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Rape is a 'myth' says BNP bloke

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's the existence of rapists which makes people vulnerable. Not drink.


    It's the existence of opportunities that allows crimes to happen. The basic crime model says that there are 3 aspects of crime. Victim/Location/Offender. If you remove any of those then the crime simply won't happen.

    If people didn't present opportunities to criminals of any sort then they'd be a lot safer. Wether that being Skive taking his Sat nav with him and rubbing out the sticker ring, or the girl not getting absolutely wasted and passing out comatose in an alleyway somewhere. In both examples a small change of behaviour and increase of awareness will go a long way to preventing them becoming victims of crime.

    There will always be sick rapists out there, trying to educate them into understanding "no means no" really isn't going to work, especially when there are people out there who's defence against rape is "she was already dead".
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Randomgirl wrote: »
    Also, I found this article on thesite to be a bit odd:

    http://www.thesite.org.uk/homelawandmoney/law/victims/survivingsexualassault

    This is the type of advice I was referring to previously.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Non-violent sober rapes by someone you trust are obviously a myth then and women should just not get drunk and wear short skirts then they won't end up as rape victims? Have a word with yourself, yeah?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    Non-violent sober rapes by someone you trust are obviously a myth then and women should just not get drunk and wear short skirts then they won't end up as rape victims? Have a word with yourself, yeah?

    Is that directed at me, the person who wrote the advice or thesite for putting it up? Please point out for everyone the part where it tells women not to get drunk or wear short skirts because I must be seeing things.

    I have no intention of sticking my head up my arse and pretending that this sort of thing doesn't happen because it upsets my idealized agenda. I'll stick to concentrating on the real world, thanks.
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    katralla wrote: »
    Non-violent sober rapes by someone you trust are obviously a myth then and women should just not get drunk and wear short skirts then they won't end up as rape victims? Have a word with yourself, yeah?
    So you're saying that since only some rapes (but still a significant amount) would be prevented by these measures, these measures aren't worth being taken?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    Non-violent sober rapes by someone you trust are obviously a myth then and women should just not get drunk and wear short skirts then they won't end up as rape victims? Have a word with yourself, yeah?



    No one is saying or suggesting that. What we're trying to get across is that a proportion of rapes can be prevented by taking precautions.

    To hold the belief that anyone, regardless of sex can go out, get absolutely hammered to the point of oblivion on a regular basis and have nothing bad happen to them is naive, and if i'm being honest a dangerous attitude to have.

    Yes, stranger rape is thankfully rare, but you sound quite oblivious to the fact that it does happen, and refuse to accept the position that you have a part to play in deterring or preventing it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That what you say to people who come into the police estation to report a rape, that they "have a part to play in deterring or preventing it"? Well, no suprises there then. Go on, examine your head.
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    (No use, it's been said before to no effect)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla,are you just being wilfully ignorant or is it accidental? Of course we don't fucking say that to someone reporting a rape.

    I've got an idea, and it sounds like you'll agree with me. What if, next time we find a comatose 15 year old girl in an alleyway with an empty vodka bottle in her hands, what if we just leave her there? perhaps we should tell her just to sit tight, nothing bad will happen, maybe tell her to walk it off?

    Or maybe, just maybe I'll carry on with taking her home to her parents, or putting her in an ambulance and then lecturing her the morning after about how drinking to oblivion and passing out in an alley isn't really the safest thing in the world. You ok with that?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think the point trying to be made, is that if a guy was flashing his money in a bar, then got mugged, if he/she reported the crime, how likely are they to hear...

    "Well, we have it on good authority that you have given money away before, how do we know that you didn't want to give the money away this time? And you were wearing a business suit that night? Makes you look like you like flashing that money about, are you sure you didn't just hand it over and regret it? By the way you were acting in that bar, you seemed to be enjoying giving money away..."
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go_away wrote: »
    I think the point trying to be made, is that if a guy was flashing his money in a bar, then got mugged, if he/she reported the crime, how likely are they to hear...

    "Well, we have it on good authority that you have given money away before, how do we know that you didn't want to give the money away this time? And you were wearing a business suit that night? Makes you look like you like flashing that money about, are you sure you didn't just hand it over and regret it? By the way you were acting in that bar, you seemed to be enjoying giving money away..."



    I don't think that's what we're trying to argue at all, it's an intepretation but not the right one.

    I'm not arguing in favour of the "alcohol is a defence" or anything like that, rapists are scum and the law should be changed so that drunkeness can't be interpreted for consent. I'm arguing, and I think that Indrid is as well that if you drink to excess, then the chances of something bad happening to you increase, whether you're a man or woman.

    By consuming less alcohol you are more aware of your surroundings and far more likely to stay safe.
    Katralla is of the opinion that despite being paraletic she would still be in complete control, no matter what the situation. She's of the opinion that it's a person's right to get absolutely wasted, regardless of conscequences and fails to see how alcohol could be a contributory factor, despite evidence to the contrary.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not arguing in favour of the "alcohol is a defence" or anything like that, rapists are scum and the law should be changed so that drunkeness can't be interpreted for consent.

    Yep. Some of you might be interested in reading this, I don't know if it has already been linked on here. Link
    Judges have undermined a law intended to stop defence lawyers cross-examining women in rape cases about their sexual history, by continuing to insist on their discretion to allow it, a new book discloses.

    Interviews with 17 judges in London and Manchester found that some insisted they still had a wide discretion to allow questions on sexual history, although the law was changed in 2000 to impose severe limits on questioning.
    Their survey of more than 2,000 members of the public aged 18-69 showed people tended to blame the woman for bringing the attack on herself, see a case where the man had sex with a woman without her consent when she was drunk as not a "real rape", and downplay the seriousness of having forced sex when the perpetrator was the woman's former partner.
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Then, there's another difference to take into account:
    There are people who really do enjoy having sex with strangers. I don't think people giving money away just because they feel like it is as common.

    Still: Do you really think that it's preferable to not advise people against making themselves vulnerable, than to advise them and then having them risk not being believed?
    Unless I'm mistaken, in general it would be preferable to avoid some rapes while some that happened will go unpunished, than avoid none and have more of them punished. Is that wrong?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whowhere wrote: »
    I
    Katralla is of the opinion that despite being paraletic she would still be in complete control, no matter what the situation. She's of the opinion that it's a person's right to get absolutely wasted, regardless of conscequences and fails to see how alcohol could be a contributory factor, despite evidence to the contrary.

    don't lie.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I had written a long response based on my own experiences, but I'd rather not make it public. Short story: had I known there were authorities telling me to protect myself and not make myself vulnerable, I probably would have kept what had happened between me and a peer to myself and not bothered telling my friends and subsequently teachers. Given the outcome, it probably would have been better not to.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If there are rape lessons, ie warning girls not to drink or make themselves vulnerable, and a girl still does get drunk and is raped, would there be an "I told you so" opinion and that because she was warned and didn't listen then that it is in some way her own fault?
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    go_away wrote: »
    I had written a long response based on my own experiences, but I'd rather not make it public. Short story: had I known there were authorities telling me to protect myself and not make myself vulnerable, I probably would have kept what had happened between me and a peer to myself and not bothered telling my friends and subsequently teachers. Given the outcome, it probably would have been better not to.
    Sincerely sorry to hear... :( That still doesn't answer my point though, wihtout of course saying that how they treated your case was right.
    If there are rape lessons, ie warning girls not to drink or make themselves vulnerable, and a girl still does get drunk and is raped, would there be an "I told you so" opinion and that because she was warned and didn't listen then that it is in some way her own fault?
    Perhaps. But again: If they tell you not to leave your house unlocked while on holidays and then you come back and find your TV and computer stolen, wouldn't people say "I told you so" and think it was in some way your fault? It still wouldn't excuse the thief's actions.
    The difference between this scenario and rape is that there's little reason for someone could believe that you wanted your things stolen, while there's many reasons why you'd want to have sex with a stranger. It's still a matter of consent, but prevention is always important.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I still think that that is a different analogy, and I'm not really after an analogy anyway.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sincerely sorry to hear... :( That still doesn't answer my point though, wihtout of course saying that what happened in your case was right.

    Tis ok, happened a long time ago, I'm pretty much on an even keel nowadays, just about ;) I wasn't really addressing any points, more a case of me thinking out loud. But I'm trying to echo what KHSS said, it's kind of a silent way of saying, "If you didn't do x, y and z, why not?" Which is not what survivors need, they need a safe space, and support. I just don't think hearing things like that will make survivors come forward to get help, even if they have no intention of pressing charges.
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    It's quite simple: Take measures to prevent becoming a victim of something, or don't take measures and raise the chances that you will.

    The fact that people might use your drunkenness as an excuse to not convict a suspected rapist while they wouldn't do that if the crime was one of theft is a totally different problem, and shouldn't have a bearing on safety advice.
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    go_away wrote: »
    it's kind of a silent way of saying, "If you didn't do x, y and z, why not?" Which is not what survivors need, they need a safe space, and support.
    It's still the same way with theft, except for the psychological issues (and even then, different people get affected in different ways, so someone might be just as much an emotional wreck after being mugged that someone else would be after being raped). Anyone who says it's not the perpetrator's fault is absurd. But it's better to be safe than sorry, and people should keep that in mind.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm all for people being made aware of the dangers of drinking too much, putting yourself in dangerous situations (not that one necessarily causes the other but ykwim), but if it is done as an "official" thing, or a govt campaign or something then there really is the risk of women who have been raped in one of the situations that they have been warned against not being taken seriously and perhaps even blamed for the rape. Which isn't good. Can you see that?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd like to know why, whenever there's a discussion on rape does it turn into a discussion oon how women can protect themselves from violent stranger rape? This thread was started by a comment on the 'myth' of non-violent, non-stranger type rapes. This issue seems to be sidelined, as though it really were a myth and that where it does it exist there are no solutions to it. Perhaps because it is seen by others that there aren't any lessons girls can be tought on 'mythical' rape , and men don't need to learn any lessons as their behaviour is natural/can't be prevented, or the 'mythical' rape is not such a significant or terrible crime somehow.
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    katralla wrote: »
    I'd like to know why, whenever there's a discussion on rape does it turn into a discussion oon how women can protect themselves from violent stranger rape? This thread was started by a comment on the 'myth' of non-violent, non-stranger type rapes. This issue seems to be sidelined, as though it really were a myth and that where it does it exist there are no solutions to it. Perhaps because it is seen by others that there aren't any lessons girls can be tought on 'mythical' rape , and men don't need to learn any lessons as their behaviour is natural/can't be prevented, or the 'mythical' rape is not such a significant or terrible crime somehow.
    The thread is still about all ways that rape can be prevented. The only reason the last few pages have been about what women can do to prevent themselved being raped, is that some people started replying and seemingly saying that it's wrong to say they should do anything about it, so others began explaining why that is wrong.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If there are rape lessons, ie warning girls not to drink or make themselves vulnerable, and a girl still does get drunk and is raped, would there be an "I told you so" opinion and that because she was warned and didn't listen then that it is in some way her own fault?

    From who exactly, people will always have poor opinions but I don't think for one second that anybody here has advocated giving out such an opinion as it is clearly a wrong one.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You don't understand.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    I'd like to know why, whenever there's a discussion on rape does it turn into a discussion oon how women can protect themselves from violent stranger rape? This thread was started by a comment on the 'myth' of non-violent, non-stranger type rapes. This issue seems to be sidelined, as though it really were a myth and that where it does it exist there are no solutions to it. Perhaps because it is seen by others that there aren't any lessons girls can be tought on 'mythical' rape , and men don't need to learn any lessons as their behaviour is natural/can't be prevented, or the 'mythical' rape is not such a significant or terrible crime somehow.
    I think that has been sidelined a bit, but it can still be brought back again. I was addressing the idea of rape lessons for women, and why it's a bad idea, based on what other people have been saying above. I'm at a loss to think of ideas about how a woman could protect herself from rape by someone she knows etc. I do think that you are right in that men need to be educated to not rape. I'm not being anti men either. The men who wouldn't do it anyway have nothing to worry about do they? but hopefully the potential rapists would get the message.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BlackArab wrote: »
    From who exactly, people will always have poor opinions but I don't think for one second that anybody here has advocated giving out such an opinion as it is clearly a wrong one.
    I didn't mean anyone on here, I was thinking in a court situation and the rapist's (defendant? I don't know the terms) lawyer or the judge or the jury thinking that.
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    I'm all for people being made aware of the dangers of drinking too much, putting yourself in dangerous situations (not that one necessarily causes the other but ykwim), but if it is done as an "official" thing, or a govt campaign or something then there really is the risk of women who have been raped in one of the situations that they have been warned against not being taken seriously and perhaps even blamed for the rape. Which isn't good. Can you see that?
    That risk unfortunately exists, yes. But it doesn't excuse not doing what you can to prevent.

    Let's imagine two extremes:
    1)You can prevent most rapes, and have all the ones that happen go unpunished.
    2)You can not prevent any rapes, but all the ones that happen will be punished.

    Which of the two extremes do you think would be better for society as a whole?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BlackArab wrote: »
    From who exactly, people will always have poor opinions but I don't think for one second that anybody here has advocated giving out such an opinion as it is clearly a wrong one.

    People will always have poor opinions on what? People do HAVE that opinion though, an opinion I think is demonstrated in this thread.
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