If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Best Of
Re: Cinema Inspiriation
There's a few strong choices in cinemas at the moment - Challengers was a great watch; the new Planet of the Apes was awesome to watch, as was Furiosa; and Inside Out 2 was decent but not as impressive as the others. I'd recommend one of the first three, depending on what kind of films you like to watch 
Azziman
2
Re: I was so young when it happened (TRIGGER WARNING FOR TECHNICAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE)
You have done really well to tell us @Anonymous55, it shows a lot of courage.
Your safety and boundaries are really important and deserve to have always been taken into account. You do not deserve to have been treated the way you have been. You have been really brave to share with us what you really have been through and felt like.
How do you cope with the flashes, suicidal thoughts and depressive thoughts currently? As you have highlighted, these things can stay with us a lot longer than the time they occur over. When do you think you might be able to move out - do you have a plan for moving out yet?
Your safety and boundaries are really important and deserve to have always been taken into account. You do not deserve to have been treated the way you have been. You have been really brave to share with us what you really have been through and felt like.
How do you cope with the flashes, suicidal thoughts and depressive thoughts currently? As you have highlighted, these things can stay with us a lot longer than the time they occur over. When do you think you might be able to move out - do you have a plan for moving out yet?
Re: I was so young when it happened (TRIGGER WARNING FOR TECHNICAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE)
It's so brave of you to have shared all of this with us @Anonymous55. You don't deserve to have been treated this way and it's not irrational to have been upset by this experience.
^This is so well articulated @Anonymous55 - really. Oftentimes, it is the people closest to us that can hurt us the most. Your feelings here are 100% valid. You can simultaneously feel love for your mum and remember the moments where she did care for you, whilst also acknowledging the times where you felt unsafe and scared. Familial relationships can be complex but just because someone is family doesn't mean they can't hurt us.
It sounds like from what you've shared that your mum has gotten better at controlling her temper and feels some shame and hurt from what happened. But this doesn't take your feelings away and you deserve to have those acknowledged and spoken about.
Are you receiving any support for those times when you do experience flashbacks, depression and suicidal thoughts wrapped up in panic or burnout? It might be worth exploring what support is out there, such as therapy, to talk through some of these things in more depth and work through some of those emotions.
Remember that if you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, there are lots of lovely services you can reach out to for support. You're not alone:
Anonymous55 wrote: »But what she did betrayed the unconditional love I was willing to give. She was supposed to protect me, and she didn't. So I love her, but I want out. As soon as I can, I want my own home where none of the people who are supposed to protect me can hurt me again. Yes, I'm a child. Yes, she looks after me. Yes, I feel safe most of the time. But I can remember hiding behind that sofa.
^This is so well articulated @Anonymous55 - really. Oftentimes, it is the people closest to us that can hurt us the most. Your feelings here are 100% valid. You can simultaneously feel love for your mum and remember the moments where she did care for you, whilst also acknowledging the times where you felt unsafe and scared. Familial relationships can be complex but just because someone is family doesn't mean they can't hurt us.
It sounds like from what you've shared that your mum has gotten better at controlling her temper and feels some shame and hurt from what happened. But this doesn't take your feelings away and you deserve to have those acknowledged and spoken about.
Are you receiving any support for those times when you do experience flashbacks, depression and suicidal thoughts wrapped up in panic or burnout? It might be worth exploring what support is out there, such as therapy, to talk through some of these things in more depth and work through some of those emotions.
Remember that if you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, there are lots of lovely services you can reach out to for support. You're not alone:
*If you need urgent help or have any concerns for your health or safety, the quickest way to get help is to call 999 or go to your nearest A&E.
*Local urgent mental health helpline | Open 24/7 | Find details about your local service here.
*Crisis Messenger - Our crisis messenger text service provides free, 24/7 crisis support across the UK. If you’re aged 25 or under, you can text THEMIX to 85258.
*Papyrus - If you are having thoughts of suicide, you can contact HOPELINEUK for confidential support and practical advice. You can call them on 0800 068 4141 or text them on 07786209697.
*Samaritans are reachable by phone and email 24/7. Whatever you're going through, you can call them any time, from any phone on 116 123.
*Local urgent mental health helpline | Open 24/7 | Find details about your local service here.
*Crisis Messenger - Our crisis messenger text service provides free, 24/7 crisis support across the UK. If you’re aged 25 or under, you can text THEMIX to 85258.
*Papyrus - If you are having thoughts of suicide, you can contact HOPELINEUK for confidential support and practical advice. You can call them on 0800 068 4141 or text them on 07786209697.
*Samaritans are reachable by phone and email 24/7. Whatever you're going through, you can call them any time, from any phone on 116 123.
Gemma
1
Re: I was so young when it happened (TRIGGER WARNING FOR TECHNICAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE)
@Anonymous55 - I just wanted to echo what Laura and Gemma have said above and say I also think you're really brave for feeling you can speak out about it on here and that you're feelings are completely valid. It's good to hear you have some support from the school counsellor (even if she doesn't know the full story) and that it's helping you with things. Also remember you can always come to us on here if you need a place to talk - we're all here to listen and give advice.
Sending you big hugs
Sinead
Sending you big hugs
Sinead
Re: Its all too much
Hey @JJLemon18, just wanted to drop by and say well done for completing uni for now - I know you have resits coming up, but hope that you get to enjoy some well-earned rest and time off between now and then! Also good to hear that you spoke to your GP and they've provided some guidance - I know a few others who have felt that going down the diagnosis path helped them to feel less like an impostor with their neurodiversity. That being said, I should say - not having a diagnosis doesn't invalidate your feelings If you decide to go down the diagnosis route, then that's fine; and if you decide not to, then that's alright too!
If you decide to go down the diagnosis route, then that's fine; and if you decide not to, then that's alright too! Azziman
2
Re: Its all too much
@JJLemon18 hah don't worry about the response! Glad to hear u went to see ur GP ye i get what u mean some of them tend to be a bit odd but as long as they're helping u and u feel comfortable with them. Hopefully u get the diagnosis u want, as i know it can rrly help u to understand why u feel how u do and it can be very reassuring! Glad to hear about u finishing uni, i've just finished for summer too wooo, serious well done for u completing it, i understand how stressful it can be, and i'm sure u did better than u think u did, we rrly are our own biggest critics!
