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Comments
Breakups can cause a lot of complicated emotions, especially when you cared deeply about the person. These feelings that you described here don't make you manipulative or a bad person, it just makes you human.
You mentioned how this isn't a normal breakup, and I wonder if you could explain a little more about that so that we can better understand and support you Lola?
I'm hearing that you've been trying to get support from your GP and other services. I wonder what services have you been able to reach out to so far and how did you find it?
You also mentioned about feeling suicidal most of the time and being too tired to fight anymore. Do you feel comfortable sharing if you feel safe at the moment? I'm mindful that we aren't a crisis service, but if you do feel at any point like you can't keep yourself safe, we would urge you to call the emergency services on 999, or go to your local A&E department to explain your intentions to them, so that they can support you. You don't have to wait until it becomes too much, and they will be there to help.