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Best Of
The role of support group moderators
Hey everyone,
We wanted to take a moment to clarify the role of our support group moderators as we've noticed there's been a shift in how support groups are being used and the expectations of our moderators. So let's talk about what their roles are and what you can expect from our support groups here at The Mix
.
Why do we have support group moderators?
When our support groups first started, they were designed as a space for everyone to hang out and chat with each other, with moderators there to ensure everyone was being respectful, following guidelines, and feeling safe. While moderators were there to support and ensure everyone felt heard, their main role wasn’t to provide direct support. Fast forward to now, things seem a bit different as there's a lot of expectation on our moderators to be there more as supporters that anything else.
This has shifted the dynamic in a couple of ways by leading to more 1-2-1 interactions rather than group discussions, when ideally, it should be everyone talking to and supporting one another. This shift also means a lot of the support comes from a moderator rather than from members sharing openly from personal experiences. Our support groups are set up to be a peer support space and we believe the most valuable and genuine support comes from you all.
Shifting back to a peer support space
We'll be shifting things slightly to help support groups return to their purpose of being a group support space, moving away from the high levels of 1-2-1 support currently provided by the moderators.
Moderators will continue to get involved in discussions when they need to, but you will see them take a bit more of a step back to give you all more opportunities to support each other.
How can you help?
To make this shift happen, we need your help!
We'd like everyone to come to chat ready to support each other and generally chat to other members of the group. A lot of you already do this, which is amazing - you're perfectly positioned to lead this change with us!
If you're unsure what to say in chat, scroll up in the chat conversation and see if you can help someone out. Maybe someone reaching out and hasn’t been heard yet so you could say hello and offer a kind word. If a newcomer joins, make them feel welcome and help them get started. Think about how you felt when you first joined chat and what helped you feel comfy reaching out for support for the first time.
Remember, you don't always need to provide in-depth support to be helpful to someone. Just letting someone know they're being heard and that someone cares can have a huge impact - you might have felt this yourself.
What if I can't support other people?
It's completely okay if you're not able to support someone else or prefer to mute people to manage any triggers you have in the sessions. The moderators will still be there to help out.
Do keep in mind the 'group' aspect of support groups. If you're looking for more direct, 1-2-1 support, you may find services such as Childline, Calm, Crisis Messenger, Samaritans or Papyrus can offer the support you're looking for.
We'll also be launching our new 1-2-1 peer support service soon which will offer another option for this support (stay tuned for further updates on this!).
In the meantime, if you are looking for a smaller group space, our Tuesday Support Circle sessions are a great option. You can find out more about them and how to sign up over on our website.
Looking forward to seeing how we can all make this space even more supportive together!
Any thoughts, questions or feedback, feel free to comment below
Aoife, Gemma, JustV & Ella
We wanted to take a moment to clarify the role of our support group moderators as we've noticed there's been a shift in how support groups are being used and the expectations of our moderators. So let's talk about what their roles are and what you can expect from our support groups here at The Mix
.Why do we have support group moderators?
When our support groups first started, they were designed as a space for everyone to hang out and chat with each other, with moderators there to ensure everyone was being respectful, following guidelines, and feeling safe. While moderators were there to support and ensure everyone felt heard, their main role wasn’t to provide direct support. Fast forward to now, things seem a bit different as there's a lot of expectation on our moderators to be there more as supporters that anything else.
This has shifted the dynamic in a couple of ways by leading to more 1-2-1 interactions rather than group discussions, when ideally, it should be everyone talking to and supporting one another. This shift also means a lot of the support comes from a moderator rather than from members sharing openly from personal experiences. Our support groups are set up to be a peer support space and we believe the most valuable and genuine support comes from you all.
Shifting back to a peer support space
We'll be shifting things slightly to help support groups return to their purpose of being a group support space, moving away from the high levels of 1-2-1 support currently provided by the moderators.
Moderators will continue to get involved in discussions when they need to, but you will see them take a bit more of a step back to give you all more opportunities to support each other.
How can you help?
To make this shift happen, we need your help!
We'd like everyone to come to chat ready to support each other and generally chat to other members of the group. A lot of you already do this, which is amazing - you're perfectly positioned to lead this change with us!
If you're unsure what to say in chat, scroll up in the chat conversation and see if you can help someone out. Maybe someone reaching out and hasn’t been heard yet so you could say hello and offer a kind word. If a newcomer joins, make them feel welcome and help them get started. Think about how you felt when you first joined chat and what helped you feel comfy reaching out for support for the first time.
Remember, you don't always need to provide in-depth support to be helpful to someone. Just letting someone know they're being heard and that someone cares can have a huge impact - you might have felt this yourself.
What if I can't support other people?
It's completely okay if you're not able to support someone else or prefer to mute people to manage any triggers you have in the sessions. The moderators will still be there to help out.
Do keep in mind the 'group' aspect of support groups. If you're looking for more direct, 1-2-1 support, you may find services such as Childline, Calm, Crisis Messenger, Samaritans or Papyrus can offer the support you're looking for.
We'll also be launching our new 1-2-1 peer support service soon which will offer another option for this support (stay tuned for further updates on this!).
In the meantime, if you are looking for a smaller group space, our Tuesday Support Circle sessions are a great option. You can find out more about them and how to sign up over on our website.
Looking forward to seeing how we can all make this space even more supportive together!
Any thoughts, questions or feedback, feel free to comment below
Aoife, Gemma, JustV & Ella
TheMix
10
Re: Back to uni anxiety
Hi @Millie2787 it sounds like you're experiencing a lot on your plate right now so it is okay to feel anxious. It is normal to feel worried about going to university again and I can understand your worries about failing the year, but the fact that you have made it to third year makes me believe that you are entirely capable of passing your final year. You are doing so well to have got this far so keep it up! Do you have anyone close to you at university that you trust to open up to? As sometimes I feel talking with someone who is in the same position as you can ease your worries and provide some reassurance.
I can also understand how commuting is a worry for you. Is there anything in particular that is particularly stressful for you?
I can understand how difficult it must be for you to manage your anxiety when it comes up out of the blue. Have you found any coping mechanisms that work for you when you're feeling particularly anxious? I would suggest to take university day by day, and keep on top of assignments etc before they build up as this creates more unwanted stress. Remember to make time for yourself and have breaks to do things that you enjoy. It is important to put yourself first as a priority.
Keep us updated with how tomorrow goes. We are always here for you
I can also understand how commuting is a worry for you. Is there anything in particular that is particularly stressful for you?
I can understand how difficult it must be for you to manage your anxiety when it comes up out of the blue. Have you found any coping mechanisms that work for you when you're feeling particularly anxious? I would suggest to take university day by day, and keep on top of assignments etc before they build up as this creates more unwanted stress. Remember to make time for yourself and have breaks to do things that you enjoy. It is important to put yourself first as a priority.
Keep us updated with how tomorrow goes. We are always here for you
Re: im at breaking point.
the mix are here to support you @eylah and you can join the support group chat this evening. no problem.
Re: A threesome relationship
Hey @XeniAnesty just chiming in on this
I don't know much about this area to be honest but I've found this article on Brook's website which goes into some more detail around non-monogamous relationships.
In terms of what the psychiatrist mentioned to you, this sounds like hierarchical polyamory where some people have one main partner alongside other relationships that are less of a priority (primary and secondary relationships). This is in comparison to egalitarian polyamory where there isn’t a hierarchy, with each partner considered equal. People in this relationship structure may live together in a triad or quad.
This is what Brook say around non-monogamous relationships:
It might be worth looking into Brook's services and articles some more and hearing from those who have been in that position before.
I don't know much about this area to be honest but I've found this article on Brook's website which goes into some more detail around non-monogamous relationships.
In terms of what the psychiatrist mentioned to you, this sounds like hierarchical polyamory where some people have one main partner alongside other relationships that are less of a priority (primary and secondary relationships). This is in comparison to egalitarian polyamory where there isn’t a hierarchy, with each partner considered equal. People in this relationship structure may live together in a triad or quad.
This is what Brook say around non-monogamous relationships:
The question of jealousy is a common one and for many people might be a natural response to a partner having some form of relationship with another person. But people who are polyamorous have challenged this by encouraging the idea of ‘owning’ those feelings or even feeling ‘compersion’ or ‘frubble’. These words have developed to express the opposite of jealousy and refer to the feeling of happiness or joy someone feels when their partner is happy with someone else.
As with monogamous relationships, people in non-monogamous relationships have lots of different ways of managing their relationships. For example, some people want clear rules on how to do their relationship, while others give each other lots of freedom, trusting each other to make good choices. Some people in open relationships tell each other everything, whereas others prefer to keep their various relationships private.
And, of course, people in non-monogamous relationships are just as likely to break the rules and keep secrets as people in monogamous ones.
It might be worth looking into Brook's services and articles some more and hearing from those who have been in that position before.
Gemma
1
Re: im at breaking point.
That’s horrible! It’s not your fault!!im struggling sm with everything going on rn. i keep blaming myself for my best friend death my dad is agreeing with me to.
I’m so sorry to hear all of this, we’re here for you
I really wish there was more I / we could do to help 🫂
Re: Surfing!!
You're doing so well taking those baby steps @Chloe234! It'll be a relief knowing lifeguards are on duty to support too. Let us know how it goes!
Gemma
2
Re: Pets...pets...and more pets!
unfortunately i don't have any pets - but am definitely appreciating the cuteness of these photos 
Re: This is so embarrassing
you should never feel embarrassed sharing things like this to us bc we are not gonna judge you rose. many young ppl would relate to you so your not alone. have you got any like fidget toys or anything or teddies you could use to try distract tourself with that? ik it sounds silly. here for you rose .i used to suck my thumb but now have teddy bears to comfort me now. hugs 🫂.
.i used to suck my thumb but now have teddy bears to comfort me now. hugs 🫂. 
eylah
2