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How to pull girls in 5 steps

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinkler wrote: »
    Imagine you get straight As, you look good, you get girls, you've got a great job, great friends, a great life and the world's your oyster. It'd be pretty hard NOT to think, subconsciously or not, that you're better than the average bear.
    Is it imaginable that what you're describing honestly isn't a normal thought process for a lot of these "better" people? I think you'd be suprised...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinkler wrote: »

    And to people who've said its better to take her to the bar and get her a drink.. I feel buying girls drinks can be a chumptastic thing to do. Symptoms of the AFC (average fucking chump). If a student club or cheap place fair enough, but otherwise drinks can be properly expensive, its a hassle waiting in a queue for a drink, and you can end up spending a fair bit of cash and getting nowhere. Add to that that often clubs/bars can be too loud, a bad environment to have a chat, and I much prefer dancing, if the chemistry's there you can take them out and chat later..

    I understand your point of view but you have become misguided and i will tell you why.

    I understand your point of view but you have become misguided and i will tell you why.

    I've always felt there are two main groups of people when it comes to learning to pull. There's people who pull and people who want to pull, simple. The difference is the translation and the learning curve that takes place when you try to "better yourself" with girls.

    You may have become convinced of a lot stuff that is leading you towards the right path but never really puts you on it, it will leave you misguided. In the same way that you will be convinced buying a girl a drink makes you like every other loser or an "AFC", it actually doesn't. Think logically, no one actually honestly thinks you're a loser for buying a girl a drink.

    Breaking the two groups down for you even further to help you see how open to mis interpretation people's views/advice on women is, especially online.

    You speak to men who have had a lot of experience with women and nothing much to prove who when asked, will tell you they don't buy girls drinks. The other group is a group of men who follow these experienced guys words religiously and gather an image in their head of how they think players are.

    Personally, i don't buy random girls drinks, basically i just don't want to, for many reasons. That doesn't make me "alpha" and it never has. You need to understand that you shouldn't listen to what players or experienced men do when they're with girls, there is no equation which equals success, those equations you truly believe exist are something our male minds trick us into creating. As well as not listening to what those players "do" you shouldn't jump on the bandwagon and get dragged into the world of those who want to be players. They, like yourself(no offense) are misguided, which is just the natural step to understanding something.

    When asked if i buy drinks for girls, as above i said no.... BUT, i buy girls drinks all the time if i trust them, they become my FRIENDS, not just girls. I'm not a chump, they could go fuck off if they thought that of me and i wouldn't be close to them if i thought they did. Hell, i buy gay men drinks, does that mean i'm a gay guy AFC? of course not, can you see the correlation between what you're being told by people which is mis guiding you?

    Here's one for you, honest truth, i've never bought random girls drinks, but every girl i began to buy drinks, take out, has become close and very affectionate towards me. i can easily imagine having a great time talking to a girl who is genuine, talking to all night and buying an extra drink for her, it doesn't make you a chump and in a lot of instances i've been retured the favour or even had the drink bought for me first and one amazing thing is i didn't think she was a loser.

    that was just to screw you back up a bit and backtrack on what you've been told. What you should be told is about core values which i'm sure you've alread looked at is how women love genuine, confident, interesting, virbrant, SECURE personality. by NOT b uying that drink a girl with a keen sense of things can tell you're being insecure. You know, if you want to buy a drink for a girl who's spent her own time talking to you buy the fucking drink and stop being a pussy, understand? i'm telling you to stop acting like an AFC and buy the fucking drink. The difference being the how and why you're buying it. So i'm hoping you're starting to turn your mind towards feeling genuine about having a good time and unafraid of your actions instead of concentrating on what you think or rather what people have told you, you should do which i hope you can consider how this misguides you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is it imaginable that what you're describing honestly isn't a normal thought process for a lot of these "better" people? I think you'd be suprised...
    I know plenty of people who have it all, and they know they have it all, they talk about it (eg magazine articles), and flaunt it (eg constantly showing off, Facebook status "Tom is surrounded by beautiful women at an exclusive club", "James just received £25,000 scholarship, I rock", "Rich just won the tennis doubles final and proudly holds the trophy" etc.
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    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    This thread really is utter bullshit.
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,286 Skive's The Limit
    tinkler wrote: »
    Imagine you get straight As, you look good, you get girls, you've got a great job, great friends, a great life and the world's your oyster. It'd be pretty hard NOT to think, subconsciously or not, that you're better than the average bear.

    You measure poeple on how good they are in comparrison with the things you like to think your good at. That's a foolish way of going about life. Life's more complicated that that. People can't be measured life that.

    Your shallow and naive.
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinkler wrote: »
    I know plenty of people who have it all, and they know they have it all, they talk about it (eg magazine articles), and flaunt it (eg constantly showing off, Facebook status "Tom is surrounded by beautiful women at an exclusive club", "James just received £25,000 scholarship, I rock", "Rich just won the tennis doubles final and proudly holds the trophy" etc.
    Then there's the answer - your friends are twats!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Then there's the answer - your friends are twats!
    Lol... people I've met from other universities of similar calibre are all very similar. You don't see many people who have it all and are really quiet/modest about it - perhaps particularly because in most good jobs today you have to be quite self-promoting / extremely confident / "in yer face" to stand out from the crowd and get ahead.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinkler wrote: »
    I know plenty of people who have it all, and they know they have it all, they talk about it (eg magazine articles), and flaunt it (eg constantly showing off, Facebook status "Tom is surrounded by beautiful women at an exclusive club", "James just received £25,000 scholarship, I rock", "Rich just won the tennis doubles final and proudly holds the trophy" etc.

    I probably know more people who are more successful and they don't flaunt it at all. Fair enough if you need to boost your self esteem but coming onto an internet message board to say how good you are...?

    Seriously, get a grip. You assume nobody knows how to pull and you're doing a public service, well here's the thing, nobody wants your help, the other thread if you'd have bothered to read it was about how many people haven't pulled because the general perception is that everyone is doing it all the time whilst in my experience people generally aren't. Then you waltz in 'OH HAI GUISE I CAN HELP YOU PULL, IVE PULLED OVER 500 GIRLS SO IM AN EXPERT'.

    I think what's most tragic is you don't see how patronising and obnoxious you are, you think you're wonderful.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think what he's trying to say is girls favour a little cockiness and someone who is ambitious can come with a little arrogance which is fine in small amounts. What tinker is missing on the other hand is how attractive modesty can be.

    When i felt i reached the top in wanting to be able to "pull" i found myself anything but flaunting it, i got bored and found myself a decent girl.

    I came back from gran canaria today, i'll post some pics in my other thread actually ^_^ Bu I don't see any attractiveness in me bragging and being a cock about it. It was just nice to get out there and spend tie, buy drinks(sorry hehe) for a girl as well as fucking her senseless! mmm! Really though what's the point? Sorry i'm going off on one now. yes being successful can be attractive but as i've said, you're very misguided to think being a total cock about it will make anyone attractive.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinkler wrote: »
    Lol... people I've met from other universities of similar calibre are all very similar. You don't see many people who have it all and are really quiet/modest about it - perhaps particularly because in most good jobs today you have to be quite self-promoting / extremely confident / "in yer face" to stand out from the crowd and get ahead.

    WRONG

    How many people do you know who 'have it all' then?

    The ones who tend to be full of themselves are people like you, 'self promoting' because they feel like they're never quite good enough.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinkler wrote: »
    Girls LOVE arrogant guys! If was arrogant in my definition of the word, ie a completely inflated opinion thinking I'm genuinely amazing, I'd get twice the action I already do..

    Arrogant guys are the biggest turn off ever. To put in bluntly they are twats. I couldn't disagree with that statement more.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hehe someone been reading the 'game' eh!! ;)
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,286 Skive's The Limit
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    The ones who tend to be full of themselves are people like you, 'self promoting' because they feel like they're never quite good enough.

    :yes:
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    From what I can read I think Tinkler is trying to tell that it's good to have confidence, believe in yourself so you can have a good life, probably a good job, lots of friends and so on.

    However, he seems to be missing out on the fact that there are two kind of "successful" people. The ones that have to use every opportunity to rise above others and are generally being patronizing, which of course have some successful people among them, and other people who are also bein g successful but don't go through their lives thinking they're better than others all the time.

    There's also the difference between bragging about yourself in certain situations in order to achieve something and ascending to the kind of god like status he seems to be talking about here.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    squeal wrote: »
    Arrogant guys are the biggest turn off ever. To put in bluntly they are twats. I couldn't disagree with that statement more.
    So why do arrogant guys tend to do so incredibly well with girls? Obviously everyone has different tastes (as many of you said in my cute guys thread), but the number of girls I've heard say how much they love arrogant guys..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    T-Kay wrote: »
    From what I can read I think Tinkler is trying to tell that it's good to have confidence, believe in yourself so you can have a good life, probably a good job, lots of friends and so on.

    However, he seems to be missing out on the fact that there are two kind of "successful" people. The ones that have to use every opportunity to rise above others and are generally being patronizing, which of course have some successful people among them, and other people who are also bein g successful but don't go through their lives thinking they're better than others all the time.

    There's also the difference between bragging about yourself in certain situations in order to achieve something and ascending to the kind of god like status he seems to be talking about here.

    :yes:

    Although i don't think he thinks you need to be arrogant to be successful, he's just being convinced arrogant people are successful and that whats he should do(or it's "right/attractive or some other malarky")
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinkler wrote: »
    So why do arrogant guys tend to do so incredibly well with girls? Obviously everyone has different tastes (as many of you said in my cute guys thread), but the number of girls I've heard say how much they love arrogant guys..

    you think that's arrogance they're attracted to?

    Ok, say a girl says "i like an arrogant guy", there's not many who say that, only few but even when they DO say that, they mean it in a totally different way to the way YOU think they mean.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinkler wrote: »
    So why do arrogant guys tend to do so incredibly well with girls? Obviously everyone has different tastes (as many of you said in my cute guys thread), but the number of girls I've heard say how much they love arrogant guys..

    I think you are mixing up arrogance with confidence.

    Arrogance = an overbearing pride evidenced by a superior manner toward inferiors. (NOT attractive)

    Confidence = is trust or faith that a person or thing is capable. Self-confidence is having confidence in oneself. (Attractive)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    J wrote: »
    But I do think it's easy to get lost between that subtle line... There's believing in yourself, and then there's believing in things about yourself that aren't true - Delusions. Interesting to hear that from a schizophrenic I guess but I assume the reason for my "confessing" to the doctor was out of my not being arrogant?
    A warrior is confident in his ability, but not arrogant in thinking he is immortal. It's the way he has to be to survive - By living in the truth/wisdom of his nature.
    I think you can still be confident whilst remaining modest... That's the difference.
    You all know that anyway.......
    Sure. So why is everyone saying I'm "arrogant"? I am NOT delusional. I don't believe things about myself that aren't true. Regarding intellect, career, prospects, heath/fitness, I'm "good" but not "amazing". That is not arrogance. I don't think I'm "immortal".
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok we get it, you think you're good.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tinkler, time for bed, you have work/school in the morning,

    theres a good boy
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MrG wrote: »
    Tinkler, time for bed, you have work/school in the morning,

    theres a good boy

    :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MrG wrote: »
    Tinkler, time for bed, you have work/school in the morning,

    theres a good boy
    Louise Agar! Fuck there's someone I've not seen in a long time! Small world.
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,286 Skive's The Limit
    tinkler wrote: »
    Sure. So why is everyone saying I'm "arrogant"? I am NOT delusional. I don't believe things about myself that aren't true. Regarding intellect, career, prospects, heath/fitness, I'm "good" but not "amazing". That is not arrogance. I don't think I'm "immortal".

    I think you have a problem in your outlook on life and people.
    You say you think your better than most people, a statment that is complete nonsense.
    Intellect, career, prospects, heath/fitness are not the only measure of somebody. Life more complicated than that and everybody has their ownj ideals.

    If you're talking about just being better in a profesional sense it's gets complicated. Lets comapre you to a nurse or primary school teacher. You have more prospects, more money, maybe more intellect but are you better than them?
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you did those things to me I'd probably knee you in the balls and walk off.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote: »
    I think you have a problem in your outlook on life and people.
    You say you think your better than most people, a statment that is complete nonsense.
    Intellect, career, prospects, heath/fitness are not the only measure of somebody. Life more complicated than that and everybody has their ownj ideals.

    If you're talking about just being better in a profesional sense it's gets complicated. Lets comapre you to a nurse or primary school teacher. You have more prospects, more money, maybe more intellect but are you better than them?
    As I said, different people have different criteria for the things they value in a person. Therefore thinking you're better than someone is obviously not a fact but an opinion - but its still fine to have that opinion as its based on the things you find important so it shouldn't be rubbished as nonsense.

    In the example you gave, if the nurse is beautiful, charming, elegant, sassy etc, then no I wouldn't really see myself as "better" than her - particularly because she's doing a noble respectable job. If she's uncouth, ugly, seems stupid, rude etc, then yes I will. Not an outrageous opinion.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I still don't understand why you are trying to make every thread about you though. Get a blog.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tinkler, my girlfriend thinks she is better than most if not all people in work at her job around the office and i think she is too but for her to get to that point she was humble and listened to others for a long time, she respected others with more experience and had ambition to become better for HERSELF and her CAREER. Now she is up for promotion she feels a slight arrogance and likes power over people(her own words), but she did not become successful by being arrogant. Do you understand?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I showed this to one of my friends who is pretty well off and he just said you're a wanker, lol.

    How come we always get the people on here who love themselves and try to normalise their behaviour by saying 'everyone else does it'...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    I still don't understand why you are trying to make every thread about you though. Get a blog.

    Indeed. This thread has no purpose for advice and does seem similar to a number of previous posters that turned threads into conversations about themselves - which isn't what this particular forum is for.

    However, it might be worth people remembering that this is a website for finding advice and support and whilst Tinkler's actual comments could easily be judged as arrogant he did post here again as a result of a breakup and he obviously isn't out spending every hour of the night snogging hundreds of women or hanging out with his huge social circle.

    It may be that some people find strange ways to express their problems, so it's worth not feeding the more negative sides of what someone is posting.

    Regardlessly - this thread is well and truly ended.
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