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Accused of 'faking it'

PetiteQuarkPetiteQuark Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
edited January 11 in Health & Wellbeing
Trigger warning
So i was friends with this guy, (1) for like a year and he showed me to one of his other friends (2) who who was really into science and i added him to my science group w my friends and i was off fluoxetine for over a week because i wanted to go on citalopram (i have severe panic attacks and anxiety) and i just restarted fluoxetine bc my doctor had already sent a prescription for more fluoxetine, and the first week was hell like it always is, and like i had this depressive anxious crashout in my science groups off topic channel and that scared off my friends and 2 told 1, and 1 just kept on spamming my phone with texts like 'youre faking it youre faking your depression and youre faking
self harming
amd everyone knows youre faking it stop making mental illness your personality' idrk im just really upset over this but at the same time idrc i just blocked 1 after that because i really cant anymore and im pretty sure I wrote on here before I have been invalidated alot and honestly i wish i never trusted people that easily tbh. Like i was basically being flooded w texts telling me that im faking everything and im just annoyed right now... If I was faking all this why the hell would i take medicene that made me (after some time) feel SO MUCH BETTER (even though it made me feel anxious at first and makes me feel sick) but yeah im just kinda scared over this too.

Comments

  • PetiteQuarkPetiteQuark Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    edited January 11
    Like ngl 1 and I don't even go to the same college,and im literally gonna be leaving college altogether in april so i can do online class (access to physics) and 2's in university, idrk its just as soon as i became better 1 had to just spam my entire phone with texts like 'youre faking everything' i cant believe i trusted 1 before and gosh i wish i could tell my 17 year old self not to trust people so easily but yeah what can i do im quite naive. Im just scared if 1 goes around telling people im a faker or telling everyone that and im worried if hell go around telling my other friends that or my future employers or whatever or even go on social media and say that but maybe it could be me overreacting. Like i just didnt want to be greeted with dms like '
    stfu
    youre faking being
    fucking
    depressed blabla'
    Btw 2 knows im on fluoxetine bc we both are on it or on smth similar so yeah idrk what to do really.
    I just cant really,i havent even spoken to 1 in ages... He even forgot how old I was (im actually older than him by months but he thought i was 20) i dont know what to do really, whether i should 'prove' 1 wrong, honestly i dont feel ok with showing off scars or anything, i just thought that because 2 knows im on ssris maybe thats all idrk.
  • VerityVerity Community Manager Posts: 163 Helping Hand
    Hey @PetiteQuark this is such a shame you have to go through this, being accused of faking your struggles and or lying about what you are going through must feel so invalidating, hurtful and confusing since this is someone you may have considered a friend or an acquaintance. A 'crashout' during your first week of this medication must have overwelming for you to go through, your nervous system is adjusting, do you want to share more about how this 'crashout' felt?

    Your struggles are real and we're here to support you.
  • PetiteQuarkPetiteQuark Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    Verity wrote: »
    Hey @PetiteQuark this is such a shame you have to go through this, being accused of faking your struggles and or lying about what you are going through must feel so invalidating, hurtful and confusing since this is someone you may have considered a friend or an acquaintance. A 'crashout' during your first week of this medication must have overwelming for you to go through, your nervous system is adjusting, do you want to share more about how this 'crashout' felt?

    Your struggles are real and we're here to support you.

    Ok so basically I also had this rolling panic attack thing like 2 months ago where everyday for a week I would just be absolutely panicked, i wasn't even hungry cuz thats how panicked I was. Soooo i stupidly told everything i felt to 2 idrk why and yeah also i used to be pretty irresponsible w ssris at first (used to go on and off them bc i felt there wasnt a point in getting better) and i used to go crazy because of that so i was basically crazy. Anyway 2 told 1 all of that and 1 just said a panic attack like that doesn't exist and that im faking everything that im a liar and that im a narcissist.
    Btw, 1 and I havent even seen or even spoken to eachother for like, a year btw. I just told 1 to quit talking to me and that i dont care what he says because i dont speak to him and he doesn't know me, heck, he didnt even know how old I was lol (he thought i was 20 so that says alot lol) and yeah. He basically said i was faking hurting myself faking everything etc etc and told me to stop talking to 2 and that im a bad person just alot of swearing too btw and calling me immature and stuff, saying how im a failure, saying how im gonna fail in physics etc yeah
  • PetiteQuarkPetiteQuark Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    edited January 11
    PetiteQuark wrote: »
    Verity wrote: »
    Hey @PetiteQuark this is such a shame you have to go through this, being accused of faking your struggles and or lying about what you are going through must feel so invalidating, hurtful and confusing since this is someone you may have considered a friend or an acquaintance. A 'crashout' during your first week of this medication must have overwelming for you to go through, your nervous system is adjusting, do you want to share more about how this 'crashout' felt?

    Your struggles are real and we're here to support you.

    Ok so basically I also had this rolling panic attack thing like 2 months ago where everyday for a week I would just be absolutely panicked, i wasn't even hungry cuz thats how panicked I was. Soooo i stupidly told everything i felt to 2 idrk why and yeah also i used to be pretty irresponsible w ssris at first (used to go on and off them bc i felt there wasnt a point in getting better) and i used to go crazy because of that so i was basically crazy. Anyway 2 told 1 all of that and 1 just said a panic attack like that doesn't exist and that im faking everything that im a liar and that im a narcissist.
    Btw, 1 and I havent even seen or even spoken to eachother for like, a year btw. I just told 1 to quit talking to me and that i dont care what he says because i dont speak to him and he doesn't know me, heck, he didnt even know how old I was lol (he thought i was 20 so that says alot lol) and yeah. He basically said i was faking hurting myself faking everything etc etc and told me to stop talking to 2 and that im a bad person just alot of swearing too btw and calling me immature and stuff, saying how im a failure, saying how im gonna fail in physics etc yeah

    And ngl i just stupidly told them to stop talking to me and that I didnt care that they thought i was faking it or whatever because that would only matter if they were my therapist or gp, they kept on calling me a narcissist, edgy etc etc and other things i just deleted them off my phone and told them to stop honestly i should've told them to quit calling people narcissists because diagnosing people one hasnt spoken to in ages when they dont have a degree in psychology and are not even working in mental health is wrong, and also accusing people of faking disorders and giving out armchair diagnoses and invalidating people is just so so wrong, like you dont know what everyone goes through and the first week of antidepressants is usually awful that would make it worse and that most people would not have reacted the way I did! Yes i just deleted them from my phone and told them to go away but most people would have reacted far more strongly than I have did, most people dont like being invalidated.

    Also ngl i feel like deleting 2 off my phone as well its just that im unsure if 2 will talk to 1 about me and ill go through this again and idrk i dont trust people that much anymore, honestly im actually kind of scared even, like... All the aggressive swearing and accusations and the armchair diagnoses... I've been bullied and harassed before when i was in early secondary school but damn this is like that all over again, and I haven't been through anything like that in years.

    Honestly I don't care about the validation of someone i dont even speak to anymore, i just know that im literally diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder for ages and that if i was 'faking it' i wouldn't have been taking medication which has all those side effects. But I wont lie with all that swearing and accusations and all that behaviour... I should be alot more cautious when dealing with people.
    Post edited by PetiteQuark on
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