing anyone. That doesnt mean its beyond my capabilities.

    I don't think Im not capable, I KNOW I'm not.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    honestly its not about YOU ffs
    Its about PEOPLE. Why have you made this about you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »
    honestly its not about YOU ffs
    Its about PEOPLE. Why have you made this about you?

    I'm a man. Any statement that is about 'all men' includes me. I have been wrongly accused of a sexual offence in the past. I object to it again.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *bangs head against wall*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »
    *bangs head against wall*

    The kind of response that's not entirely unexpected but there you go.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm a guy, and even I recognise that when someone says "all men" I'm not stupid enough to think its not a generalisation. I'm sure you [CM Punk] feel the same way about someone generalising you, as much as a victim of abuse feels in a similar way that they can't believe someone no matter how much they protest that they are not an attacker/abuser, especially after a long history.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    G-Raffe wrote: »
    I'm a guy, and even I recognise that when someone says "all men" I'm not stupid enough to think its not a generalisation. I'm sure you [CM Punk] feel the same way about someone generalising you, as much as a victim of abuse feels in a similar way that they can't believe someone no matter how much they protest that they are not an attacker/abuser, especially after a long history.

    That's your call. I had no idea that this was the acceptable form of discrimination.

    If I was mugged by a black guy then as a result went around proclaiming that "all black men are potential muggers" I'm sure I'd rightly get knocked for it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We're not saying that its acceptable, it just seems that when someone has suffered a massive traumatic experience and thinks "all men are racists" which isnt right, you happen to take it personally when you shouldnt.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah except everyones pretty much unanimously said people instead of men.

    I absolutely believe you that it would be completely out of character for you, but I dont think there is a type that abuses or rapes. I believe anyone can act out of character according to all sorts of things.
    We are human and we are all flawed. We all have it in us to be abusive, put pressure on, utilise power imbalances to our own advantage. Make someone else feel shit.
    Its not nice, but with so many women having gone through some sort of sexual abuse at some point in their lives and usually by people who you just would never have thought it of, I think you were pretty shitty to randomgirl actually
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