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Leyla wrote: »

@Redemption Good luck for your interview! You can only do your best

Thank you so much ❤️ Leyla

@Redemption Good luck for your interview! You can only do your best

Leyla wrote: »

Hey @Lottie5433 , no-one here thinks you're a failure, we know you're doing your absolute best and that is enough. But I appreciate how soul-crushing it can feel to feel like you aren't succeeding no matter how you try. Can we clarify what you think you're going to give up with now?

Thank you but I am a failure in failing everything
I think I’m ready to just give up on life really there isn’t much point to it

I fell off the balancing beam and it hurt 🫠

@DonnerKebab just to check am I bothering you?

hugs to everyone who is going through a difficult time.

I know this probably isn't the place to do this, but I feel way more secure being putting it here then i would if i were just write it on my notes or in a notebook or a letter. You don't have to read them, I just want to put my thoughts down to give my mind some space for other awful things.

My brother was one of the funniest, kindest, and most adventurous person I have ever known. He had this way of just making life feel so much lighter then it actually was. No matter how tough things got he made it so there was always room for a laugh or a new adventure.

One of my favourite memories with him was the very first time I took him out for his birthday. Nobody has ever taken him out for his birthday before, and I still remember that day clearly, the way his excitement and shock was expressed, it was like he could not quite believe it was all for him. He laughed so much louder that night, and the way he expressed to me how he finally felt seen and celebrated, that memorie will stay with me forever.

That was the kind of person he was, he was someone who deserved to be celebrated every single day. His sense of humour could lift the heaviest mood, his kindness made people feel at home instantly, and his adventurous spirit reminded me not to take life for granted. He was not afraid to try new things, or to dive into the unknown. And he always wanted to bring me along for the adventure.

I miss him more then words will ever say, but I hold onto those moments, the laughter, the adventures, and that birthday night when he finally got to see and know how special he truly was. I will keep celebrating him in little ways and big ways for the rest of my life. And that's my promise to him.

I miss you bud.
You touched my heart, your soul was full of kindness and you didn't deserve to have such a short time on earth. You will be forever missed by me.

I’ve been feeling a bit nervous about my upcoming interview, even though I’ve been using ChatGPT to practice. I recently went to a practice session where they showed me a tool I could use, but I’m nervous about using it because it records my face and voice. The practice has been going okay. I tried asking for harsh feedback to improve, but I think I just need to be fair with myself, not sugarcoating things but not being overly harsh either. I’m just anxious about the interview itself and the outcome. I went to a jobs club where a guy from a recruitment agency was there, and I told him what I wanted to do. I’ve also been feeling lonely with all of this and in general, and I wish I had a girlfriend because I don’t like being single. I’m trying to stay positive and not be too hard on myself if things don’t work out, while still doing my best.

I am so messed up at the moment. I'm not doing that well at all.

I am also not well at the moment either which is horrible, I was perfectly fine this morning, I went out and did some training, and then went to the funeral and then I just randomly felt unwell, felt sick and everything and so I walked out of the service which I feel really bad about and I just went home, i got home and yeah it basically wasn't good at all. In all fairness, I don't actually believe I am ill, I think it is probably just my anxiety being really bad but I am just not sure as it had never been bad to the point where I am sick like today.

I have cancelled the sessions for the kids that were meant to have sessions tomorrow which I feel awful about too.