Best Of

Thank you so much @shannon_164 and @Sian321 for your lovely comments I appreciate it a lot, I know I'm bothering people because I have told been told that directly but thank you anyways

May we ask, what was it like for you to have your parents react in that way?

It was very overwhelming especially with the thoughts and anxiety going on, but I couldn't do anything about it, it was just the way it went.

How did the appointment go today?

The morning before was horrible and I ended up being sick because I was so anxious, overwhelmed and felt unsafe but CAMHS told me that my parents didn't actually have to go when I called them in the morning, which is not what I was told before and different to what my parents were told as well so I went alone. The appointment was actually an urgent assessment - which I was not told!!!!! But the relief I felt after realising my parents didn't have to be involved completely numbed me out so she didn't really get a good perspective on things I think because I felt better than normal.

The appointment was actually went ok! CAMHS have lost alot all my forms though (again somehow) and wanted me to sign a bunch again. The only recent CAMHS contact were only casual conversations with people for a few minutes - except from when I got a visit from a social worker after Samaritans expressed safety concerns to them. After speaking a bit more about my CAMHS experience and her looking at my notes she said she can see that "CAMHS have failed you".

She said I might have ASD and was surprised no one at CAMHS told me. I'm not too sure after looking at the signs online, I think I only resonate a little with only a couple of them and not well enough to meet the criteria of ASD, but idk. I am glad however that I was told that is what they think, and it gives me a sense of understanding. I was told I should ask my GP for an assessment.

I still don't understand why CAMHS thinks I am doing fine in my exams, she brought up my universities I applied to and predicted grades and everyone uses that as an excuse to say I'm fine when I'm barely functioning. I told them I was failing because I couldn't even get through half the paper and she just said I'm doing that thing where you think you do bad but you are doing well. Whenever I have spoken to anyone from CAMHS this year they always bring up about doing "well". Doing badly in the exams upsets me enough as it is. 🫠

On the breach of confidentiality side they told them that I was experiencing suicidal thoughts and nothing else, which they already told them and weren't aware they previously broke confidentiality. So when they told me over the phone they had done it it I assumed they went in depth about it and self harm etc. because they said my parents had to go, I always forget my parents know because they don't care, like everyone in my life.

I also found out (same day) that the school counsellor has been relaying everything I've been saying to the school safeguarding person, and I was told by her that everything would be confidential unless she thought I said something which indicated I was at risk and that I would be told first 😢.

Thank you for responding earlier and have a nice day