If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. For Crisis Support (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Check out our JD Support Chats every Monday 8pm-9:30pm in partnership with the JD Foundation. They're focused around all things work, retail, fashion, sport and more.
Click here for more info!
Click here for more info!
Best Of
Happy Heavenly Birthday 🕊️
Dear Grandma,
It’s your birthday, you would have been 80 if you hadn’t been taken away from this world so soon 💔 I’ve been thinking about you so much today, and I wish more than anything that I could sit next to you and just talk like we used to. I miss you. I miss your love, your hugs, your soft silky hands and the way you made everything feel safe just by being there.
You were my safe person and my best friend. No one else has ever made me feel as seen, or as understood as you did. Sometimes I still catch myself wanting to tell you little things, It still pops into my head “I’m going to tell grandma when I see her” I just want to sit down with you and have one of our mini gossip sessions just like old times.
So much changed since you left and it never gets easier, I never stopped internally screaming and each day gets harder and harder, you’ve been an angel for 180 days 🥺 you were the only person to ask if I was comfortable with hugs and you were the only person I’d accept hugs from because they were always the kindest of hugs. I’d do anything for one last hug 😭
You never leave my mind, I always think about your grave, I wish I could just sit there for hours talking to you, I know It’s not the same as a proper conversation but maybe you listen to me when I speak to you.
Everyone is going up to the cemetery to see you: mum is taking auntie J to see you for the first time and I think I might go up too, then mum, grandad, the boys, aunty N and uncle J are going to, I think J’s new girlfriend will be there, she seems nice I suppose, I’m not sure I’ll go up then, you know how I feel about family gatherings but I will definitely go and see you that’s a promise 💕
In the evening, everyone is having a Chinese for dinner, your probably thinking no surprise there, I won’t have it though, it makes me feel uneasy
You always said you had a favourite hair style on me so I decided that tomorrow I will do that hairstyle for you and then if your looking over me then you can see it 💕
I miss you so much and I wish you were here but your the prettiest angel in the sky and always will be 💕
I found an old picture of us both from when I was younger, before you got too poorly to come to our house, I’ll put the picture below incase you can see it 💕
Here’s a video I made for your birthday to, I hope you like it https://streamable.com/44f4zk
Love you always
- H
It’s your birthday, you would have been 80 if you hadn’t been taken away from this world so soon 💔 I’ve been thinking about you so much today, and I wish more than anything that I could sit next to you and just talk like we used to. I miss you. I miss your love, your hugs, your soft silky hands and the way you made everything feel safe just by being there.
You were my safe person and my best friend. No one else has ever made me feel as seen, or as understood as you did. Sometimes I still catch myself wanting to tell you little things, It still pops into my head “I’m going to tell grandma when I see her” I just want to sit down with you and have one of our mini gossip sessions just like old times.
So much changed since you left and it never gets easier, I never stopped internally screaming and each day gets harder and harder, you’ve been an angel for 180 days 🥺 you were the only person to ask if I was comfortable with hugs and you were the only person I’d accept hugs from because they were always the kindest of hugs. I’d do anything for one last hug 😭
You never leave my mind, I always think about your grave, I wish I could just sit there for hours talking to you, I know It’s not the same as a proper conversation but maybe you listen to me when I speak to you.
Everyone is going up to the cemetery to see you: mum is taking auntie J to see you for the first time and I think I might go up too, then mum, grandad, the boys, aunty N and uncle J are going to, I think J’s new girlfriend will be there, she seems nice I suppose, I’m not sure I’ll go up then, you know how I feel about family gatherings but I will definitely go and see you that’s a promise 💕
In the evening, everyone is having a Chinese for dinner, your probably thinking no surprise there, I won’t have it though, it makes me feel uneasy
You always said you had a favourite hair style on me so I decided that tomorrow I will do that hairstyle for you and then if your looking over me then you can see it 💕
I miss you so much and I wish you were here but your the prettiest angel in the sky and always will be 💕
I found an old picture of us both from when I was younger, before you got too poorly to come to our house, I’ll put the picture below incase you can see it 💕
Here’s a video I made for your birthday to, I hope you like it https://streamable.com/44f4zk
Love you always
- H
River
13
Re: Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering stuff edition)
@River that's a good idea. Do whatever it is that you feel honours who she was to you. Nothing else matters. The normal expectations of what people normally do, does not matter. All that matters is the bond between you and her, and what you feel represents it best. For me, whiskey. Possibly boxing gloves if i can get some in a few days on the 5th anniversary (i'll explain at a later date but we called her "iron Mary Tyson" like "iron Mike Tyson" 😂). It doesn't matter how unorthodox. Just do you and her, and screw anybody else and what they think.
Re: Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering stuff edition)
Thank you @DonnerKebab 
i think I might also do a boards thread like a letter to her
i think I might also do a boards thread like a letter to her River
1
Re: Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering stuff edition)
@River Amazing stuff river. People tend to think that mourning should go a certain way, throw a flower and that's that, and you should just go with the crowd, like i assume your family is doing, but mourning in your own unique way, that's true love right there. For example, I usually pour out a glass of whiskey for my grandma and leave it where we scattered her ashes 5 years on. It was her all over. I'm glad you found your special way to honour and remember your grandma. That's the best way to remember there is.