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Would you complain?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    FFS it's not out of character, it's not possible.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im assuming youve got arms, legs and a cock?

    for fucks sake youre annoying. Get over yourself.

    Noones calling you a rapist. Theyre saying you have the potential to rape. You do. That doeswnt mean you ever will. You probably wont.
    To expect someone else, particularly a stranger who has suffered previous terrible sexual abuse and assault on several occasions to just trust everyone because you are so damn insistent, is ridiculous and really a bit cuntish.
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    littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    For me, and what I assume RG was implying in the first place, you know nothing about this guy who would potentially be asking you out. Absolutely nothing. For some people it is natural to assume the worst in people rather than the best in people. If I was naturally a distrustful person, for whatever reason, a random person coming up to me would scare me and I would think the worst, ie a rapist or murderer or something. Thankfully I'm not that distrustful, but others are. Which is why RG commented the way she did.

    As for your other argument, I'm sure that everyone has the potential to be something that they think they aren't. Ten years ago I didn't think I would be capable of being a mother. But I am now. You don't know what events may / may not happen in the future that will redefine what you are / are not capable of. At the end of the day you have a penis and know how to use it (I assume). For that reason you don't know what you could do with it in 10 /20 / whatever years time. I'm not saying you will rape, but the potential is there if the circumstances arise. Simple as.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's sensible to treat everyone as a potential rapist, at least until you get to know them.

    I don't think that that's sensible at all. I think that that's a very unfortunate way to live one's life. Fearing the worst of everyone else simply breeds distrust. I can understand that some people end up that way through their own experiences, but to then suggest that everyone else should be equally wary is, I think, not the direction we as a people should go.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im assuming youve got arms, legs and a cock?

    What if I'm disabled from the waist down and have no sexual function. Do I still have the potential?
    for fucks sake youre annoying. Get over yourself
    .

    Thanks, you're perhaps the most arrogant and ignorant object I've ever encountered on the internet but hell, we all have our crosses to bear.

    Noones calling you a rapist. Theyre saying you have the potential to rape. You do.

    No I fucking don't.
    That doeswnt mean you ever will. You probably wont.

    That's very big of you.
    To expect someone else, particularly a stranger who has suffered previous terrible sexual abuse and assault on several occasions to just trust everyone because you are so damn insistent, is ridiculous and really a bit cuntish.

    I'll tell you what is a bit 'cuntish', is you saying I'm asking her to trust me. Want to point out where I did that or is putting words in my mouth just that much easier?

    I haven't asked anyone to trust me because that's not the way I work. To be honest I'm not all that bothered whether anyone trusts me or not and that's not why I'm posting.

    If somebody feels the best way they can deal with a traumatic experience is to have a defensive attitude of "all men are potential rapists" then I'd never deny them that. However the moment you go public with such an awful statement people are going to call you out on it and you should NOT act surprised. Like my earlier analogy if I was mugged by a black man then went public with "all black men are potential muggers" then I'm sure I'd (rightly) get ripped a new one for it.
    Mist wrote:
    I don't think that that's sensible at all. I think that that's a very unfortunate way to live one's life. Fearing the worst of everyone else simply breeds distrust. I can understand that some people end up that way through their own experiences, but to then suggest that everyone else should be equally wary is, I think, not the direction we as a people should go.

    Thank you. Faith in humanity restored.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im sorry for assuming you were fully able bodied. That does make you unlikely to rape ofc. my bad.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im sorry for assuming you were fully able bodied. That does make you unlikely to rape ofc. my bad.

    Are we agreed that not all men are potential rapists?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    are you being deliberatly facetious? Ok all men apart from the ones without cocks and arms, ones without any lower body function and ones in permanent vegetative states etc

    Youre right. And im sorry I didnt realise your friend who worked in the supermarket who was innapropriate with a customer was paraplegic and therefore the customer should have not felt threatened at all as disabled people are incapable of abuse.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    CM Punk wrote: »
    To you clearly.

    To most people it means jack shit.

    Rapists say they aren't rapists. Non-rapists say they aren't rapists. What makes you different?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Saying "all men are potential rapists" is a complete platitude. All people are potential murderers. All women are potential serial adulteresses. It's fucking meaningless.
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Saying "all men are potential rapists" is a complete platitude. All people are potential murderers. All women are potential serial adulteresses. It's fucking meaningless.
    It is, pretty much. But I didn't get the impression it was said in the sense of "Everyone is guilty until proven innocent" but like "Don't be reckless, just in case". Am I wrong?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Exactly Indrid. The thing is, if someone says something that generic then you would expect that people will realise what it is, a very wide ranging generic comment. If someone takes it personally when its such a generic comment, then does that not suggest that someone is not a little touchy feely about something, or has insecurity issues? Now I'm talking about things in general here, not any specific discussion on rape/murder etc.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    except here we are talking in the context of a woman whos already suffered abuse and been raped so its self protection to think hold on, all men are potential rapists and maybe actually be frightened. This woman in the OP obviously didnt appreciate being propositioned, and RG gave a very possible reason for why she may or may not have felt like that, and how SHE would have felt in that situation only to be insulted and ridiculed. In theory all men and all women have the potential to do all sorts of nasty shit. That doesnt mean they will, but that different people have different fears and issues, especially the ones that have been raped and abused and fucked over before.
    And yes we all have the potential to murder and cheat too.
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    ReenaReena Posts: 1,375 Wise Owl
    G-Raffe wrote: »
    I can see where you are coming from here, we don't know this persons (the complainer) history and there good be a genuinely good reason to suggest why she might have complained. However, after this I would reckon that the shop worker wouldn't approach the woman, nor would she get in any situation where they would start idle chit chat.

    That's true, we're all individuals at the end of the day, with our own experiences, thoughts and feelings. What one person sees as appropriate another wouldn't.
    Still sounds like a misunderstanding to me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh my days what a thread. Will have to hit that report button on this one.

    In response to the original bit; I wouldn't have complained (but I am a man if that makes a difference).

    One 'popular' non-scientific observation is that if you are an unattractive guy and ask someone out it is creepy and/or stalkerish, whereas if you are attractive or charismatic its quite endearing even if they do not want to date you.

    I've certainly asked girls out at high school, received a no, and had their friends ask me to stop stalking them afterwards despite me not maintaining any contact after that.

    So I think my conclusion is that sometimes its not whether the -act- itself was inappropriate or the individual had bad meaning, but whether it was perceived that way. And at work I don't think that's a risk worth taking. Fwiw, I've been subject to 'sexual harassment' at work (bum slaps!) but at the time laughed it off. She apologised later in the day and said she got carried away as people were being silly and I told her not to sweat it, but I did think later that the same -action- in a different context could very easily have cost someone their career.

    Food for thought.
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