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@DonnerKebab
I really appreciate that mate.

My head has just been really messed up with everything at the moment, and knowing I have nobody I can go to about anything, it's been that way for ages so I have been so used to just getting by on my own and keeping things to myself and showing up for others even if I am living through what feels like hell.
So opening up on here and stuff is just a really new thing to me as I have never been able to speak about anything at all before.

@DonnerKebab
I appreciate it so much mate, but honestly I do have to bottle everything up, I can't be sharing this crap.
It's my life, so it's my crap to deal with, I can't be weighing it onto other people as that isn't right.

And I have a job to do, I can't be having all these problems when I am meant to be showing up for people.

@DonnerKebab
I appreciate it mate, thank you.

@DonnerKebab
Appreciate it mate,
I will shut up now, sorry.

I actually went to My fiancé's house this morning to try and sort through some more stuff while doing some phone calls and yeah I had to leave soon after as I just couldn't cope. I just burst into tears.

I was literally questioned when sorting my brother's funeral as we were not blood related. Like dude I am the only family this kid had left, I am the only one left to organise it. So having arguments with people trying to sort my fiancé's funeral out is also bringing back the fact my brother is no longer with me which isn't helping.

@DonnerKebab
Yeah I was thinking of doing that to be fair. I may have a look and go down there.
But I do actually need to get my passport sorted out anyways as I will need it to get to Romania for the funeral service anyway.

Appreciate it @Redemption

So yeah I am having to support them the best I can right now, while still grieving the 3 recent losses, my brother, my fiancé, and my friend. As well as so much other crap that I really don't want to talk about right now.

I mean like I have someone in hospital who has just been diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer, not going to go into details but they are only 2 years old for heavens sake.