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He Won't Leave Me Alone

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Fucks sake.

I have been living in Portsmouth now since Tuesday and everything over here is fine.

My physco ex won't leave me alone and its scaring me, he is threatening to put a video on the internet of us having sex, i know 100% he has this video as he phoned me up a min ago and played it down the phone to me, he told me he deleted it and i foolishly belived him.

This is really wearing me down. He says hes going to team up with my other evil ex, a friend of his, and ruin my life becuase they both "hate" me. I thought i would get away from all this shit in Portsmouth but my phone keeps going off with nasty texts from him saying things like I'm rubbish in bed, i can't give blow jobs, how hes going out tonight to get some proper pussy and how he HATES me and wants me to pay 4 what i done to him.

I'm really scared and its really effecting me. All i want is to be happy but i can't knowing he has this video and that ge hates me that much he will do anything to hurt me. I just don't know what do to. I have tryed ignoring him but I'm scared he will publish the vid so i answer his texts and calls and pretend im really hurt and upset by what hes saying as I'm hoping he will think hes done enough damage and won't have to put the video up.

This is ruining my new life i dreamed of away from him and i feel so alone with none of my mates over here. I am 2 scared to change my number incase he does something to my mum and dads house or thier business or my sisters car. he could spread so many rumors about me and im so scared and worried about what its going to be like should i ever have to move back to my home town?? what have i done to deserve this?
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ±Lover± wrote: »
    Fucks sake.

    I have been living in Portsmouth now since Tuesday and everything over here is fine.

    My physco won't leave me alone and its scaring me, he is threatening to put a video on the internet of us having sex, i know 100% he has this video as he phoned me up a min ago and played it down the phone to me, he told me he deleted it and i foolishly belived him.

    This is really wearing me down. He says hes going to team up with my other evil ex, a friend of his, and ruin my life becuase they both "hate" me. I thought i would get away from all this shit in Portsmouth but my phone keeps going off with nasty texts from him saying things like I'm rubbish in bed, i can't give blow jobs, how hes going out tonight to get some proper pussy and how he HATES me and wants me to pay 4 what i done to him.

    I'm really scared and its really effecting me. All i want is to be happy but i can't knowing he has this video and that ge hates me that much he will do anything to hurt me. I just don't know what do to. I have tryed ignoring him but I'm scared he will publish the vid so i answer his texts and calls and pretend im really hurt and upset by what hes saying as I'm hoping he will think hes done enough damage and won't have to put the video up.

    This is ruining my new life i dreamed of away from him and i feel so alone with none of my mates over here. I am 2 scared to change my number incase he does something to my mum and dads house or thier business or my sisters car. he could spread so many rumors about me and im so scared and worried about what its going to be like should i ever have to move back to my home town?? what have i done to deserve this?

    Change your number. Make sure he has no way of contacting you. Make sure your family know the situation and if need be, inform the police. He's scaring you, and it's harrassment.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    1)Change your number already
    2)If he posts the video alert the police.
    3)Do not go back under any circumstances.

    You're not going to hear anything you haven't already.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im crying so much i dont know what to do. telling the police will only make it worse as i will be seen as a grass
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would tell the police if anything become of this video, epsecially if your under 18 - very dodgy.

    Guys make up rumours about girls all the time, trust me when i say not everyone will believe what they say, and if they do then there fools.

    Tell a trusted adult, teacher perhaps?

    I know right now its so hard and scary, but im sure that it will work out. They probably are just trying to scare you and they wont actually do anything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would think better to be a grass and if something happends, the police will be able to help you...than to not say anything at all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i am 22 by the way.... no police involvement would make things 10 times worse. my ex is a chav and its their "law" never to grass on anyone, a grass is seen as worse than a peado in their fucked up little world.

    im just trying to live my life and wish he would do the same. he still loves me and its hurting as i have left him, he wants me to hurt as much as i have "hurt" him. if i cheated or something then i would understand but i didnt do anything wrong apart from take his shit for far too long
  • JsTJsT TheSite Graduate Posts: 18,265 I am one with The Mix
    I think you should change your number and tell your parents.

    If it continues you have to contact the police, he cannot be allowed to treat you in this way.

    The bloke is a cunt. Pure and simple.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm 2 scared to change my number in case he thinks "right thats it the video is going up, the bitch changed her number" I am hoping if i just put up with the shit then he will get bored
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He won't put the video up.

    Change your number. Do it. Take this chance to start your new life fresh. The arse has nothing better to do than waste his time with this. Yet more mind games.

    He would have done it by now if either 1. he was going to do it, or 2. he even knew how to do it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    so what if the video goes up? and how the fuck do you know if its actually you in the video, could it not be someone else or just porn?

    why do you care what he thinks? if he does do anything to your parent's place or your sister's car, insurance will pay for the damage, and he'll end up behind bars. You aren't being a "grass", you are protecting yourself and everyone else from this utter nut case.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jesus, just call the police. He's a horrible, horrible man!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dont worry what people will think of you, being a grass or a slag or whatever other shit he makes up. Its more important that you're happy with your life and yourself. Change your number, block his, tell the police.

    He isnt worth the bother getting upset about him. If you keep responding to his texts and calls it will make it worse, just ignore him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    so what if the video goes up? and how the fuck do you know if its actually you in the video, could it not be someone else or just porn?

    why do you care what he thinks? if he does do anything to your parent's place or your sister's car, insurance will pay for the damage, and he'll end up behind bars. You aren't being a "grass", you are protecting yourself and everyone else from this utter nut case.

    And this. Said it all, alot better than i did
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know its the video we made as i reconised the sound.

    he does know how 2 upload them, he is really good with computers. it scares the SHIT out of me knowing that he is sat at this computer RIGHT NOW with access to the internet, with this video, and all he has to do is click a few buttons and its up.

    and before you say it he wont care if people see HIM shagging as he reckons hes a stud and he looks good in the video.

    i feel deflated. honestly, WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS????
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nothing sweetie...but he has done everything to deserve a prison sentence for harrasment and blackmail.

    change your number and report him to the police. trust me its worth it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just let him put it on the internet, act like you dont even care, sure it may be slightly embarassing, but hey, who hasnt posted a sex tape online, everyones doing it these days!

    After that he'll have nothing to threaten you with. Part from hsi weird stalkerness, but if you change your number and he dont know where you are, problem solved.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can't live your whole life with him bearing over you. Sooner or later you need to sever all ties with him - so do it now!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I had my cock posted on my ex's facebook once in vengence for not talking to her it shit me up a bit til someone rated it 8/10 and I was happy!

    Being a grass is seen as bad because that would mean his actions would have consequences, remember that you are not a chav yourself, you are a normal person who phones the police when people harass you.

    Also remember that household essential for your new flat: A baseball/cricket bat next to the door for unwanted guests.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i would call the police even if he doesnt like it. Or get someone to go and do him over
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Let's put this into perspective:

    1. You ignore him/bar his number, he puts this video on the internet, you suffer approximately 10 seconds of embarrassment before you report it and have it taken down. Then you don't hear from him again and you get on with building a new, happy life. And let's face it, unless he's got some kind of supermega HD type recording device, I doubt it's going to be the best quality ever. Just deny that it's you.

    2. You give in to his childishness, run back to him for fear of him doing whatever, and/or answer his calls and he has you under his thumb, ruining your life for the foreseeable.

    I think I'd go for number 1.

    One of my exes once showed our mates naked pictures of me when I broke up with him. It was a bit embarrassing for a couple of days, but he didn't really get the reaction he was after, and I think the people he showed thought worse of him that he was such a sad bastard to stoop so low, rather than bad of me for daring to take my clothes off sometimes.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Also remember he's in this video too. Somehow I think it would look pretty lame and embarrasing for him to put it online.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JsT wrote: »
    I think you should change your number and tell your parents.

    If it continues you have to contact the police, he cannot be allowed to treat you in this way.

    The bloke is a cunt. Pure and simple.

    I agree .
    Please do it TODAY im really worried for you and id contact the police NOW.
    Anything he sends email,voicemail etc save it as evidence.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    don't always play under his rules. Change your phone number once for all and call the police. How long do you plan to let him continue?
    ±Lover± wrote: »
    im crying so much i dont know what to do. telling the police will only make it worse as i will be seen as a grass

    ...

    so if anyone is murdered, better not call the police, because you might be a grass? You aren't a chav, so his petty rules do not apply. That's like a child hitting another one and then hold on to something and call it glue (like in tag), so it can't be hit back.

    "Hey, I'm gonna upload this vid of us shagging."
    "hm, ok, I'm going to call the police."
    "NO FAIR! You grass. This is against the rules."
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i can (semi) understand the culture for not grassing on things which have nothing to do with you, but in this case, its to save yourself. Its not the same thing at all. Hes threatening you. Hes a woman beater and hes trying to ruin your life, yet feels smug that you wont tell anyone.

    He should be KNOWN as a woman beater and abuser. I hope you see sense.

    What about your friends, male and female. What do they think?
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Boards Champion
    Olive wrote: »
    Let's put this into perspective:

    1. You ignore him/bar his number, he puts this video on the internet, you suffer approximately 10 seconds of embarrassment before you report it and have it taken down. Then you don't hear from him again and you get on with building a new, happy life. And let's face it, unless he's got some kind of supermega HD type recording device, I doubt it's going to be the best quality ever. Just deny that it's you.

    :yes: This.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Olive wrote: »
    Let's put this into perspective:

    1. You ignore him/bar his number, he puts this video on the internet, you suffer approximately 10 seconds of embarrassment before you report it and have it taken down. Then you don't hear from him again and you get on with building a new, happy life. And let's face it, unless he's got some kind of supermega HD type recording device, I doubt it's going to be the best quality ever. Just deny that it's you.

    2. You give in to his childishness, run back to him for fear of him doing whatever, and/or answer his calls and he has you under his thumb, ruining your life for the foreseeable.

    I think I'd go for number 1.

    One of my exes once showed our mates naked pictures of me when I broke up with him. It was a bit embarrassing for a couple of days, but he didn't really get the reaction he was after, and I think the people he showed thought worse of him that he was such a sad bastard to stoop so low, rather than bad of me for daring to take my clothes off sometimes.

    All of this. :yes:

    Change your number, its a . And keep the old one (off) to show how much he contacts you. If he shows up at work/your new place contact the police. Tell your mum/friends at home whats been going on, they will want to protect you. The sooner you nip things in the bud and get him out of your life the better. You really should consider making a compalint to the poilce, it is harassment and the scumbag shouldnt get away with it.

    You deserve to be happy with your new life not putting up with emotional blackmail from that idiot.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    this guy never loved you. when you love someone you want them to be happy! How could he even dream of doing this to you? does he do this to every girl he goes out with? I'm not telling you what to do, but if it were me I'd be getting advice from my solicitor. What do you care what he thinks of you? Change you number, but keep the texts he's sent you, they might come in useful. This is Bullying plain & simple, and some "men" are brilliant at bullying women coz they're the "big" man then aren't they? Your solicitor might be able to stop him uploading the video, & if he's already done it, then your solicitor may have a case for infrigement of your human rights. Sorry I know this sounds complicated, but if it was me, this guy wouldn't know what hit him!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ±Lover± wrote: »
    i am 22 by the way.... no police involvement would make things 10 times worse. my ex is a chav and its their "law" never to grass on anyone, a grass is seen as worse than a peado in their fucked up little world.

    Well you're not part of their fucked up little world any more, so you've got no problem. One way to get ahead in life (and by that, I mean be happy) is to drop cunts like this and never speak to them again. People like this know only one thing in life, and that's dragging people down to their level, because they don't have the social skills to climb up to anyone else's level. Call the police, get a restraining order. Let everyone know he's an abuser. In particular let every other girl in the area know he's abused you, so they don't get taken in in the same way that you did.

    Get a new phone, and give the number only to people you can trust (i.e. your family).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    one of the reasons hes mad at me is because he found out i told one of my mates that he had physically hurt me, and she had told a few other people and so it came back to him. he didnt want people to see him as a woman beater when "all" he did was punch my legs, strangle me, pull my hair, throw me on the floor, push me against walls and doors so i would bang my head, bruise my arms, bend my fingers back, shove my face into the bed squashing the glasses i was wearing into my face and i couldnt breath and mentally deystroying me.

    Anyway, it has been over 24 hours and i have not herd from him :) thats a new record. i have told my mum all whats been going on and she said that if he ever contacts me again she is going to get and pay for a solicter for me and get the solicter to write to him warning him to stay away. i hope this is the last i will hear of him now though as i am REALLY enjoying my life here in Pompey... i never thought i would make it but here i am and im secretly proud of myself :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Protection from Harassment Act 1997

    http://www.opsi.gov.uk/acts/acts1997/ukpga_19970040_en_1

    If he re-appears, get some free advice from the Citizen's Advice Bureaux. I'm sure one of their legal people can send him a letter informing him that he's in breach of the law and that there'll be legal consequences, if he doesn't stop immediately.
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