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Best Of
helplines tw// mentions of suicidal thoughts
everyone always goes on n on about helplines and how i should reach out to them when im struggling. well i done that. i am struggling. i tried shout, lifeline & samaritans. the wall beside me has been a better support… of course i will still be in the wrong though as i always am, its always my fault.
shout - just wasn’t a very helpful conversation at all and i felt as if i was talking to a robot tbh, they seemed in a complete rush to try and end the convo:/
lifeline - with lifeline, you often speak to the same people so the person i spoke to tonight i’ve spoke to her several times before, and she is usually alright but tonight, she was so unhelpful. she advised me that because i have a job and i can drive myself to work my life is actually ok. i don’t think having a job and being able to drive eliminates all mental health struggles however…
samaritans - she blamed me for the call being unhelpful… she kept talking over me too which was really frustrating me. i said “i don’t know what i need / want. i’m really struggling and simply don’t want to be here anymore” and she then let out the biggest sigh ever. she was coming across so frustrated too. then she said i could phone back again if im actually struggling and i just said “you know what i give up. i’m done trying to ask for help because no one cares” and she just said “ok” and hung up.
is it any wonder people dont reach out…?
*i am safe right now and have no plans / intentions, i was just wanting to be listened to tonight*
shout - just wasn’t a very helpful conversation at all and i felt as if i was talking to a robot tbh, they seemed in a complete rush to try and end the convo:/
lifeline - with lifeline, you often speak to the same people so the person i spoke to tonight i’ve spoke to her several times before, and she is usually alright but tonight, she was so unhelpful. she advised me that because i have a job and i can drive myself to work my life is actually ok. i don’t think having a job and being able to drive eliminates all mental health struggles however…
samaritans - she blamed me for the call being unhelpful… she kept talking over me too which was really frustrating me. i said “i don’t know what i need / want. i’m really struggling and simply don’t want to be here anymore” and she then let out the biggest sigh ever. she was coming across so frustrated too. then she said i could phone back again if im actually struggling and i just said “you know what i give up. i’m done trying to ask for help because no one cares” and she just said “ok” and hung up.
is it any wonder people dont reach out…?
*i am safe right now and have no plans / intentions, i was just wanting to be listened to tonight*
Really humiliating when your family points and laugh at random people (TW: ableism)
They do it all the time when we’re out in public, and it makes me wanna hide away. I’m so sorry to everyone my family have pointed out to.
TW: Discrimination and ableism
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
TW: Discrimination and ableism
They’re like toddlers when they point at a disabled person and go “EEWWWW”
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
Re: i just found out my best friend has passed away. tw suicide
@Lottie5433 thankyou lottie i did my hardest for her but it wasnt enough but least i tried thankyou. 
thankyou for your beautiful words lottie and your kindness
@shannon_164 im sobbing at your reply. thankyou shannon for your beautiful words she was a beautiful soul and she still deserves to be here. but heaven open the gates for her to come through. i did my best for her and i failed but i tried. even when i was struggling myself.
@ella thankyou for your beautiful words they mean a lot to me in such a difficult time. i have found a helpline for ppl who have gone through what i have theyre open monday so im gonna msg them then. thankyou for your beautiful words again.
@TheNightmare thankyou for being kind it means a lot to me it rly does
thankyou all for your kind words im currently crying my eyes out and needing these kind words. it means a lot to my heart and soul that i have kind ppl to turn to. i will not keep this to myself and i will keep reaching out. thankyou all again
thankyou for your beautiful words lottie and your kindness @shannon_164 im sobbing at your reply. thankyou shannon for your beautiful words she was a beautiful soul and she still deserves to be here. but heaven open the gates for her to come through. i did my best for her and i failed but i tried. even when i was struggling myself.
@ella thankyou for your beautiful words they mean a lot to me in such a difficult time. i have found a helpline for ppl who have gone through what i have theyre open monday so im gonna msg them then. thankyou for your beautiful words again
.@TheNightmare thankyou for being kind it means a lot to me it rly does
thankyou all for your kind words im currently crying my eyes out and needing these kind words. it means a lot to my heart and soul that i have kind ppl to turn to. i will not keep this to myself and i will keep reaching out. thankyou all again
eylah
5
Re: Pressure getting to me
Thank you so much for all this @shannon_164 I dont know what I did to deserve someone as helpful as you, you're incredible words can't describe it. Same for you, I'm here for you no matter what.
Re: i just found out my best friend has passed away. tw suicide
take all the time you need @eylah
Re: i just found out my best friend has passed away. tw suicide
thankyou everyone i will reply in a bit im just rly struggling and trying to come to terms with this. thankyou again
eylah
3
Re: i just found out my best friend has passed away. tw suicide
hey @eylah 🙂
i am so so sorry. my heart is absolutely breaking for you. losing someone you love is already unbearable, but losing a best friend this way is something no one should ever have to go through. please don’t apologise for how you’re feeling, you’re grieving, and that pain is real and valid.
chloe was clearly such a special, beautiful soul, and i can hear how much she meant to you. the love and support you gave her mattered. you did everything you could, and i know you would have done anything to save her if you could have. but it’s important to remember, her pain was not your fault, and you were enough. none of this is on you. i know that might be impossible to believe right now though. you loved her, you were there for her, and that love was real.
i know nothing i say can take away this pain, but please don’t carry this alone. you don’t have to go through this by yourself. we are all here for you, always! please be gentle with yourself right now. chloe wouldn’t want you to blame yourself for this. you matter so much.
sending you all my love and the biggest hug eylah, you are not alone
i am so so sorry. my heart is absolutely breaking for you. losing someone you love is already unbearable, but losing a best friend this way is something no one should ever have to go through. please don’t apologise for how you’re feeling, you’re grieving, and that pain is real and valid.
chloe was clearly such a special, beautiful soul, and i can hear how much she meant to you. the love and support you gave her mattered. you did everything you could, and i know you would have done anything to save her if you could have. but it’s important to remember, her pain was not your fault, and you were enough. none of this is on you. i know that might be impossible to believe right now though. you loved her, you were there for her, and that love was real.
i know nothing i say can take away this pain, but please don’t carry this alone. you don’t have to go through this by yourself. we are all here for you, always! please be gentle with yourself right now. chloe wouldn’t want you to blame yourself for this. you matter so much.
sending you all my love and the biggest hug eylah, you are not alone