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Nice girl. Shame about the face.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know this is gonna sound crazy, but hear me out - it's slightly possible, I mean probably not at all, obviously, but there's certainly a minute possibility, however remote and totally insane, that perhaps you have some "flaws" yourself.

    *DRUMROLL*

    And maybe she doesn't like your face. I think she's just putting up with it.
    Where did I say otherwise? I'm short, I don't look that "masculine", I earn a third what some of my friends do, not everyone likes my face with its half-ethnic genetics. That's irrelevant. Why's everyone replying back "You have flaws yourself you know" when I'm saying "I'm not into someone because of a flaw". We all have flaws, and with other girls I've still been really into them despite it, and here I'm still attracted to her but it's a put-off.

    I am curious though if people here date people who they whilst find attractive aren't crazily into for whatever reason, and if so would they be happy to settle with that person and just put up with whatever they don't like?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is there chemistry there? Do you laugh and have fun together? If you can manage to enjoy each other's company then minor flaws like these become insignificant.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    However shallow it may seem the guy has a point so stop getting on his back people.

    In a relationship you have to be attracted to both their personality and their looks...without both you will be tempted to stray and look else where, that's human nature.

    If you're really not attracted to her, then there's no point. Maybe give it a week or two to see if she grows on you, I've certainly been out with people I've thought pretty ugly on first meeting, but after a couple of times they've grown on me and I've seen past my initial reactions.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yerascrote wrote: »
    Is there chemistry there? Do you laugh and have fun together? If you can manage to enjoy each other's company then minor flaws like these become insignificant.
    Enormous chemistry, laugh and have fun together, enjoy each other's company. Good post by Kazbo above, will give it a few weeks and hope somehow things change. THX :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I really don't get the point of your post, other than to again bring attention to 'I pulled a really hot girl'. You went out with a girl, you don't like her face. It seems a small thing to get turned off by but fair enough, I guess people get turned off by other things too. Don't go out with her anymore.. Job done.

    I say if you've just literally met give it a date or two to get to know them incase they make a bad first impression, but if you've known them a while and you're not already really into them what's the point?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinkler wrote: »
    Where did I say otherwise? I'm short, I don't look that "masculine", I earn a third what some of my friends do, not everyone likes my face with its half-ethnic genetics. That's irrelevant. Why's everyone replying back "You have flaws yourself you know" when I'm saying "I'm not into someone because of a flaw". We all have flaws, and with other girls I've still been really into them despite it, and here I'm still attracted to her but it's a put-off.

    I am curious though if people here date people who they whilst find attractive aren't crazily into for whatever reason, and if so would they be happy to settle with that person and just put up with whatever they don't like?

    What has you only 'earning a 3rd of what your mates are' got to do with things? Money is not a flaw in eye's, if you like a person, what they earn should have fuck all to do with you being with them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol jomery all over

    the reactions are funny :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What has you only 'earning a 3rd of what your mates are' got to do with things? Money is not a flaw in eye's, if you like a person, what they earn should have fuck all to do with you being with them.
    Say a girl really likes a guy, but he's unemployed or on sod all, so (a) might not be able to treat her much, (b) may be lacking in ambition. That is very legitimately a "flaw".
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinkler wrote: »
    Say a girl really likes a guy, but he's unemployed or on sod all, so (a) might not be able to treat her much, (b) may be lacking in ambition. That is very legitimately a "flaw".

    I agree, a flaw because that girl only wants guys who can give her lots of expensive things.

    I don't know why I keep letting myself get trolled by you, lol
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinkler wrote: »
    Say a girl really likes a guy, but he's unemployed or on sod all, so (a) might not be able to treat her much, (b) may be lacking in ambition. That is very legitimately a "flaw".

    To be honest i could'nt care less if he couldn't treat me all the time. Relationship's aren't about money hence i wouldn't let that put me off if i liked the guy
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    I agree, a flaw because that girl only wants guys who can give her lots of expensive things.

    Erm...then I have that flaw. I won't go out with anyone who earns less than I do as a basic rule of thumb and someone who earns more is preferable. It's not that I want lots of expensive things from a guy, more that if it gets serious then I know he'll be able to provide for me and a family...ultimately I'd like to stop work when I have kids and so yes them having a well paid job and good career is important to me. Blokes do actually get insecure and still want to be the bread winners...or at least in the circles I live in - in fact it was a conversation we were having in the pub on Friday night.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    I agree, a flaw because that girl only wants guys who can give her lots of expensive things.
    Don't be so ridiculous. When looking for a partner, its legitimate to think who will you be able to comfortably have kids with and not have to struggle on the minimum wage. Who will you be able to comfortably retire with rather than be another pensioner in poverty unable to afford baked beans on £78/week state handout. And don't deny that the things that money can buy can have a seriously good impact on someone's quality of life. I'm not saying to go for a guy you don't like just because they have money, but if you like two guys enough for a potential long term relationship its perfectly legit for their money (and how much they could spend on you) to be a factor.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kazbo wrote: »
    Erm...then I have that flaw. I won't go out with anyone who earns less than I do as a basic rule of thumb and someone who earns more is preferable. It's not that I want lots of expensive things from a guy, more that if it gets serious then I know he'll be able to provide for me and a family...ultimately I'd like to stop work when I have kids and so yes them having a well paid job and good career is important to me. Blokes do actually get insecure and still want to be the bread winners...or at least in the circles I live in - in fact it was a conversation we were having in the pub on Friday night.

    Well fair enough if that's important to you but it depends what's your first priority. For some it's just about meeting someone who makes you happy, but for others evidently it's about someone who has the money to make you happy. If there were two guys, one who made you happy and was relatively poor, and one who didn't make you so happy but relatively rich, who would you go with? I guess it's all pointless how you make your own decision...

    ...but for me a girl who looked at wealth before the person probably wouldn't be the kind of girl I'd want to be with.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol, look over here i need attention!! right now me me me.....mate get over it, if she is as amazing as you make out you'll have your work cut out holding onto her, so give it time and just see how it goes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    Well fair enough if that's important to you but it depends what's your first priority. For some it's just about meeting someone who makes you happy, but for others evidently it's about someone who has the money to make you happy. If there were two guys, one who made you happy and was relatively poor, and one who didn't make you so happy but relatively rich, who would you go with? I guess it's all pointless how you make your own decision...

    ...but for me a girl who looked at wealth before the person probably wouldn't be the kind of girl I'd want to be with.

    Here here, my point exactly :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    Well fair enough if that's important to you but it depends what's your first priority. For some it's just about meeting someone who makes you happy, but for others evidently it's about someone who has the money to make you happy. If there were two guys, one who made you happy and was relatively poor, and one who didn't make you so happy but relatively rich, who would you go with? I guess it's all pointless how you make your own decision...

    ...but for me a girl who looked at wealth before the person probably wouldn't be the kind of girl I'd want to be with.

    Thing is the situation wouldn't arise where I was in the position. I wouldn't ever settle for money and not being happy that's a ludicrous statement. But I would rather be single than with someone who can't offer me the lifestyle I like. I have in the past gone out with people with less money and it's caused problems. I'm used to my way of life, being able to go out when I want, buy what I want, go away when I want and generally always have the best of everything. Now I can support that lifestyle happily on my own, I don't need a man to help with that, but I do need a man who can keep up with that.

    But then again I mix in social circles where we all earn roughly the same anyway so it's not an issue really in my life.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kazbo rocks.
    Work at IBM?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinkler wrote: »
    Kazbo rocks.
    Work at IBM?

    *nods*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kazbo wrote: »
    Thing is the situation wouldn't arise where I was in the position. I wouldn't ever settle for money and not being happy that's a ludicrous statement. But I would rather be single than with someone who can't offer me the lifestyle I like. I have in the past gone out with people with less money and it's caused problems. I'm used to my way of life, being able to go out when I want, buy what I want, go away when I want and generally always have the best of everything. Now I can support that lifestyle happily on my own, I don't need a man to help with that, but I do need a man who can keep up with that.

    But then again I mix in social circles where we all earn roughly the same anyway so it's not an issue really in my life.

    I agree with this so much. Don't have anything to add!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Let's make this clear from the outset. I don't especially care what you look like, Tinkler. I assume that the person in your AV is you, but I don't give a damn either way. I would far rather judge you by your words and your actions rather than appearance. But let's turn this question on its head. What does this girl think about your face? Have you asked her about this? And what would happen if you got a, shall we say, unfavourable response from her? Would that mean she'd be getting a ticket to Dumpsville or what?
    tinkler wrote: »
    As g_angel touched upon, the majority of young professionals in London will have a similar mindset and attitude, where looks, ambition, intellect etc are prominent in judging a person. I've seen a big difference, down here the first question you can be asked is what uni you went to / what profession do you work in, go a couple of hours up north and the convo is purely sport and music.
    Possibly true, possibly false, I couldn't say. But either way, what's wrong with asking about someone's musical tastes before mentioning questions about education and work?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tinkler you are ridiculous.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    chortle
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol: I :heart: reading these threads. They make me feel so glad I'm not a "young professional" in London.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StupidGirl wrote: »
    :lol: I :heart: reading these threads. They make me feel so glad I'm not a "young professional" in London.

    If I'm honest they do make me angry, and I can't pin down exactly why. I aspire to be a "young professional" probably in London and for me getting there but ending up with a shallow outlook would be something like a pyrric victory. So maybe it's fear that working in London changes you like this.

    But then... it's completely different from my own experiences of meeting extremely successful people. The thing they all have in common is a confidence, yes, but also they're massively into people. Not just pretty people, these are the friendliest guys and girls I've met really.

    And I've met quite a few from a lot of different sectors, but then tinkler says everyone is like him and honestly apart from the trolls on thesite I've not come across these types before.

    It's not for me to judge what other people find attractive or unattractive in someone, that's their own decision. I guess in some ways it's the attitude that makes me angry, on more than one occasion he's said he's better than loads of the people on here which I think is completely unfair.

    I guess my perspective of the world is the complete opposite of his so I can't see where he's coming from. Half of everything is luck, afterall, and it doesn't matter how clever or brilliant you are without the right opportunity...

    ...sorry, that was a little vent lol
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    If I'm honest they do make me angry, and I can't pin down exactly why. I aspire to be a "young professional" probably in London and for me getting there but ending up with a shallow outlook would be something like a pyrric victory. So maybe it's fear that working in London changes you like this.

    But then... it's completely different from my own experiences of meeting extremely successful people. The thing they all have in common is a confidence, yes, but also they're massively into people. Not just pretty people, these are the friendliest guys and girls I've met really.

    And I've met quite a few from a lot of different sectors, but then tinkler says everyone is like him and honestly apart from the trolls on thesite I've not come across these types before.

    It's not for me to judge what other people find attractive or unattractive in someone, that's their own decision. I guess in some ways it's the attitude that makes me angry, on more than one occasion he's said he's better than loads of the people on here which I think is completely unfair.

    I guess my perspective of the world is the complete opposite of his so I can't see where he's coming from. Half of everything is luck, afterall, and it doesn't matter how clever or brilliant you are without the right opportunity...

    ...sorry, that was a little vent lol

    Not all 'young professionals' in London are like this, but there are quite a few of them around the place. Gets a bit boring, really.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    g_angel wrote: »
    Not all 'young professionals' in London are like this, but there are quite a few of them around the place. Gets a bit boring, really.

    I also think that if you grow up in london your far more chilled out about this sort of thing - mostly people with this attitide are those who have come from else where and think they have made it big because they are in the big smoke....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wyetry wrote: »
    I also think that if you grow up in london your far more chilled out about this sort of thing - mostly people with this attitide are those who have come from else where and think they have made it big because they are in the big smoke....

    I agree. It's almost like they have something extra to prove. Which they don't. Ah well, hopefully, as said before, they'll grow out of it.
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    g_angel wrote: »
    but there are quite a few of them around the place.

    Who are ridiculously easy to avoid imo.

    On topic...

    Tinkler, take note of KHSS, Olive et al - these people are in good relationships, engaged infact, they know what they're talking about. :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **Helen** wrote: »
    Who are ridiculously easy to avoid imo.

    :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ahh, thanks Helen! that made me :D
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