Accused of 'faking it'

Comments

• PetiteQuark Posts: 127 The Mix Convert

  January 11 edited January 11

  Like ngl 1 and I don't even go to the same college,and im literally gonna be leaving college altogether in april so i can do online class (access to physics) and 2's in university, idrk its just as soon as i became better 1 had to just spam my entire phone with texts like 'youre faking everything' i cant believe i trusted 1 before and gosh i wish i could tell my 17 year old self not to trust people so easily but yeah what can i do im quite naive. Im just scared if 1 goes around telling people im a faker or telling everyone that and im worried if hell go around telling my other friends that or my future employers or whatever or even go on social media and say that but maybe it could be me overreacting. Like i just didnt want to be greeted with dms like '

  stfu

  youre faking being

  fucking

  depressed blabla'
  Btw 2 knows im on fluoxetine bc we both are on it or on smth similar so yeah idrk what to do really.
  I just cant really,i havent even spoken to 1 in ages... He even forgot how old I was (im actually older than him by months but he thought i was 20) i dont know what to do really, whether i should 'prove' 1 wrong, honestly i dont feel ok with showing off scars or anything, i just thought that because 2 knows im on ssris maybe thats all idrk.

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• Verity Community Manager Posts: 185 Helping Hand

  January 11

  Hey @PetiteQuark this is such a shame you have to go through this, being accused of faking your struggles and or lying about what you are going through must feel so invalidating, hurtful and confusing since this is someone you may have considered a friend or an acquaintance. A 'crashout' during your first week of this medication must have overwelming for you to go through, your nervous system is adjusting, do you want to share more about how this 'crashout' felt?
  
  Your struggles are real and we're here to support you.

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• PetiteQuark Posts: 127 The Mix Convert

  January 11

  Verity wrote: »

  Hey @PetiteQuark this is such a shame you have to go through this, being accused of faking your struggles and or lying about what you are going through must feel so invalidating, hurtful and confusing since this is someone you may have considered a friend or an acquaintance. A 'crashout' during your first week of this medication must have overwelming for you to go through, your nervous system is adjusting, do you want to share more about how this 'crashout' felt?
  
  Your struggles are real and we're here to support you.

  
  Ok so basically I also had this rolling panic attack thing like 2 months ago where everyday for a week I would just be absolutely panicked, i wasn't even hungry cuz thats how panicked I was. Soooo i stupidly told everything i felt to 2 idrk why and yeah also i used to be pretty irresponsible w ssris at first (used to go on and off them bc i felt there wasnt a point in getting better) and i used to go crazy because of that so i was basically crazy. Anyway 2 told 1 all of that and 1 just said a panic attack like that doesn't exist and that im faking everything that im a liar and that im a narcissist.
  Btw, 1 and I havent even seen or even spoken to eachother for like, a year btw. I just told 1 to quit talking to me and that i dont care what he says because i dont speak to him and he doesn't know me, heck, he didnt even know how old I was lol (he thought i was 20 so that says alot lol) and yeah. He basically said i was faking hurting myself faking everything etc etc and told me to stop talking to 2 and that im a bad person just alot of swearing too btw and calling me immature and stuff, saying how im a failure, saying how im gonna fail in physics etc yeah

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• PetiteQuark Posts: 127 The Mix Convert

  January 11 edited January 11

  PetiteQuark wrote: »

  Verity wrote: »

  Hey @PetiteQuark this is such a shame you have to go through this, being accused of faking your struggles and or lying about what you are going through must feel so invalidating, hurtful and confusing since this is someone you may have considered a friend or an acquaintance. A 'crashout' during your first week of this medication must have overwelming for you to go through, your nervous system is adjusting, do you want to share more about how this 'crashout' felt?
  
  Your struggles are real and we're here to support you.

  
  Ok so basically I also had this rolling panic attack thing like 2 months ago where everyday for a week I would just be absolutely panicked, i wasn't even hungry cuz thats how panicked I was. Soooo i stupidly told everything i felt to 2 idrk why and yeah also i used to be pretty irresponsible w ssris at first (used to go on and off them bc i felt there wasnt a point in getting better) and i used to go crazy because of that so i was basically crazy. Anyway 2 told 1 all of that and 1 just said a panic attack like that doesn't exist and that im faking everything that im a liar and that im a narcissist.
  Btw, 1 and I havent even seen or even spoken to eachother for like, a year btw. I just told 1 to quit talking to me and that i dont care what he says because i dont speak to him and he doesn't know me, heck, he didnt even know how old I was lol (he thought i was 20 so that says alot lol) and yeah. He basically said i was faking hurting myself faking everything etc etc and told me to stop talking to 2 and that im a bad person just alot of swearing too btw and calling me immature and stuff, saying how im a failure, saying how im gonna fail in physics etc yeah

  
  And ngl i just stupidly told them to stop talking to me and that I didnt care that they thought i was faking it or whatever because that would only matter if they were my therapist or gp, they kept on calling me a narcissist, edgy etc etc and other things i just deleted them off my phone and told them to stop honestly i should've told them to quit calling people narcissists because diagnosing people one hasnt spoken to in ages when they dont have a degree in psychology and are not even working in mental health is wrong, and also accusing people of faking disorders and giving out armchair diagnoses and invalidating people is just so so wrong, like you dont know what everyone goes through and the first week of antidepressants is usually awful that would make it worse and that most people would not have reacted the way I did! Yes i just deleted them from my phone and told them to go away but most people would have reacted far more strongly than I have did, most people dont like being invalidated.
  
  Also ngl i feel like deleting 2 off my phone as well its just that im unsure if 2 will talk to 1 about me and ill go through this again and idrk i dont trust people that much anymore, honestly im actually kind of scared even, like... All the aggressive swearing and accusations and the armchair diagnoses... I've been bullied and harassed before when i was in early secondary school but damn this is like that all over again, and I haven't been through anything like that in years.
  
  Honestly I don't care about the validation of someone i dont even speak to anymore, i just know that im literally diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder for ages and that if i was 'faking it' i wouldn't have been taking medication which has all those side effects. But I wont lie with all that swearing and accusations and all that behaviour... I should be alot more cautious when dealing with people.

  Post edited by PetiteQuark on January 11

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• Azziman Discussion Boards Moderator Posts: 2,513 Boards Guru

  January 17

  Hey @PetiteQuark, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. Being accused of faking your condition is invalidating, and I can hear how it can be hurtful for a friend to turn around and start saying these things. You felt like you could trust these people, and they have broken that trust, and a friend doesn't say all these things to you. The important thing is that you have a diagnosis from a doctor, medication to help you with the condition, and you focus on your mental health. You don't need to prove yourself to these people, and you don't have any obligation to not block these two people if they are being hurtful to you by saying these things. There are plenty of good people out there who would be kind and supportive to a friend in this situation, and certainly far more than these two individuals have treated you so far. We're here to support you through this.

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• PetiteQuark Posts: 127 The Mix Convert

  January 19 edited January 19

  Azziman wrote: »

  Hey @PetiteQuark, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. Being accused of faking your condition is invalidating, and I can hear how it can be hurtful for a friend to turn around and start saying these things. You felt like you could trust these people, and they have broken that trust, and a friend doesn't say all these things to you. The important thing is that you have a diagnosis from a doctor, medication to help you with the condition, and you focus on your mental health. You don't need to prove yourself to these people, and you don't have any obligation to not block these two people if they are being hurtful to you by saying these things. There are plenty of good people out there who would be kind and supportive to a friend in this situation, and certainly far more than these two individuals have treated you so far. We're here to support you through this.

  
  Yeah the annoying thing is even though i blocked them the social media platform that they spoke to me still lets them view my account and my profile and everything, honestly this guy only knew me for like, less than a year, and during that time i dont think i was completely ok like sometimes i become very impulsive and say stuff i wont usually say when im depressed idrk why i think its because i become very apathetic and it gets to a certain point. But yeah idrc i literally have people who basically watched me grow up and they've literally seen me panic alot they've literally seen how i behave usually and how my behaviour changed so yeah idrc if one guy who i haven't spoken to in months accuses me off stuff when theyve only known me for less than a year and during that time i wasn't rlly ok. Im just worried if theyll talk about my crashout or something or share it online especially with the accusations and stuff, yeah i do have a diagnosis of stuff and am on medication also i have friends and acquaintances and family members who have pretty much seen how i behave and all. Idrk i just become very impulsive and do stupid things say stuff i wouldn't usually say and i also drank alot of energy drinks + coffee which makes me extra hyperactive (stopped it now because of the hyper activity)

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• Callum Community Manager Posts: 11 Settling in

  9:52AM

  Hey @PetiteQuark thanks for sharing all of this about your experiences with being accused of lying about your condition, you don't deserve that at all. It's good to hear that you have moved to a point where you're focusing more on those who have seen you grow up and are aware of what you are going through, while trying to ignore and forget those friends who have not been supportive. It makes sense they are still causing you some stress though, such as about talking to others and sharing things online, that's so frustrating and you shouldn't have to deal with that. We're all here for you.

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