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Morning Lottie, just checking in how you are today? Please let us know if you would like us to look into further support options for you.
I’m “fine” currently don’t see a point in saying how I truly feel.
going to put the next bit in a spoiler just for others reading
my boyfriend and I had a chat yesterday and told me I need to call someone about what’s happening especially since I made a drink with a fair bit of paracetamol in it but also I had packets of it with me too and I wanted to take them in adjacent. I didn’t end up calling anyone as again I saw no point.
he said I can’t wait till Wednesday when I see N and I need to stop going off from what happened in the past and not everyone’s out to get me and people want to help.
I just feel bad because he doesn’t know I self harmed yesterday when I was in the shower.
Like I get why he’s like this as he just doesn’t want to loose me and how he said “I don’t want to wake up and find me dead next to me” and “I don’t know what to do because I can’t take the medication away because that makes you worse and I can’t take the blades away because that makes you worse, I just don’t know what else I can do and it hurts me to see you like this”
I told my boyfriend I just wanted to go for a drive (this was at 11pm ish) and he wouldn’t let me go as he said I wasn’t in the right headspace and said if I did go out he’d call the police on me.
I jut need to get through today and tonight and I will be fine until I see N
I might ask my boyfriend if we can go for a walk in the valley along the viaduct or along the coastal path with the dog
Hey @Lottie5433
It sounds like the emotions you were processing yesterday were very intense. Feeling like you aren't being listened to must feel frustrating, especially when you are trying to improve your communication in your relationship.
I hear how you want to move away and get a fresh start. Have you felt like this a lot recently?
How has today been for you?
hi @Blue_lily the emotions I was processing were very intense.
I have felt like that a lot recently
Sorry for the late reply, the day after it was very exhausting mentally and physically and that’s been like that for the last couple days
Hi @Lottie5433
No stress about the late reply.
I've just had a read of the post above, I think I must have missed it yesterday when I responded to you, I am so sorry.
Did you end up being able to go on a walk with your boyfriend and your dog. Sometimes I find getting outside can really help to just calm the thoughts in my head.
How are you feeling today?
hi @blue_lily
No need to apologise for missing anything, there’s quite a lot in the post anyways.
I didn’t end up going for the walk with my boyfriend and my dog. My boyfriend said not to because of the weather. So I said I’d go on my own as I didn’t care about the weather, but he said if I did he’d call the police as I wasn’t in the right head space still.
today I’m feeling okay, had my therapy session and spoke about my goals as well as family dynamic other than that just still mentally exhausted