Best Of

@Lottie5433 sorry for the late reply. That sounds like a really difficult night and it's understandable you feel exhausted now. It sounds really hard to deal with, and you're so brave for keeping on going and getting through each day. I know that can be hard sometimes, especially when the panic arrives like that. I truly hope you're able to get a little more rest tonight, and please take care of yourself. You matter so much to the people around you, and to this community, and we're all here for you if you need someone to listen. Sending virtual hugs

I might have to go to this football get together and I don’t really want to go

Hi @Redemption it really sounds like you tried your best and left your comfort zone, that's a great accomplishment! It sounds like you weren't given enough time to get confortable with the tills, that must be frustating, but it's great that you gave it a shot. As @Ech0 said, the right thing for you will find you! That's a great way to put it. If anything comes to mind that you are thinking of doing that may be more suitable, we would love to know!

Nemuritai wrote: »

Lottie5433 wrote: »

I can’t sleep right now, and I’m just crying and feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack. I hate myself for this right now

Hey @Lottie5433, I just wanted to check in. I'm sorry to hear about last night, that sounds really upsetting. How are feeling today? We're here for you

Hi @Nemuritai , last night was upsetting didn’t sleep for ages and was up most of the night. Today I’m just feeling exhausted and like I kinda want to push my bf away, he thinks something is up but I can’t talk about what’s wrong with me with anyone

Sian321 wrote: »

Hey @Lottie5433 , how are you doing this morning? It sounds like it might have been a really difficult night. What was happening for you? We're here to listen if you'd feel comfortable sharing.

Hi @Sian321 , I’m not great this morning, I’m exhausted and tired, don’t really want to eat or do anything and then there are some not helpful thoughts etc. I’m not sure what was happening really, I went to bed fine woke up at like 12:30ish to find my bf wasn’t next to me - which I guess scared me. Turns out he was sleeping on the sofa but I don’t know what it was I just couldn’t cope with the fact he wasn’t with me. So I tried going back to sleep but like I couldn’t instead I cried and had a panic attack (not helpful when my asthma is not great either) then I couldn’t cope and started hitting myself on the head because that was the only thing that seemed to help everything. I thought playing a game or watching TikTok would help but it didn’t. So just sat crying until I fell asleep at like 3am and then woke up in a panic at 5/6am and then woke up at 8am and got ready for the day.
I can just feel more panic coming on like my body is shaking and I can feel my heart beating and like I can feel everything in my body.
Sorry for the long message back, appreciate you and others checking in

@Nemuritai , you mentioned having a difficult week too - I wonder what that's looked like. Slowing down and giving yourself that grace sounds really positive. What's your favorite way to rest lately?

Hey @Lottie5433 , how are you doing this morning? It sounds like it might have been a really difficult night. What was happening for you? We're here to listen if you'd feel comfortable sharing.

Lottie5433 wrote: »

I can’t sleep right now, and I’m just crying and feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack. I hate myself for this right now

Hey @Lottie5433, I just wanted to check in. I'm sorry to hear about last night, that sounds really upsetting. How are feeling today? We're here for you

TW suicide
Goooooood morning! I have been actively planning on trying to kill myself around the time in a few months where my mumma's not around the house LOL I can't live with the fact that I keep internally spoling my relations with everyone around me. No matter how metacognitive I get -- trying to convince myself that these thoughts are completely wrong -- they still stay in my emotional tract and eat me up from the inside. Why, for the past few months, have I sporadically assumed every week that my best friend suddenly hates me for no reason? Why does that one side of me constantly try to hate or envy her for her optimism even when I couldn't love her any more than I already do??? I am literally deluded and the onus is totally on me unfortunately. It's all just the fault of my perception; the world around me is so beautiful and she's the nicest friend I've ever had and will probably ever have but I keep like a high maintenance dribbling BPD moron. I can't maintain friendships let alone relationships with anyone I basically live alone in my nasty fucking head every day

Thank you @Ech0 means a lot to hear those words right now. I wish I could feel anything you’ve just said but I can’t everything feels like it’s falling apart

I can’t sleep right now, and I’m just crying and feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack. I hate myself for this right now