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Best Of
Feeling alone
I was going to talk about this on the chat thread but its rescheduled, I wanted to vent a bit today. I often feel a bit lonely, even though I have people in my life. My struggles, especially being at home during the day while searching for work, make me feel isolated and bored. I engage in online support communities in the evenings, which provide a place to talk about both my interests and challenges, but I still feel disconnected. I wake up early, around 6:30 or 7:00 AM, not because I have somewhere to go, but because I feel overwhelmed. It’s been difficult living like this long term, and even short term, the job search has been tough. I know many people go through similar struggles, whether looking for work part time, full time, or as students, but the issue is that my job search has lasted a long time, with setbacks along the way.
This has affected my self-confidence, making it a constant battle to feel positive. Even when I do make progress, uncertainty and repeated disappointments make it hard to stay motivated. I feel like I’m missing out on my prime years, which is why I want to get my life sorted and have some stability. Life can be challenging for everyone, with varying circumstances, but sometimes I feel like my journey is slower than most. I tend to dwell on the past, adding to my stress, but I’m trying to move forward and focus on improving.
This has affected my self-confidence, making it a constant battle to feel positive. Even when I do make progress, uncertainty and repeated disappointments make it hard to stay motivated. I feel like I’m missing out on my prime years, which is why I want to get my life sorted and have some stability. Life can be challenging for everyone, with varying circumstances, but sometimes I feel like my journey is slower than most. I tend to dwell on the past, adding to my stress, but I’m trying to move forward and focus on improving.
(Suicidal thoughts and body image) I wish my parents never gave birth to me
I hate my fucking body so much. I know that in the past, being underweight was the ideal look and heroine chic was in fashion. But nowadays, the modern standards for women is to be curvy and have big tits / ass.
My mom’s side of the family are all skinny and lack fat. I have that genetic as well but it doesn’t help that I’m flat chested, tall, no curves and can’t build glutes. I hate being tall and lanky.
If I was short and flat, I would have gotten away with it because men would think you’re cute and petite.
But because I’m tall and flat, I just appear manly.
Even when I got to the gym to grow glute muscles, I’m still unable to because of my poor genetics.
I hate my body.
My mom’s side of the family are all skinny and lack fat. I have that genetic as well but it doesn’t help that I’m flat chested, tall, no curves and can’t build glutes. I hate being tall and lanky.
If I was short and flat, I would have gotten away with it because men would think you’re cute and petite.
But because I’m tall and flat, I just appear manly.
Even when I got to the gym to grow glute muscles, I’m still unable to because of my poor genetics.
It sounds awful, but I wish my parents never had me because I’m stuck with bad genetics and no man will ever love me because of it.
I hate my body.
I just want to die.
Is this to long to share with her
Basically I have a 1010 word vent that I was going to share with Caroline but I’m scared it’s to long to give her
Rose113
1
FND
I’ve been diagnosed with FND March 3rd the last month and 2 weeks have been a rollercoaster it all started 6th of February I was in college my friend asked if I was okay and she was saying I keep zoning out and wasn’t responding to anyone i said just day dreaming probably so we brushed it off an hour later I was having a seizure and had multiple seizures and never fully gained consciousness so an ambulance was called before the ambulance arrived a first responder came few minutes later the ambulance arrived and they helped me into the wheelchair as i couldn’t feel my right leg I arrived at the hospital and had a brain scan called a CT scan that came back all clear I stayed in overnight and had a MRI scan and that came back all clear too the neurologist came to speak to me too I was discharged and sent for a outpatient EEG few weeks later I had an EEG and had multiple absent seizures then a few weeks ago I was in a absent seizure for 20minutes and then I started to have tonic clonic seizures whilst my mum was driving so she parked up and my auntie came as her son has seizures so she knows what to do my mum was all new to this and because the tonic clonic seizures where lasting for minutes and I wasn’t coming around my mum called an ambulance again the first responders came then a few minutes an ambulance we arrived at the hospital and I continued to have multiple tonic clonic seizures they decided to keep me in hospital until Monday because that’s when the EEG results were due they didn’t want to send me home because I was having 10 seizures every hour and I needed oxygen as I hold my breath during a seizure and they were lasting minutes the neurologist came to see me again on Monday afternoon my EEG results came back all clear meaning I don’t have epilepsy I have non epileptic seizures and they are caused by my FND due to my FND I’ve been having tics and I am in a wheelchair or using crutches crutches are more for getting around the house and in and out of cars the wheelchair Is for public places so I don’t have to be stuck in the house 24/7 but I don’t understand what’s going on with my legs I can walk with crutches but when I slowly put the crutches down and try to walk I can’t even move my foot or even a toe I just don’t understand but I do put a lot of weight onto my crutches I’m exhausted and I’ve never felt more alone, hurt and exhausted in my life and I never ever needed that certain person as much as I do now yes he was a prick but on his good days he made me laugh the most important he made me feel like the safest girl alive and with all of this going on I just need him not him because he can be horrible at times but I need that safe feeling again I miss his messages just telling me everything is going to be okay he’s got me but in reality he let go of me and went with a slag I’ve also lost a friend but I don’t want to be a friend with someone who try’s to make her condition out more worse and refuses to accept we have the same condition and she thinks I’m faking it because apparently we both can’t have it I’m just exhausted I don’t know how much more my body can take physically and how much my mind can take.
Re: My New Role!!
@sinead276 Hehe thank you I'm super excitedddd
@Amy22 I'm doing all good thank you,I hope the same is true for you!! I'm excited to see you and everyone else around more
@Amy22 I'm doing all good thank you,I hope the same is true for you!! I'm excited to see you and everyone else around more
.leyla26
2
Re: My New Role!!
Ahhh heeey @Chloe234 
So nice to see you and Nora again. We miss you over here but hope you are doing okay! We'll take care of Leyla hehe. Hugs 
So nice to see you and Nora again. We miss you over here but hope you are doing okay! We'll take care of Leyla hehe. Hugs 
ella
2
Re: Changes to the welfare system - how are you feeling?
Now for my personal take on it. A note about me. I’m a 22 year old woman who has been blind since birth. I also have depression among other mental health issues, which, I reckon, is partly related. I am in Scotland, so I receive the enhanced rate of adult disability payment (ADP) the Scottish version of PIP (though I was on PIP for a number of years before this). I also receive the limited capability for work and work related activity (LCWRA) element of universal credit, and have done since I was 18.
The government have stressed that anyone with a long term, incurable condition will be protected. This is likely to mean that I, personally, am not too heavily affected, but at the moment we don’t really know what those protections look like. Also, being in Scotland, we don’t know what it will look like for ADP, but the UC changes will apply to me.
To me it feels like disabled people and people with mental illnesses have become a target. We are seen as the problem, we are taking all the slack. When actually we are the ones that need that welfare support the most.
I broadly agree with welfare reform, in that I do think if people are able to work, they should be given support to do so. But we can’t forget that we live in a broken system, and unless that support is drastically improved, it will mean some disabled people are still trapped in the system with less financial security. Sure, there may well be less reassessments, but the freeze to UC in particular concerns me. People who are actively looking for work are going to be getting more money, whereas people who can’t work are getting less - punished as it were.
And heaven forbid you’re under 22 and disabled, the only support you’ll be able to get then is PIP, and they’re making PIP harder to get hold of (and trust me, it’s bloody hard to get hold of anyway).
The government have stressed that anyone with a long term, incurable condition will be protected. This is likely to mean that I, personally, am not too heavily affected, but at the moment we don’t really know what those protections look like. Also, being in Scotland, we don’t know what it will look like for ADP, but the UC changes will apply to me.
To me it feels like disabled people and people with mental illnesses have become a target. We are seen as the problem, we are taking all the slack. When actually we are the ones that need that welfare support the most.
I broadly agree with welfare reform, in that I do think if people are able to work, they should be given support to do so. But we can’t forget that we live in a broken system, and unless that support is drastically improved, it will mean some disabled people are still trapped in the system with less financial security. Sure, there may well be less reassessments, but the freeze to UC in particular concerns me. People who are actively looking for work are going to be getting more money, whereas people who can’t work are getting less - punished as it were.
And heaven forbid you’re under 22 and disabled, the only support you’ll be able to get then is PIP, and they’re making PIP harder to get hold of (and trust me, it’s bloody hard to get hold of anyway).
Changes to the welfare system - how are you feeling?
As this is a space for young people and some of these changes affect young people (namely under 22s no longer being able to claim the disability part of universal credit and changes to the PIP criteria) I figured it might be good to have a space to talk about how we’re feeling about these changes?
For anyone curious, the full BBC article is here: Benefits crackdown unveiled with aim to save £5bn a year by 2030 https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c89y30nel59o
The changes primarily affect disabled people and those with mental health issues, so how are you feeling about it all? Are you feeling worried? Angry? Or do you think it is the right thing to do?
To avoid pushing my own opinion, I’ll post it in the comments. I’m interested to hear how people feel about these changes. Interested to hear all opinions and thoughts. Note that, as it’s such a sensitive topic, please be respectful of everyone when discussing this as we’re all from different walks of life here
For anyone curious, the full BBC article is here: Benefits crackdown unveiled with aim to save £5bn a year by 2030 https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c89y30nel59o
The changes primarily affect disabled people and those with mental health issues, so how are you feeling about it all? Are you feeling worried? Angry? Or do you think it is the right thing to do?
To avoid pushing my own opinion, I’ll post it in the comments. I’m interested to hear how people feel about these changes. Interested to hear all opinions and thoughts. Note that, as it’s such a sensitive topic, please be respectful of everyone when discussing this as we’re all from different walks of life here
confused?
i just had a nap and woke up to a missed call, i listened to the voicemail they left and it was an occupational health advisor from work. i wasn’t expecting it at all and now im stressing about why they phoned me:/ idk what they really do tbh.
