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Homesickness

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm still awaiting the dreaded results but all I can think about is what happens when or IF i get them, how do I leave home. I'm very attached to my mum, my boyfriend is leaving to go travelling, and all my friends are staying home.

It sounds really pathetic and I spoke to some friends who have gone to uni, who said if i get upset that people will laugh at me and the last thing I want to do is scare people off before I've even spoken to any one.

I feel home sick (odd seeing as I haven't left yet), so much so that I think about not going before I've even got there, and if I have got in, then it's such a waste of a place especially as I've been so excited. It just seems such a distance as it is 4 hours away and I've never really been away for home, not longer than a week or two.

I spoke to my parents about bein worried about 6 months ago, and they said that it would get better. But it hasn't. Theres now 7 weeks to go before I leave and I don't know what to do.:confused:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know it's a cliche, but at uni everyone will be in the same boat. There will be other people who feel exactly the same as you. I'm in the same position, only I'm feeling kinda nervous/excited.

    You have to leave home at some point, or most people do, and one of the best ways to do it is along with a group of people doing exactly the same thing with the same worries. Just bite the bullet and go for it. You'd regret it so much I think if you got the grades, but passed up the chance to go to university. And there'll be so much to do when you get there, all stuff designed to take your mind off homesickness. And, failing all else, you can always come home at the weekends :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know it's a cliche, but at uni everyone will be in the same boat.

    Not really, I loved being away from home. Then again I've been spending longish periods away from my home since I was 12.

    It might get you down sometimes but just think about coming back on holidays, and ring back whenever you feel down. Though I bet you won't be too bad, when you get there and meet the new people, new places etc you'll hardly ever think about home. :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its just one of those things you've got to face sooner or later... if its not with going off to university, it will be with something else... you'll have to leave home at some point. your folks will only be at the end of a phone-line where ever you are anyway, and i guess you could always take trips home at the weekends and stuff :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i knew a lot of people who felt the same.
    unfortunately a lot of them let it get the better of them. they'd be goin home every time they could, always calling, never quite seperating themselves enough and its that that makes uni hard.

    throw yourself in there. give it your best shot. it all works out fine in the end.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Unlike many, I'm prepared to admit openly that I'm not looking forward to university. I'm dreading it, to be honest. My head is filled with questions, and it angers me when I am told not to worry, not to bother thinking ahead. Yep - it's not thinking ahead that's got me into trouble in the first place half the time! Right...
    dem18 wrote: »
    It sounds really pathetic and I spoke to some friends who have gone to uni, who said if i get upset that people will laugh at me and the last thing I want to do is scare people off before I've even spoken to any one.
    People will laugh at you? If that's the best that your friends at university can come up with, God help us. What nonsense. By far more likely a reaction is that they will think "oh, at last, someone else who thinks the same as me, and isn't just acting the confident one". We all know that half the people going to uni are shitting it - the other half are just pretending they aren't. It's a perfectly natural feeling.
    I spoke to my parents about being worried about 6 months ago, and they said that it would get better. But it hasn't. Theres now 7 weeks to go before I leave and I don't know what to do.:confused:
    I don't blame you in the slightest. When I went down to Bristol to start uni, (let's just say it didn't work out) I hated it. I hated the accommodation, I hated the city, I hated how far from home I was. I'm now starting again in Manchester, which is considerably closer to home. My parents have since admitted they hated me being so far away. They're not even very easy with my going to Manchester either.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    Unlike many, I'm prepared to admit openly that I'm not looking forward to university. I'm dreading it, to be honest. My head is filled with questions, and it angers me when I am told not to worry, not to bother thinking ahead.

    What's worrying you?
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    the other half are just pretending they aren't.

    Balls, I can imagine that being the case for someone going somewhere miles and miles away on their own. In a lot of cases though, people go to unis where they know people there and is relatively close to home. I was lucky enough to have one my good mates be my next door neighbour in halls by pure chance. :eek: :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yerascrote wrote: »
    What's worrying you?
    I wonder why you ask, let alone care. After all, this question is coming from a man who, less than 72 hours ago, said he was no longer taking my posts seriously.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    I wonder why you ask, let alone care. After all, this question is coming from a man who, less than 72 hours ago, said he was no longer taking my posts seriously.

    Only the one's in P&D mate.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yerascrote wrote: »
    Only the one's in P&D mate.
    Well, forgive me for being cynical. Regardless, I'm not answering the question, as this thread isn't about me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This may well sound a bit unsympathetic, I hope not.

    Basically as others have said, you have to leave home at some point - unless that is you want to become one of those freaks who live with their elderly parent and say things like 'Yes mother, I know, but that dress doesnt fit anymore'.

    So, knowing full well that it has to come, you have to move out and stand on your own two feet what better place to do this than uni? The answer of course is none, you will be surrounded by people, your days will be filled with this and that, and best of all you wont have to do stupid grown up things like working.

    Obviously though if you have never been away from home before it is going to be scary, I think the best policy to avoid this is to be prepared, know how to cook, how to shop for food, how to budget, how to wash clothes....etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hell, even if you don't know how to do any of those things before you go, you'll survive!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    budda wrote: »
    ...you will be surrounded by people, your days will be filled with this and that, and best of all you wont have to do stupid grown up things like working.
    Sounds like my worst nightmare, frankly.

    As for not having to work, aren't you being a tad naive? My understanding is that most students have to work in order to survive financially these days. Having done the maths, I'm almost certain that I will have to work. Indeed, getting a job is one of the first things I'll have to do. Currently, I work six days per week, (around 48 hours a week) and the student life of going to a couple of lectures, and having little to do for the rest of the day doesn't appeal to me. Will I be dismissed as a humourless, lifeless droid for saying it? Almost certainly. Does it bother me? Nope.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Dem,

    Heading off to uni can be a daunting prospect but its also going to be a lot of fun! It's totally normal to be nervous about moving away from home for the first time and leaving friends and family behind- as others have already mentioned you will meet many other students in the same situation who feel exactly how you feel. Living in university halls you will meet lots of new people and will make new friends I'm sure.

    I suggest you take a look at http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/ if you haven't already visited it. You will be able to find threads relating to how you are feeling and also talk with people who are heading to the same university that you are starting at. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    Sounds like my worst nightmare, frankly.

    As for not having to work, aren't you being a tad naive? My understanding is that most students have to work in order to survive financially these days. Having done the maths, I'm almost certain that I will have to work. Indeed, getting a job is one of the first things I'll have to do. Currently, I work six days per week, (around 48 hours a week) and the student life of going to a couple of lectures, and having little to do for the rest of the day doesn't appeal to me. Will I be dismissed as a humourless, lifeless droid for saying it? Almost certainly. Does it bother me? Nope.

    Yes, a large section of students do a bit of work on the side during term time and then during the holidays, but its far from the kind of thing you'll do after university.

    Basically put uni is a quasi-adult environment, you get to do adult things like looking after yourself, drinking, parties etc. but with little of the normal responsibilities of an adult - Enjoy it!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    budda wrote: »
    Yes, a large section of students do a bit of work on the side during term time and then during the holidays, but its far from the kind of thing you'll do after university.
    Afterwards? It's far from the kind of thing I'm doing before university! How I'm going to adjust to it, I have no idea. I like working this many hours.
    Basically put uni is a quasi-adult environment, you get to do adult things like looking after yourself, drinking, parties etc. but with little of the normal responsibilities of an adult - Enjoy it!
    Don't hold your breath.
  • JsTJsT TheSite Graduate Posts: 18,265 Incredible Poster
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    Afterwards? It's far from the kind of thing I'm doing before university! How I'm going to adjust to it, I have no idea. I like working this many hours. Don't hold your breath.

    If you hate the idea so much why are you going? Its a time to learn and enjoy yourself!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    Afterwards? It's far from the kind of thing I'm doing before university! How I'm going to adjust to it, I have no idea. I like working this many hours. Don't hold your breath.

    You like working long hours? ugh I can't stand it. I miss student days, I liked having free hours where I could do things like volunteering, see friends, wander about. When you work full time there is no time to do anything!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JsT wrote: »
    If you hate the idea so much why are you going? Its a time to learn and enjoy yourself!
    As I've said somewhere or other before, it's more about necessity. In the area I am in at the moment, there are few opportunities. Therefore, I have to get out of here. However, just starting a menial job in a city doesn't particularly appeal to me either. University is a much more appealing idea. A degree doesn't guarantee me a better job or career, but it will almost certainly help me. As for learning to enjoy myself, if you knew me better, you may not be saying that. Even though I work six days a week, there is still time for fun and games. I've got a couple of friends on the park (some of whom I work with, some not) whom I meet up with regularly. It's not that unusual to have me out and drunk on a Saturday evening.

    Katchika: Yep, I do like working the long hours. It certainly keeps me busy, and keeps my bank account looking healthy. Right now, I'm concentrating on filling up the coffers. If university is going to give me huge debts, I might as well do all I can to alleviate that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    silverhalo wrote: »
    I suggest you take a look at http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/ if you haven't already visited it. You will be able to find threads relating to how you are feeling and also talk with people who are heading to the same university that you are starting at. :)

    Also try here.

    My sister has made lots of friends by using that site :yes:.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote: »
    Also try here.
    My sister has made lots of friends by using that site :yes:.
    I've been a member on that site for only a few days, but already had two or three people talk to me on it. I've good things to say about The Student Room as well.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stargalaxy - just fucking enjoy it! Being a student for the varst majority of people who go to uni is pretty much the best time of their life, next to no responsibilities and loads of new people and experiences.

    You're lucky to be able to go, act like it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    budda wrote: »
    Stargalaxy - just fucking enjoy it... You're lucky to be able to go, act like it.
    Why am I lucky? Universities nowadays can hardly be described as only admitting the elite. I was only taken on to add up the numbers. More 'mature students' means more money for universities under the rigged government funding system. Nobody could seriously believe I've got intelligence, talent or potential.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    Why am I lucky? Universities nowadays can hardly be described as only admitting the elite. I was only taken on to add up the numbers. More 'mature students' means more money for universities under the rigged government funding system. Nobody could seriously believe I've got intelligence, talent or potential.

    Stop talking shit mate. Seriously, you haven't a clue what you're on about.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    Why am I lucky? Universities nowadays can hardly be described as only admitting the elite. I was only taken on to add up the numbers. More 'mature students' means more money for universities under the rigged government funding system. Nobody could seriously believe I've got intelligence, talent or potential.

    Well go and be a miserable arse then. What do you actually want? Uni is a great opportunity, you either want to take advantage or you dont. We certainly cant force you to enjoy it or take part - I can only stress that if you're going to go you might as well enjoy it.
  • JsTJsT TheSite Graduate Posts: 18,265 Incredible Poster
    budda wrote: »
    Well go and be a miserable arse then. What do you actually want? Uni is a great opportunity, you either want to take advantage or you dont. We certainly cant force you to enjoy it or take part - I can only stress that if you're going to go you might as well enjoy it.
    Well said that man!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    budda wrote: »
    Well go and be a miserable arse then. What do you actually want? Uni is a great opportunity, you either want to take advantage or you dont. We certainly cant force you to enjoy it or take part - I can only stress that if you're going to go you might as well enjoy it.
    I agree. Although I'm not hugely excited about it, I might as well try to make the best of it. I'm not quite as downbeat about it as I've made out here - I've just had a bloody miserable week at work, that's all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    budda wrote: »
    Well go and be a miserable arse then. What do you actually want? Uni is a great opportunity, you either want to take advantage or you dont. We certainly cant force you to enjoy it or take part - I can only stress that if you're going to go you might as well enjoy it.

    lol so true.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    I agree. Although I'm not hugely excited about it, I might as well try to make the best of it. I'm not quite as downbeat about it as I've made out here - I've just had a bloody miserable week at work, that's all.

    Whether you accept it or not you are lucky to go to uni, its a great way to spend three years - I hope you realise that before you mentally crap all over something you've no experience of.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    Why am I lucky? Universities nowadays can hardly be described as only admitting the elite. I was only taken on to add up the numbers. More 'mature students' means more money for universities under the rigged government funding system. Nobody could seriously believe I've got intelligence, talent or potential.

    In all seriousness I was only let onto my course because I was a girl wanting to do engineering but I prooved that I deserved to be there through hard work.

    I hated uni when I first went but I refused to give up and after Christmas I made some great friends and started to really enjoy myself and for the rest of the 4 years it was fantastic. You just have to be prepared to stick it out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Asta wrote: »
    I hated uni when I first went but I refused to give up and after Christmas I made some great friends and started to really enjoy myself and for the rest of the 4 years it was fantastic. You just have to be prepared to stick it out.
    Put it this way. I wouldn't be surprised if, in a couple of months now, when asked whether I'm enjoying university, that my reply would be "You know, I don't know what I was fussing about all those months ago. It's actually pretty good here.".
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