Breakup

LolaPumpkin13 · December 22

I look awful I barely sleep anymore I’m suicidal most of the time I’ve had no help whatsoever

LolaPumpkin13 · December 22

This is not a normal break up and no one is understanding that

LolaPumpkin13 · December 23

I’m too tired of fighting this anymore

LolaPumpkin13 · December 24

I just want to let go and move on

Katie · December 24

Hey @LolaPumpkin13 thank you for sharing a little more about what you're going through. It sounds like you're been carrying a lot of difficult feelings and experiences for a long time, and it takes a lot of courage to be able to open up like this. It's really valid and understandable that losing someone who felt like your support through a tough time would leave you feeling hurt, lost and confused.

Breakups can cause a lot of complicated emotions, especially when you cared deeply about the person. These feelings that you described here don't make you manipulative or a bad person, it just makes you human.

You mentioned how this isn't a normal breakup, and I wonder if you could explain a little more about that so that we can better understand and support you Lola?

I'm hearing that you've been trying to get support from your GP and other services. I wonder what services have you been able to reach out to so far and how did you find it?

You also mentioned about feeling suicidal most of the time and being too tired to fight anymore. Do you feel comfortable sharing if you feel safe at the moment? I'm mindful that we aren't a crisis service, but if you do feel at any point like you can't keep yourself safe, we would urge you to call the emergency services on 999, or go to your local A&E department to explain your intentions to them, so that they can support you. You don't have to wait until it becomes too much, and they will be there to help.

LolaPumpkin13 · December 26

I just don’t know how to get better

Sian321 · December 26

Hey @LolaPumpkin13 , how are you doing? It sounds like the pain and heartache of this breakup have been feeling so relentless - its been a real anguish, and I hear you saying that you don't know how to make it feel better. That sounds really overwhelming, and we're here with you to listen.

Can I check, you mentioned feeling suicidal - are you feeling able to keep safe at the moment?

As Katie said, if you do feel at any point like you can't keep yourself safe, we would urge you to call the emergency services on 999, or go to your local A&E department to explain your intentions to them, so that they can support you. You don't have to wait until it becomes too much, and they will be there to help.

LolaPumpkin13 · December 27

I’m not really feeling that much better

Sian321 · December 27

Hey @LolaPumpkin13 , I hear you - You've mentioned to us earlier that you're feeling suicidal, and today you've let us know that you're not feeling much better. The staff team will drop you a DM to explore further and check how safe you're feeling today.

LolaPumpkin13 · December 28

I just want some help to move on so this doesn’t happen again

Verity · December 29

Hey @LolaPumpkin13 I understand that you've been struggling with this for a while now, it seems like you are really aware that this is something you want to avoid going through again, it must be confusing and scary not understanding the whole picture.

I thought this article might be helpful for you: https://theeverygirl.com/breakup-advice-for-my-younger-self/

You've mentioned that you are not getting the support that you feel will help, I just wanted to ask what that support may look like for you? Support comes in different ways, would that be more advice or mental health supporrt? if you are not sure, that is completely fine as I know it can be hard to put emotions into words.

LolaPumpkin13 · December 29

It’s more mental health support and advice I’ve spoken to mental health team so many times and nothing has been done

Verity · December 29

Hey @LolaPumpkin13 I hear you, it must be frustrating not getting the support you need, or not feeling like you are being heard? We would be happy to send you some support services in your area, if you let us know via DM where you are based we can get this infomation over to you.

I'm sure you feel that you are going around in loops and you are not being heard, would you say that is the main issue?

LolaPumpkin13 · December 29

That is definitely how I feel and sure

Verity · December 29

@LolaPumpkin13 I understand that you feel that those who are giving you support are not understanding what you need to feel any ease with your sitiation right now, is that right?

From my understanding, you are going through a break up and struggling with this person not being in your life, would you say the absence of this person in your life is what you are struggling most with?

LolaPumpkin13 · December 29

Yes but also the thoughts are still there

Verity · December 29

thanks for sharing @LolaPumpkin13 Are these thoughts mainly around the breakup or would you say it's the realationship overall? I understand it wasn't an easy breakup for you, I wonder if you were having negative thoughts that you struggled when this person was still in your life?

LolaPumpkin13 · December 29

He wasn’t a bad person he had changed towards me a lot and I don’t know it is just a lot like the clubbing thoughts sleeping with other people thoughts cheating thoughts that I didn’t love him anymore being single thoughts

Verity · 11:20AM

Hey @LolaPumpkin13 I understand it's not just one thing you are thinking about, many things are going through your head when you think of this realtionship, I'm sure it feels overwhelming?

LolaPumpkin13 · 11:50AM

No unfortunately it is not

Breakup

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