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Redemption wrote: »

toffuna101 wrote: »

is it just me or did google chrome get an update? anyone use google chrome?

Ive not noticed anything, I checked but can't see much difference, I mostly use Samsung Internet

then its probably mainly on a desktop computer

DonnerKebab wrote: »

Redemption wrote: »

Im struggling

@Redemption hey mate, i'm here to talk and listen a bit if you want.

@DonnerKebab its just my situation Im struggling with, I feel so behind, Ive been offered 2 different courses and im not sure which 1 to do. I saw 1 today and starting another 1 tomorrow and I want to do what's most likely to get me into work, its tough. I hate being out work and we aren't too far from Christmas which is another year Ive failed again. I shouldn't have been born but I'm here now, its too late Ive just got be the best version of myself.

is it just me or did google chrome get an update? anyone use google chrome?

Im struggling

Thank you, I appreciate it mate. I'm okay though.

@DonnerKebab
Thank you mate, I appreciate it.

No, nobody has offered me any support through this but I'm alright honestly.
I don't have anyone to even support me anyway.

Not long ago I lost my brother, that was hard, and even the funeral was awful, I was the only blood family left that he even had. I planned his funeral and everything. I was the one doing all the meetings and phone calls. It was rough and then now I am doing it all again for my fiancé, it's just a lot for a short amount of time.

Just having to do these phone calls are so different as everything is still so fresh in my mind, having to talk about the service to people and what I want the service to look like, and going with what my fiancé wanted.

To be honest, I Don't really want anything to do with the hospital right now.

I am very much religious, even if our relationship was 'against' the religion.

It's just really upsetting, I mean we never even got to have our full relationship, we never got to have the wedding she wanted.
She was really all I had left and now she is gone. And I was all she had too.

Another day full of phone calls and appointments. Can't deal with this crap.

Cutelivejazz wrote: »

@DonnerKebab this might sound weird but like sometimes I miss my maths teacher. Like yeah he was a messed up person but he was also a trusted adult maybe not the best place to put my trust but he did a lot to help me and I think if it weren't for him my mental health would be a lot worse than it is now. All that being said he is a disgusting person and the lowest of the low but I miss th version of him I knew and saw. Lately ive been having the nightmares abt him again. Idk I just wish I had the support he used to give idk is that messed up?

@Cutelivejazz it's understandable feeling that way. The version of him you knew, who helped you through the hard times, who meant such a lot to you, who was real to you, is hard to reconcile with the version of him he truly was beneath the surface. It is not messed up of you to want that kind of support you used to have, and to want that version of him who you thought he was, present but knowing what we know now, there's a whole other side to him that was truly monsterous, and he simply isn't safe to be around. Longing for a safe person and safe place, and a support system, when you don't really have any anymore is normal and not messed up. It just can't be that math teacher knowing what we know now. You're sixth form should be providing at least some kind of support staff who you can go to for that all.

@DonnerKebab im just going to head to bed bc if I stay up I'll be exhausted in the morning and thats that last thing I need. Good night. If you want to say anything please do I'll read/respond to it in the morning