Best Of

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Amy22 wrote: »

So it's my second week of my induction of my supported internship and I will be honest I did feel very tired yesterday. Also there's opportunities for me to be part of a the youth group omy inter ship and stuff. I mentioned it to my parents but I think they were worried about me getting burnt out and stuff. But I want to do things. I am learning coping strategies for it as well. I did get upset last night talking to them because I did realised I'm not as independent as I think I am or want to be. I hardly get up without my mum calling for me and doing breakfast. But today I literally forced myself to get up, do breakfast and tea, coffee for me, mum and dad. I feel like I'm so lazy and I don't do anything at all.

It's a whole new routine for me right now, new people, new workplace etc. Bur my tutor is great and supportive.

Sorry for my stupid rant I rarely rant on here.

@Amy22 sorry i'm a bit late responding to you. Nothing you said is stupid. Your entitled to vent and rant like everybody else is. You sound like your making enormous lifestyle changes right now, and i wanted to say that this is something you should be incredibly proud of. You've looked at your lack of independence and reliance on your parents, and you're taking active steps to get out of that cycle and into a more independent and positive lifestyle. That isn't easy at first, but once it becomes routine, it becomes a lot easier to do daily. And it takes a lot of courage to start to try and escape that safe and comfortable dependency.

You are right to be concerned about burnout. It's incredibly important to watch out for, so it's also vital that anything you do, you leave yourself enough time to be able to relax, chill out, and take a break at the end of every day. Giving yourself enough time for this is a must in the long term. You are doing a lot, and if you feel able to, and can guarantee you'll have a few hours a day of personal time still, then i think it's worth going for if your comfortable trying out those opportunities. And if it ever started to get to much, then you could look at maybe stepping back a bit.

That feeling of laziness is going to get better, the more your lifestyle changes for the better. We are all proud of the effort your putting in and the changes your making to your life. You should be too.

Hi

@Redemption thank you so much. Im exhausted like it's not just oh im tired like im mentally exhausted like the exhaustion that drags you down I literally came home from school layed down in bed and fell asleep i just woke up its half six and I have so much homework to do. During the summer my IT teacher was supposed to give us hwk during the summer but they didnt and I though oh well it must be bc its a BTEC turns out they just forgot to update the system so we got a piece of work yesterday something that mind you was supposed to be done in 10 hours but its due tmr and somehow it's our fault im gonna fucking kill myself. I haven't even started it I have to do like 4 summaries and these things called cornell notes tbh I might not even bother ill get a 0 but i have other work that takes priority

@Redemption I should be working right now but my brainnis not letting me and I feel guilty bc I shouldnt of slept i had time and now i have less time and im spiralling and my brain is just shutting down and im overstimulated and overwhelmed and I just want to go back to sleep

Hi @Jack25 , I just wanted to add a message here to say thank you so much for your trust in sharing this with us, and you're doing so well to talk about how you're feeling. I recognise that can take courage.

We're all here with you as a Community to listen and to be alongside you at this very tough time. We're thinking of you on results day today, and no matter what happens, you deserve to not have to face any of this alone.

Hey @Jack25 I'm thinking of you today on results day. No matter what your results are, they don't define you. You're so much more than grades. We'll be running a special Support Chat today for A-Level results day 3pm-4:30pm if you'd like to come along? There's no pressure to share what results you got, but we'll be there to listen to how you're feeling and support you. You're not alone today Jack - we're here!

I hear you feel guilty when posting or talking about your mental health and I wonder where that guilt is coming from? Is there anything in particular that makes you feel like you shouldn't be talking about it?

Nothing is really helping me feel very safe honestly, but I'm just trying to get through each day finding something to occupy my time, nothing helps distract me from the thoughts anymore, and I can't seem to disappear enough to stop being problematic.

It sounds like there isn't anything specific helping you to keep safe and you're putting all of your energy into trying to get through each day. I can imagine this being really emotionally and physically exhausting and like you can't think about anything else. I wonder if there's anything preventing you from acting on your thoughts if you feel comfortable sharing? I'm also wondering what you mean about being problematic?

I told CAMHS about how I was struggling to cope but the psychiatrist made me out to be a problem and raised her voice. There's no point in telling them because they won't do anything anyways because "my safety is my responsibility", and they never offer any support, I'm safe though!

I'm sorry to hear you don't feel listened to with CAMHS when you share how you're feeling or what your thoughts are around university. You deserve to feel listened to and supported. Have you tried any other support organisations? I know I popped some above but I can find some more specific ones if that would feel helpful for you? If you let me know what kind of support you would prefer (like in person, on the phone, webchat, counselling etc.) I can take a look.

I will have to wait for my results but im very stuck, because i can't tell if im just projecting my negative thoughts and beliefs into the future, which I think I do alot which consequentially means I won't pick uni, or whether it's justified, and following my passions could be motivating?

I hear you Jack and this does sound like a little bit of a confusing situation to be in. It sounds like maybe because you're already expecting the worst, you've already crossed off the option of university. We don't really know what the future holds and I appreciate being optimistic about it can put us in a really vulnerable position in case we're wrong. I know a lot of universities offer really great wellbeing support so if you do decide you want to take the university route, I'd definitely recommend researching what kind of support they can offer. There's also the option of Open University which you can do from home and can also do part-time.

Because my headspace makes me not want to do anything other than things I know I shouldn't, so I don't know if I'm being rational or if I'm letting my negative thoughts get the best of me. I don't know if I'm overthinking or if this is the most self-aware I've been all year!! (it's very hard to make a decision when my suicidal thoughts are so persistent, I tried to remove all of them in this comment so it's not repetitive to read)

This is a really interesting point and based on what you've shared Jack you do sound pretty self-aware. I wonder if your negative and suicidal thoughts are kind of putting a dark cloud over your self-awareness so it's tricky to see through the fog? How are you finding this conversation so far?


Now that I assume you may have your results, how are you feeling? There's no pressure to share what you got, but we're here to chat about whatever you feel comfortable sharing.

Im really sorry for being a burden bit I'm really struggling i feel like i cant breathe. I'd really appreciate if anyone has time to talk

eylah wrote: »

just checking in. do you feel safe rn @Lottie5433 and do you feel safe from when you say you sh this morning? i hope you’re ok ( as best as you can be rn ) and im here for you.

I feel somewhat safe but I’ll manage. The sh is fine just sore and the fact I want to do it more. Trying to get by.
Thank you
How are you @eylah