If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Aged 16-25? Share your experience of using the discussion boards and receive a £25 voucher! Take part via text-chat, video or phone. Click here to find out more and to take part.
Options
Comments
It's the existence of opportunities that allows crimes to happen. The basic crime model says that there are 3 aspects of crime. Victim/Location/Offender. If you remove any of those then the crime simply won't happen.
If people didn't present opportunities to criminals of any sort then they'd be a lot safer. Wether that being Skive taking his Sat nav with him and rubbing out the sticker ring, or the girl not getting absolutely wasted and passing out comatose in an alleyway somewhere. In both examples a small change of behaviour and increase of awareness will go a long way to preventing them becoming victims of crime.
There will always be sick rapists out there, trying to educate them into understanding "no means no" really isn't going to work, especially when there are people out there who's defence against rape is "she was already dead".
This is the type of advice I was referring to previously.
Is that directed at me, the person who wrote the advice or thesite for putting it up? Please point out for everyone the part where it tells women not to get drunk or wear short skirts because I must be seeing things.
I have no intention of sticking my head up my arse and pretending that this sort of thing doesn't happen because it upsets my idealized agenda. I'll stick to concentrating on the real world, thanks.
No one is saying or suggesting that. What we're trying to get across is that a proportion of rapes can be prevented by taking precautions.
To hold the belief that anyone, regardless of sex can go out, get absolutely hammered to the point of oblivion on a regular basis and have nothing bad happen to them is naive, and if i'm being honest a dangerous attitude to have.
Yes, stranger rape is thankfully rare, but you sound quite oblivious to the fact that it does happen, and refuse to accept the position that you have a part to play in deterring or preventing it.
I've got an idea, and it sounds like you'll agree with me. What if, next time we find a comatose 15 year old girl in an alleyway with an empty vodka bottle in her hands, what if we just leave her there? perhaps we should tell her just to sit tight, nothing bad will happen, maybe tell her to walk it off?
Or maybe, just maybe I'll carry on with taking her home to her parents, or putting her in an ambulance and then lecturing her the morning after about how drinking to oblivion and passing out in an alley isn't really the safest thing in the world. You ok with that?
"Well, we have it on good authority that you have given money away before, how do we know that you didn't want to give the money away this time? And you were wearing a business suit that night? Makes you look like you like flashing that money about, are you sure you didn't just hand it over and regret it? By the way you were acting in that bar, you seemed to be enjoying giving money away..."
I don't think that's what we're trying to argue at all, it's an intepretation but not the right one.
I'm not arguing in favour of the "alcohol is a defence" or anything like that, rapists are scum and the law should be changed so that drunkeness can't be interpreted for consent. I'm arguing, and I think that Indrid is as well that if you drink to excess, then the chances of something bad happening to you increase, whether you're a man or woman.
By consuming less alcohol you are more aware of your surroundings and far more likely to stay safe.
Katralla is of the opinion that despite being paraletic she would still be in complete control, no matter what the situation. She's of the opinion that it's a person's right to get absolutely wasted, regardless of conscequences and fails to see how alcohol could be a contributory factor, despite evidence to the contrary.
Yep. Some of you might be interested in reading this, I don't know if it has already been linked on here. Link
There are people who really do enjoy having sex with strangers. I don't think people giving money away just because they feel like it is as common.
Still: Do you really think that it's preferable to not advise people against making themselves vulnerable, than to advise them and then having them risk not being believed?
Unless I'm mistaken, in general it would be preferable to avoid some rapes while some that happened will go unpunished, than avoid none and have more of them punished. Is that wrong?
don't lie.
Perhaps. But again: If they tell you not to leave your house unlocked while on holidays and then you come back and find your TV and computer stolen, wouldn't people say "I told you so" and think it was in some way your fault? It still wouldn't excuse the thief's actions.
The difference between this scenario and rape is that there's little reason for someone could believe that you wanted your things stolen, while there's many reasons why you'd want to have sex with a stranger. It's still a matter of consent, but prevention is always important.
Tis ok, happened a long time ago, I'm pretty much on an even keel nowadays, just about I wasn't really addressing any points, more a case of me thinking out loud. But I'm trying to echo what KHSS said, it's kind of a silent way of saying, "If you didn't do x, y and z, why not?" Which is not what survivors need, they need a safe space, and support. I just don't think hearing things like that will make survivors come forward to get help, even if they have no intention of pressing charges.
The fact that people might use your drunkenness as an excuse to not convict a suspected rapist while they wouldn't do that if the crime was one of theft is a totally different problem, and shouldn't have a bearing on safety advice.
From who exactly, people will always have poor opinions but I don't think for one second that anybody here has advocated giving out such an opinion as it is clearly a wrong one.
Let's imagine two extremes:
1)You can prevent most rapes, and have all the ones that happen go unpunished.
2)You can not prevent any rapes, but all the ones that happen will be punished.
Which of the two extremes do you think would be better for society as a whole?
People will always have poor opinions on what? People do HAVE that opinion though, an opinion I think is demonstrated in this thread.