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Hey @LowTrekker

First of all welcome to The Mix, it's a pleasure to meet you, and thank you so much for sharing what you're going through right now. I honestly think that red flags will change from person to person, and you should feel comfortable about what is being discussed whatever person you're speaking to. If this is a concern for you, or makes you feel uncomfortable, then maybe this is a so called red flag personally for you, and that's more than okay. I know we can feel pressured from society to be in a relationship that lasts by a certain age or have your life mapped out but you're still very young, and your journey and pace will be different to someone else and that is perfectly okay!

Also, I again think that casual status of relationships is something that varies greatly from one person to the next, so your definition of casual relationships is probably different to theirs. If you're worried or feel unsure, if you feel comfortable, it may be helpful to speak to them about what they think a casual relationship entails and see if it is in line with what you're looking for right now. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve to be involved in something that makes you happy and is within your boundaries and comfort. Some people may see casual relationships as friends with benefits, meaning they want to be your friend too and get to know you, whereas others may see it more as just sexual relations with someone they know and that's it.So it may be important to find out what their idea of this is for your own benefit.

As far as I'm aware serious relationships tend to be something where you get to know the other person (or people) in more depth, build a strong connection and have a longer term plan of staying together. Of course, this will probably vary from one relationship to the next. I hope this is helpful and thank you for reaching out! We're always here if you ever need anything

Hey everyone,

Family relationships can be difficult and it's important to remember that you have the right to set boundaries with whatever behaviour upsets you. I thought I'd start up a thread for everyone to share their advice for someone struggling with a difficult family relationship.

Comment below any advice you have

Hey @ellie2000 - as others have said, it is probably worth seeking medical advice on this, it shouldn't be the case that problems like this persist. There is some info on the article here that speaks to this, in particular it says:

Will I be incontinent?
One of the biggest fears is that you’ll damage your arse muscles and constantly leak poo like a drippy tap. Not true. “The sphincters are muscles that can relax and be tightened up, and 80% of your continence (control over when you poo) is controlled by a muscle called the pubo-sling, which isn’t stretched when you’re having sex,” says Barrie.

As Laura said, if you give your GP practice a ring, they should be able to tell you if they are taking in person appointments at the moment, it may be that they have to work out whether they need to see you physically or whether they can diagnose over the phone.

It's not clear from your posts whether or not you wanted this person to have sex with you or not. Please don't feel like you need to share this with us if you don't want to, however if you didn't want it to happen, or for him to have sex with you in the way he did, then there are places that can support with that who may be experienced in the kind of issues you are having. They are called sexual assault referral centres, and you can find your local one here.

You're right that recovery can take time, and we are all here to support you if you would like to talk anything through

@AislingDM Yes I agree I have messaged him about it he hasn’t responded yet and I can’t sleep the phone cut off we normally sleep on call 🥺I think we are really close and it’s just my mom ruining stuff x