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taking the next step in the relationship...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year now, if youve read any of my other posts you already know this, you also know weve been through a lot, and you also know that hes my first real boyfriend, my first kiss. the farthest weve gone is making out. he does this thing were he literatly sticks his hand down my pants and tickles my inner thigh( i know its uber weird i dont know howw it started it just did) well like 2 weeks ago we were staying after and he tried to put his hand down my pants, i figured he was trying to tickle me and stopped him. later he said he wasnt trying to tickle me(which i dont think i have to explain what that could mean). And he asked me if i am ready to take the next step in the relationship, and i am deffinatley ready, but im still kind of freaking(seeing as how ive never done anything past making out, obviously) and i think he wants to take the next step, like behind the brick wall after school r something, and i dont think thats a good idea at all....im not sure how to...approach this. i need some words of wiisdom please. advise, stories, anything, you gguys allways seem to help.

thanks

*p.s. i didnt know wether i should post this in rlationship or sex so i just posted it here.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmm i thought it was uber weird then i realised that pants means trousers in america. i can't imagine a guy getting that close then going somewhere else :o lol sorry.. er, well i guess you need to tell him that you want to move forward in to a sexual relationship but not just for the sake of it, that you want to do things properly rather than in hurry for the next exciting thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmm i thought it was uber weird then i realised that pants means trousers in america. i can't imagine a guy getting that close then going somewhere else :o lol sorry.. er, well i guess you need to tell him that you want to move forward in to a sexual relationship but not just for the sake of it, that you want to do things properly rather than in hurry for the next exciting thing.

    yea i know its weird i think he went somwere else to make me more comfortable with his hand any were near there, which doesnt work if hes tickling every time. i dont think its rushing it thats the problem, but that the last time he tried it was in public and anyone cud walk up, find out, and kill me(my friends would). but thanks for the advise, it does help some
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    update

    oddly enough i think his biggest concern is "taking my innocence", oh and now he wants me to "plan" it. in order to do this any time soon, were gonna have to like meet up in a park or something, should i just wait till we can hang out more privatletly?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oddly were gonna have to like meet up in a park or something, should i just wait till we can hang out more privatletly?

    yes! do you really want your first time to be in a park or at school?!
    if you are really ready to do it (which you don't really sound like you are), at least use a bed...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    omg hi wrote: »
    yes! do you really want your first time to be in a park or at school?!

    God, this.

    I've done this, even gone further, in public (and not like somewhere remote, it was basically places we could have been seen at any time) and it is not dignified and it is not fun and seriously - don't do it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote: »
    God, this.

    I've done this, even gone further, in public (and not like somewhere remote, it was basically places we could have been seen at any time) and it is not dignified and it is not fun and seriously - don't do it.

    :yes: Uh huh.
    Seriously, if you love each other you can wait. A quick fubble behind a tree in a park, aint fun.
    Xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thats what i was thinking, i mean when you've had experience, public places might be your thing, but for the first time.....it just sucks that after a year of dating, were prolly gonna have to wait a whole other year beafore anything happens, it seems like toooo long!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    we get time alone...just not in a bedroom, though if my grandmother wasnt so paranoid i probably wouldnt have this problem right now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    geneve wrote: »
    Good on Grandma. Go on a holiday or weekend away somewhere then.
    ha-not if she thinks a guy is involved! thats how im going to his prom, sleeping over my sisters house that weekend, so i can go to prom but ill bet money there wont be an after prom for me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    not yet, im planning on getting a perscription when i go to the doctors next, and when every one of your sisters end up pregnant at 16-17, theres no understanding/ middle ground...they dont want the same thing, they think im getting close to that theyll lock me in room untill im 60
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The next step for you is genital stimulation with fingers though right? Not at the stage of having sex?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yea, thats why im not in a huge rush to go on birth control, but i do know i want to be on it a while before having sex
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you comfortable with stimulating yourself, do you know how to give yourself pleasure and therefre how to guide his fingers to the same aim?

    I know you say he's done it before but (that's really no indicator of aptitude), it will be better for you if you are able to either or both guide his hand with yours / tell him what feels good and waht to do.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    Are you comfortable with stimulating yourself, do you know how to give yourself pleasure and therefre how to guide his fingers to the same aim?

    I know you say he's done it before but (that's really no indicator of aptitude), it will be better for you if you are able to either or both guide his hand with yours / tell him what feels good and waht to do.

    ive masturbated, but not orgasmed. i know my body, but not what i prefer
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