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Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering stuff edition)

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Comments

  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,928 Master Poster
    eylah wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    i haven’t gone to my therapy. im quitting everything. Cba with it :/

    @eylah please don't give up trying to get help. I know it's hard and it's so demoralising, but if you stop trying to seek help now, you might stay stuck like this. And i don't want that for you, I want you to be able to process these things, get into a better frame of mind with professional help, and to start to enjoy things in life again, cause you deserve to be happy. Please don't let those wankers yesterday stop you from getting the help you deserve friend. I'm here to talk if you want.

    Can i ask one favour? Give yourself a hug from me, and a pat on the back. You're amazing. <3

    ive already been told im being discharged by services so whats point? noone wants to help me. <3 and i just hugged myself like a absolute twat 🤣😭🤣 ( hugs ) 🫂

    @eylah i have now just hugged myself too. We can be twats together. 😂

    The mental health services in this country are abysmal, and so many people are being discharged when they still need help. We have some of the worst and most under pressure mental health services in the world. This is a little graph showing it. You are being let down by the system, but that doesn't mean you deserve to be let down. It just means the system is severely broken. I know it's not a lot, but i'm always here to talk about anything you want friend. You might be discharged by the failing system, but you'll never be alone with nobody to speak too, cause i'm here for you.

    8pq5h8hk5ljp.png

    the twat duo 🤣❤️

    im going beach today to chill <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 2,798 Boards Guru
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    also @DonnerKebab im having an energy drink right now lol.

    @toffuna101 good stuff to keep yourself awake, but just make sure it doesn't become dependency, cause too much for too long can wreck your body. I speak from personal experience (admittedly it was 4 a day for several years, but the point stands 😂 )

    i drank one a day for three days in a row now. it just tastes so good. i wont drink one tomorrow as my mum is starting to get suspicious of my caffeine intake. she said to not buy energy drinks anymore as it can damage my heart which is true, it can. i know thats just her way of saying that shes concerned about me. @DonnerKebab

    @toffuna101 definitely true. At my intake, i was having heart palpitations daily after the first 3 months of it and weight gain from the sugar in them. Definitely good as a 1 off boost, but avoid making it a regular thing. Your mum is 100% right and i can say that from experience.

    that doesnt sound good. i definitely wont buy anymore energy drinks then unless if i receive an energy drink as a gift which will only be occasionally. the reason why i brought six cans of energy drinks was because they were really cheap at 69p each and i really liked sour apple as one of the energy drink flavours. plus online they sell them for double the price for six cans so it was way cheaper to get at home bargains in-person. so they kind of lured me in a way to for me drink more energy drinks. its a smart business move i must say. there was a deal to get three energy drinks for £1 but i didnt take that deal as i didnt know what flavour it was and the cans looked smaller. whilst the sour apple flavour energy drink had 500ml in one can which is worth it for 69p each. so yeah, they almost got me addicted to energy drinks i guess. im glad my mum and you warned me because if no one warned me i wouldve carried on drinking energy drinks. @DonnerKebab

    @toffuna101 yeah, once it becomes addiction, it's hard to steer away from, and the caffeine addiction sucks, because if you stop drinking it once addicted, even for a day, the caffeine withdrawal causes headaches and all sorts. Rarely taking them is fine, taking them everyday is not, no matter how cheap or tasty they are. They used to do energy drinks for 35p, or 4 for £1 of 250ml cans. Them being cheap and needing to stay awake is what drew me in and then addiction followed. It's a slippery slop that you should always try and avoid. I'm proud of you for avoiding going down the same struggle i did.

    the uk should do a study on energy drink addiction because of how cheap they are. dont they have sugar tax now where they raise the price of anything with sugar in it to prevent people from developing unhealthy eating habits? cause i think the same applies for energy drinks. correct me if im wrong. the caffeine withdrawal is real indeed. @DonnerKebab

    @toffuna101 long term caffeine intake actually changes brain chemistry a bit even. Weight gain, heart issues, all on the rise. And the tax isn't a huge amount. So it's 18p per litre. So 9p for a 500ml energy drink on top of it's normal price. So essentially, it would take the price of your energy drinks from 61p to 69p and that's all. Not enough to make a difference. And yeah, caffeine withdrawal is recognised as scientific fact with medical evidence backing it up. Nobody knows the true extent of the long term impact, just that there is one.

    @DonnerKebab wow thats concerning. why cant they just round up the 18p per litre to the nearest ten and make it be 20p per litre?
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 927 What a way to make a living...
    eylah wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    i haven’t gone to my therapy. im quitting everything. Cba with it :/

    @eylah please don't give up trying to get help. I know it's hard and it's so demoralising, but if you stop trying to seek help now, you might stay stuck like this. And i don't want that for you, I want you to be able to process these things, get into a better frame of mind with professional help, and to start to enjoy things in life again, cause you deserve to be happy. Please don't let those wankers yesterday stop you from getting the help you deserve friend. I'm here to talk if you want.

    Can i ask one favour? Give yourself a hug from me, and a pat on the back. You're amazing. <3

    ive already been told im being discharged by services so whats point? noone wants to help me. <3 and i just hugged myself like a absolute twat 🤣😭🤣 ( hugs ) 🫂

    @eylah i have now just hugged myself too. We can be twats together. 😂

    The mental health services in this country are abysmal, and so many people are being discharged when they still need help. We have some of the worst and most under pressure mental health services in the world. This is a little graph showing it. You are being let down by the system, but that doesn't mean you deserve to be let down. It just means the system is severely broken. I know it's not a lot, but i'm always here to talk about anything you want friend. You might be discharged by the failing system, but you'll never be alone with nobody to speak too, cause i'm here for you.

    8pq5h8hk5ljp.png

    the twat duo 🤣❤️

    im going beach today to chill <3

    @eylah hope you have a lovely time at the beach, fellow twat duo member 🤣❤️
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 927 What a way to make a living...
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    also @DonnerKebab im having an energy drink right now lol.

    @toffuna101 good stuff to keep yourself awake, but just make sure it doesn't become dependency, cause too much for too long can wreck your body. I speak from personal experience (admittedly it was 4 a day for several years, but the point stands 😂 )

    i drank one a day for three days in a row now. it just tastes so good. i wont drink one tomorrow as my mum is starting to get suspicious of my caffeine intake. she said to not buy energy drinks anymore as it can damage my heart which is true, it can. i know thats just her way of saying that shes concerned about me. @DonnerKebab

    @toffuna101 definitely true. At my intake, i was having heart palpitations daily after the first 3 months of it and weight gain from the sugar in them. Definitely good as a 1 off boost, but avoid making it a regular thing. Your mum is 100% right and i can say that from experience.

    that doesnt sound good. i definitely wont buy anymore energy drinks then unless if i receive an energy drink as a gift which will only be occasionally. the reason why i brought six cans of energy drinks was because they were really cheap at 69p each and i really liked sour apple as one of the energy drink flavours. plus online they sell them for double the price for six cans so it was way cheaper to get at home bargains in-person. so they kind of lured me in a way to for me drink more energy drinks. its a smart business move i must say. there was a deal to get three energy drinks for £1 but i didnt take that deal as i didnt know what flavour it was and the cans looked smaller. whilst the sour apple flavour energy drink had 500ml in one can which is worth it for 69p each. so yeah, they almost got me addicted to energy drinks i guess. im glad my mum and you warned me because if no one warned me i wouldve carried on drinking energy drinks. @DonnerKebab

    @toffuna101 yeah, once it becomes addiction, it's hard to steer away from, and the caffeine addiction sucks, because if you stop drinking it once addicted, even for a day, the caffeine withdrawal causes headaches and all sorts. Rarely taking them is fine, taking them everyday is not, no matter how cheap or tasty they are. They used to do energy drinks for 35p, or 4 for £1 of 250ml cans. Them being cheap and needing to stay awake is what drew me in and then addiction followed. It's a slippery slop that you should always try and avoid. I'm proud of you for avoiding going down the same struggle i did.

    the uk should do a study on energy drink addiction because of how cheap they are. dont they have sugar tax now where they raise the price of anything with sugar in it to prevent people from developing unhealthy eating habits? cause i think the same applies for energy drinks. correct me if im wrong. the caffeine withdrawal is real indeed. @DonnerKebab

    @toffuna101 long term caffeine intake actually changes brain chemistry a bit even. Weight gain, heart issues, all on the rise. And the tax isn't a huge amount. So it's 18p per litre. So 9p for a 500ml energy drink on top of it's normal price. So essentially, it would take the price of your energy drinks from 61p to 69p and that's all. Not enough to make a difference. And yeah, caffeine withdrawal is recognised as scientific fact with medical evidence backing it up. Nobody knows the true extent of the long term impact, just that there is one.

    @DonnerKebab wow thats concerning. why cant they just round up the 18p per litre to the nearest ten and make it be 20p per litre?

    I'm pretty sure it's because the government does not know what they hell they are doing 99% of the time or how to make effective laws.
  • Lottie5433Lottie5433 Community Connector Posts: 854 Part of The Mix Family

    @Lottie5433 I'm so so sorry your going through this all right now. You are still a kind person, feeling distraught so much about accidentally possibly hurting somebody's feelings. that's a gentle soul right there.

    But if he wanted to give up on you, he would have just blocked you and moved on. Instead, he's crying and opening up about how he feels to you. I'm useless at relationship advice, but for a man to open up and to be vulnerable to anybody, he loves and trusts that person. And i don't know what the comments were, but to be vulnerable in front of you and open up even after, from the sounds of it, he isn't giving up on you, or walking away, he's staying. I think that's one of the purest signs of love possible. You are not stupid Lottie, i don't know what the comments or thoughts are exactly, but no relationship is perfect. Nobody goes through one without slip ups or arguments or hasty comments. If you were to leave him, it would hurt him so much more than any comment by the sounds of it. Everything i've heard about him makes me think this guy is staying no matter what. And don't apologise for thoughts, you can't help having thoughts or what you think.

    you are a kind soul Lottie, and you clearly love him. Open up to him as he is with you. Because by the sounds of it, you have an amazing boyfriend who wants to stick with you through everything. Help him, and let him help you. And i'm so glad your safe. I know it's a difficult time right now, but you can make it through this. I'm glad your talking to shout. They can probably offer better advice.

    Sorry for the super late reply I appreciate it @DonnerKebab.
    In a way i wish he would just walk away and abandon me it will happen eventually, the sooner it happens the less I can hurt him.
    I felt so guilty and ashamed of it is just want to permanently leave. He keeps asking if im okay and if don't want to tell him how its making me feel that i might have hurt him and how its making me hav3 super negative thoughts towards myself. Like I dropped him home and my thoughts were really negative and bad
    i was driving home and i was speeding down every road at about 60/70mph, texting him whilst driving. Then when i was about 200 yards from the junction down to my house there was a car crash (the car had over turned) and all i could think about was i 'wish it was me'. Then i got in the house and he messaged me about what happened and just made me want to die, which is why i messaged shout but they were useless. So i stayed up silently crying and overthinking about it all.
    Everything that has happened has made me relapse in so many ways and I dont want to tell him that because it will make him feel bad and I dont want that - im just not going to eat, live of energy drinks or water, just mask everything, bottle it up and keep it to myself. Can't hurt anyone then

    Sorry for kind of just blurting everything out to you
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,928 Master Poster
    eylah wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    i haven’t gone to my therapy. im quitting everything. Cba with it :/

    @eylah please don't give up trying to get help. I know it's hard and it's so demoralising, but if you stop trying to seek help now, you might stay stuck like this. And i don't want that for you, I want you to be able to process these things, get into a better frame of mind with professional help, and to start to enjoy things in life again, cause you deserve to be happy. Please don't let those wankers yesterday stop you from getting the help you deserve friend. I'm here to talk if you want.

    Can i ask one favour? Give yourself a hug from me, and a pat on the back. You're amazing. <3

    ive already been told im being discharged by services so whats point? noone wants to help me. <3 and i just hugged myself like a absolute twat 🤣😭🤣 ( hugs ) 🫂

    @eylah i have now just hugged myself too. We can be twats together. 😂

    The mental health services in this country are abysmal, and so many people are being discharged when they still need help. We have some of the worst and most under pressure mental health services in the world. This is a little graph showing it. You are being let down by the system, but that doesn't mean you deserve to be let down. It just means the system is severely broken. I know it's not a lot, but i'm always here to talk about anything you want friend. You might be discharged by the failing system, but you'll never be alone with nobody to speak too, cause i'm here for you.

    8pq5h8hk5ljp.png

    the twat duo 🤣❤️

    im going beach today to chill <3

    @eylah hope you have a lovely time at the beach, fellow twat duo member 🤣❤️

    right whenever i speak to you now im gonna say hello twat member 🤣🤣❤️
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 927 What a way to make a living...
    eylah wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    i haven’t gone to my therapy. im quitting everything. Cba with it :/

    @eylah please don't give up trying to get help. I know it's hard and it's so demoralising, but if you stop trying to seek help now, you might stay stuck like this. And i don't want that for you, I want you to be able to process these things, get into a better frame of mind with professional help, and to start to enjoy things in life again, cause you deserve to be happy. Please don't let those wankers yesterday stop you from getting the help you deserve friend. I'm here to talk if you want.

    Can i ask one favour? Give yourself a hug from me, and a pat on the back. You're amazing. <3

    ive already been told im being discharged by services so whats point? noone wants to help me. <3 and i just hugged myself like a absolute twat 🤣😭🤣 ( hugs ) 🫂

    @eylah i have now just hugged myself too. We can be twats together. 😂

    The mental health services in this country are abysmal, and so many people are being discharged when they still need help. We have some of the worst and most under pressure mental health services in the world. This is a little graph showing it. You are being let down by the system, but that doesn't mean you deserve to be let down. It just means the system is severely broken. I know it's not a lot, but i'm always here to talk about anything you want friend. You might be discharged by the failing system, but you'll never be alone with nobody to speak too, cause i'm here for you.

    8pq5h8hk5ljp.png

    the twat duo 🤣❤️

    im going beach today to chill <3

    @eylah hope you have a lovely time at the beach, fellow twat duo member 🤣❤️

    right whenever i speak to you now im gonna say hello twat member 🤣🤣❤️

    @eylah 100%. It's the law now. The mods are gonna be so confused in support and group chats 🤣
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 2,798 Boards Guru
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    also @DonnerKebab im having an energy drink right now lol.

    @toffuna101 good stuff to keep yourself awake, but just make sure it doesn't become dependency, cause too much for too long can wreck your body. I speak from personal experience (admittedly it was 4 a day for several years, but the point stands 😂 )

    i drank one a day for three days in a row now. it just tastes so good. i wont drink one tomorrow as my mum is starting to get suspicious of my caffeine intake. she said to not buy energy drinks anymore as it can damage my heart which is true, it can. i know thats just her way of saying that shes concerned about me. @DonnerKebab

    @toffuna101 definitely true. At my intake, i was having heart palpitations daily after the first 3 months of it and weight gain from the sugar in them. Definitely good as a 1 off boost, but avoid making it a regular thing. Your mum is 100% right and i can say that from experience.

    that doesnt sound good. i definitely wont buy anymore energy drinks then unless if i receive an energy drink as a gift which will only be occasionally. the reason why i brought six cans of energy drinks was because they were really cheap at 69p each and i really liked sour apple as one of the energy drink flavours. plus online they sell them for double the price for six cans so it was way cheaper to get at home bargains in-person. so they kind of lured me in a way to for me drink more energy drinks. its a smart business move i must say. there was a deal to get three energy drinks for £1 but i didnt take that deal as i didnt know what flavour it was and the cans looked smaller. whilst the sour apple flavour energy drink had 500ml in one can which is worth it for 69p each. so yeah, they almost got me addicted to energy drinks i guess. im glad my mum and you warned me because if no one warned me i wouldve carried on drinking energy drinks. @DonnerKebab

    @toffuna101 yeah, once it becomes addiction, it's hard to steer away from, and the caffeine addiction sucks, because if you stop drinking it once addicted, even for a day, the caffeine withdrawal causes headaches and all sorts. Rarely taking them is fine, taking them everyday is not, no matter how cheap or tasty they are. They used to do energy drinks for 35p, or 4 for £1 of 250ml cans. Them being cheap and needing to stay awake is what drew me in and then addiction followed. It's a slippery slop that you should always try and avoid. I'm proud of you for avoiding going down the same struggle i did.

    the uk should do a study on energy drink addiction because of how cheap they are. dont they have sugar tax now where they raise the price of anything with sugar in it to prevent people from developing unhealthy eating habits? cause i think the same applies for energy drinks. correct me if im wrong. the caffeine withdrawal is real indeed. @DonnerKebab

    @toffuna101 long term caffeine intake actually changes brain chemistry a bit even. Weight gain, heart issues, all on the rise. And the tax isn't a huge amount. So it's 18p per litre. So 9p for a 500ml energy drink on top of it's normal price. So essentially, it would take the price of your energy drinks from 61p to 69p and that's all. Not enough to make a difference. And yeah, caffeine withdrawal is recognised as scientific fact with medical evidence backing it up. Nobody knows the true extent of the long term impact, just that there is one.

    @DonnerKebab wow thats concerning. why cant they just round up the 18p per litre to the nearest ten and make it be 20p per litre?

    I'm pretty sure it's because the government does not know what they hell they are doing 99% of the time or how to make effective laws.

    i agree, its a bit strange how its not 20p but ok. hopefully in a few decades we'll find out more about caffeine withdrawal. @DonnerKebab

    anyways ive had a think about childline and i think its probably best to take a break from the service as a whole. because quite frankly i need a break from them after how they treated me. i know not all childline volunteers are bad as ive talked with some genuinely good ones, but the childline counsellors who do make my experience of using the service bad bring my mood down a lot.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,928 Master Poster
    eylah wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    i haven’t gone to my therapy. im quitting everything. Cba with it :/

    @eylah please don't give up trying to get help. I know it's hard and it's so demoralising, but if you stop trying to seek help now, you might stay stuck like this. And i don't want that for you, I want you to be able to process these things, get into a better frame of mind with professional help, and to start to enjoy things in life again, cause you deserve to be happy. Please don't let those wankers yesterday stop you from getting the help you deserve friend. I'm here to talk if you want.

    Can i ask one favour? Give yourself a hug from me, and a pat on the back. You're amazing. <3

    ive already been told im being discharged by services so whats point? noone wants to help me. <3 and i just hugged myself like a absolute twat 🤣😭🤣 ( hugs ) 🫂

    @eylah i have now just hugged myself too. We can be twats together. 😂

    The mental health services in this country are abysmal, and so many people are being discharged when they still need help. We have some of the worst and most under pressure mental health services in the world. This is a little graph showing it. You are being let down by the system, but that doesn't mean you deserve to be let down. It just means the system is severely broken. I know it's not a lot, but i'm always here to talk about anything you want friend. You might be discharged by the failing system, but you'll never be alone with nobody to speak too, cause i'm here for you.

    8pq5h8hk5ljp.png

    the twat duo 🤣❤️

    im going beach today to chill <3

    @eylah hope you have a lovely time at the beach, fellow twat duo member 🤣❤️

    right whenever i speak to you now im gonna say hello twat member 🤣🤣❤️

    @eylah 100%. It's the law now. The mods are gonna be so confused in support and group chats 🤣

    haha literally 🤣❤️
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,189 Community Veteran
    Emma doesn’t want me to leave college because she’s concerned about my ability to stay alive 😂
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,189 Community Veteran
    hlr1vl3nrwym.jpeg
    khb1gwbsdplv.jpeg
    j115ync9aov0.jpeg
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 927 What a way to make a living...
    Lottie5433 wrote: »

    @Lottie5433 I'm so so sorry your going through this all right now. You are still a kind person, feeling distraught so much about accidentally possibly hurting somebody's feelings. that's a gentle soul right there.

    But if he wanted to give up on you, he would have just blocked you and moved on. Instead, he's crying and opening up about how he feels to you. I'm useless at relationship advice, but for a man to open up and to be vulnerable to anybody, he loves and trusts that person. And i don't know what the comments were, but to be vulnerable in front of you and open up even after, from the sounds of it, he isn't giving up on you, or walking away, he's staying. I think that's one of the purest signs of love possible. You are not stupid Lottie, i don't know what the comments or thoughts are exactly, but no relationship is perfect. Nobody goes through one without slip ups or arguments or hasty comments. If you were to leave him, it would hurt him so much more than any comment by the sounds of it. Everything i've heard about him makes me think this guy is staying no matter what. And don't apologise for thoughts, you can't help having thoughts or what you think.

    you are a kind soul Lottie, and you clearly love him. Open up to him as he is with you. Because by the sounds of it, you have an amazing boyfriend who wants to stick with you through everything. Help him, and let him help you. And i'm so glad your safe. I know it's a difficult time right now, but you can make it through this. I'm glad your talking to shout. They can probably offer better advice.

    Sorry for the super late reply I appreciate it @DonnerKebab.
    In a way i wish he would just walk away and abandon me it will happen eventually, the sooner it happens the less I can hurt him.
    I felt so guilty and ashamed of it is just want to permanently leave. He keeps asking if im okay and if don't want to tell him how its making me feel that i might have hurt him and how its making me hav3 super negative thoughts towards myself. Like I dropped him home and my thoughts were really negative and bad
    i was driving home and i was speeding down every road at about 60/70mph, texting him whilst driving. Then when i was about 200 yards from the junction down to my house there was a car crash (the car had over turned) and all i could think about was i 'wish it was me'. Then i got in the house and he messaged me about what happened and just made me want to die, which is why i messaged shout but they were useless. So i stayed up silently crying and overthinking about it all.
    Everything that has happened has made me relapse in so many ways and I dont want to tell him that because it will make him feel bad and I dont want that - im just not going to eat, live of energy drinks or water, just mask everything, bottle it up and keep it to myself. Can't hurt anyone then

    Sorry for kind of just blurting everything out to you

    @Lottie5433 never say sorry for blurting everything out. You deserve a place to vent and friends to support you. Don't worry about the late reply. I've replied even later than that countless times 🤣

    I know you want to walk away so he doesn't get hurt, and i know that's because you care deeply about him, but he would be more hurt by you walking away and no longer being there with him than anything else. I can only say this as a guy, but to be vulnerable in front of you, a girl, and stick with you as much as he has, he's not going anywhere. He loves you to the moon and back so your stuck with him now. Can't get rid of him. What would hurt him the most is if you did leave him.

    He loves you and was open with his vulnerability to you, and i think he's the right person to be fully vulnerable with yourself. He loves you and wants to help you. Please don't text and drive, please don't speed, and please take care of yourself. He will help you through your struggles, and you help him through his. That's what a relationship is. If not for you, then for him. Growing up as a carer, i had the same thoughts of wanting to die, every day for 10 years, and all that pulled me through it is that i was needed as a carer for my brother. Staying here for others is a powerful motivator, and it kept me here until i learnt to pull through things for myself.

    I am so so sorry you are going through those feelings right now. of fear of abandonment, of thoughts of wanting to not be here anymore, and i am so so sorry because it is hell. I'm sending you a virtual hug, and a reminder that this man loves you, and nothing would hurt him more than you not eating and bottling it up until it reaches breaking point for you. He wants to help you heal, and stay by your side. Men like that are rare, and you deserve all that love from him.

    I'm sorry if this sounds like rambling. I'm here to talk to about anything Lottie. Sending a virtual hug, i am so proud of you for being open about all of this. I know how hard it is to open up.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 927 What a way to make a living...
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    also @DonnerKebab im having an energy drink right now lol.

    @toffuna101 good stuff to keep yourself awake, but just make sure it doesn't become dependency, cause too much for too long can wreck your body. I speak from personal experience (admittedly it was 4 a day for several years, but the point stands 😂 )

    i drank one a day for three days in a row now. it just tastes so good. i wont drink one tomorrow as my mum is starting to get suspicious of my caffeine intake. she said to not buy energy drinks anymore as it can damage my heart which is true, it can. i know thats just her way of saying that shes concerned about me. @DonnerKebab

    @toffuna101 definitely true. At my intake, i was having heart palpitations daily after the first 3 months of it and weight gain from the sugar in them. Definitely good as a 1 off boost, but avoid making it a regular thing. Your mum is 100% right and i can say that from experience.

    that doesnt sound good. i definitely wont buy anymore energy drinks then unless if i receive an energy drink as a gift which will only be occasionally. the reason why i brought six cans of energy drinks was because they were really cheap at 69p each and i really liked sour apple as one of the energy drink flavours. plus online they sell them for double the price for six cans so it was way cheaper to get at home bargains in-person. so they kind of lured me in a way to for me drink more energy drinks. its a smart business move i must say. there was a deal to get three energy drinks for £1 but i didnt take that deal as i didnt know what flavour it was and the cans looked smaller. whilst the sour apple flavour energy drink had 500ml in one can which is worth it for 69p each. so yeah, they almost got me addicted to energy drinks i guess. im glad my mum and you warned me because if no one warned me i wouldve carried on drinking energy drinks. @DonnerKebab

    @toffuna101 yeah, once it becomes addiction, it's hard to steer away from, and the caffeine addiction sucks, because if you stop drinking it once addicted, even for a day, the caffeine withdrawal causes headaches and all sorts. Rarely taking them is fine, taking them everyday is not, no matter how cheap or tasty they are. They used to do energy drinks for 35p, or 4 for £1 of 250ml cans. Them being cheap and needing to stay awake is what drew me in and then addiction followed. It's a slippery slop that you should always try and avoid. I'm proud of you for avoiding going down the same struggle i did.

    the uk should do a study on energy drink addiction because of how cheap they are. dont they have sugar tax now where they raise the price of anything with sugar in it to prevent people from developing unhealthy eating habits? cause i think the same applies for energy drinks. correct me if im wrong. the caffeine withdrawal is real indeed. @DonnerKebab

    @toffuna101 long term caffeine intake actually changes brain chemistry a bit even. Weight gain, heart issues, all on the rise. And the tax isn't a huge amount. So it's 18p per litre. So 9p for a 500ml energy drink on top of it's normal price. So essentially, it would take the price of your energy drinks from 61p to 69p and that's all. Not enough to make a difference. And yeah, caffeine withdrawal is recognised as scientific fact with medical evidence backing it up. Nobody knows the true extent of the long term impact, just that there is one.

    @DonnerKebab wow thats concerning. why cant they just round up the 18p per litre to the nearest ten and make it be 20p per litre?

    I'm pretty sure it's because the government does not know what they hell they are doing 99% of the time or how to make effective laws.

    i agree, its a bit strange how its not 20p but ok. hopefully in a few decades we'll find out more about caffeine withdrawal. @DonnerKebab

    anyways ive had a think about childline and i think its probably best to take a break from the service as a whole. because quite frankly i need a break from them after how they treated me. i know not all childline volunteers are bad as ive talked with some genuinely good ones, but the childline counsellors who do make my experience of using the service bad bring my mood down a lot.

    @toffuna101 you are right. And even at 20p, it won't make a huge difference even if they change it. The sad truth is, the sugar tax was a money grab. If it was too high, it would deter people buying sugary drinks outright which was the stated aim, and that would mean nobody paying that tax as they wouldn't be buying sugary drinks. So they kept it low enough that people would still buy them the same as before, and it would be extra money put into the treasury. They get a bit of extra money, and they get to claim they are taking action, when the reality is it's a cash grab with no intention of reducing sugary drink intake. It's sad.

    And i think your making a good decision with Childline. It's demoralising, i imagine, going to a helpline which is already tough for a lot of people, only to be hung up on mid sentence and ignored. The more that happens, the more irritated and depressed it will make people, especially those in tough spots. Giving it a break for a while is the right thing tofunna for your mental health given they acted that way. It's a very mature decision. If you'd like, i can post a list of helplines for you as alternatives.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 927 What a way to make a living...
    River wrote: »
    Emma doesn’t want me to leave college because she’s concerned about my ability to stay alive 😂

    @River she really does care for you, you know. This isn't one of those assholes who as soon as college is up says bye bye. This is one of those people who seems to genuinely care. If your not able to stay at college, then maybe it's worth exchanging emails or numbers and asking if she'd stay in touch after you left. Even if only as a way in which she can check in on you. Btw, lovely countryside pictures. You 100% have elite level photography skills.
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 2,798 Boards Guru
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    also @DonnerKebab im having an energy drink right now lol.

    @toffuna101 good stuff to keep yourself awake, but just make sure it doesn't become dependency, cause too much for too long can wreck your body. I speak from personal experience (admittedly it was 4 a day for several years, but the point stands 😂 )

    i drank one a day for three days in a row now. it just tastes so good. i wont drink one tomorrow as my mum is starting to get suspicious of my caffeine intake. she said to not buy energy drinks anymore as it can damage my heart which is true, it can. i know thats just her way of saying that shes concerned about me. @DonnerKebab

    @toffuna101 definitely true. At my intake, i was having heart palpitations daily after the first 3 months of it and weight gain from the sugar in them. Definitely good as a 1 off boost, but avoid making it a regular thing. Your mum is 100% right and i can say that from experience.

    that doesnt sound good. i definitely wont buy anymore energy drinks then unless if i receive an energy drink as a gift which will only be occasionally. the reason why i brought six cans of energy drinks was because they were really cheap at 69p each and i really liked sour apple as one of the energy drink flavours. plus online they sell them for double the price for six cans so it was way cheaper to get at home bargains in-person. so they kind of lured me in a way to for me drink more energy drinks. its a smart business move i must say. there was a deal to get three energy drinks for £1 but i didnt take that deal as i didnt know what flavour it was and the cans looked smaller. whilst the sour apple flavour energy drink had 500ml in one can which is worth it for 69p each. so yeah, they almost got me addicted to energy drinks i guess. im glad my mum and you warned me because if no one warned me i wouldve carried on drinking energy drinks. @DonnerKebab

    @toffuna101 yeah, once it becomes addiction, it's hard to steer away from, and the caffeine addiction sucks, because if you stop drinking it once addicted, even for a day, the caffeine withdrawal causes headaches and all sorts. Rarely taking them is fine, taking them everyday is not, no matter how cheap or tasty they are. They used to do energy drinks for 35p, or 4 for £1 of 250ml cans. Them being cheap and needing to stay awake is what drew me in and then addiction followed. It's a slippery slop that you should always try and avoid. I'm proud of you for avoiding going down the same struggle i did.

    the uk should do a study on energy drink addiction because of how cheap they are. dont they have sugar tax now where they raise the price of anything with sugar in it to prevent people from developing unhealthy eating habits? cause i think the same applies for energy drinks. correct me if im wrong. the caffeine withdrawal is real indeed. @DonnerKebab

    @toffuna101 long term caffeine intake actually changes brain chemistry a bit even. Weight gain, heart issues, all on the rise. And the tax isn't a huge amount. So it's 18p per litre. So 9p for a 500ml energy drink on top of it's normal price. So essentially, it would take the price of your energy drinks from 61p to 69p and that's all. Not enough to make a difference. And yeah, caffeine withdrawal is recognised as scientific fact with medical evidence backing it up. Nobody knows the true extent of the long term impact, just that there is one.

    @DonnerKebab wow thats concerning. why cant they just round up the 18p per litre to the nearest ten and make it be 20p per litre?

    I'm pretty sure it's because the government does not know what they hell they are doing 99% of the time or how to make effective laws.

    i agree, its a bit strange how its not 20p but ok. hopefully in a few decades we'll find out more about caffeine withdrawal. @DonnerKebab

    anyways ive had a think about childline and i think its probably best to take a break from the service as a whole. because quite frankly i need a break from them after how they treated me. i know not all childline volunteers are bad as ive talked with some genuinely good ones, but the childline counsellors who do make my experience of using the service bad bring my mood down a lot.

    @toffuna101 you are right. And even at 20p, it won't make a huge difference even if they change it. The sad truth is, the sugar tax was a money grab. If it was too high, it would deter people buying sugary drinks outright which was the stated aim, and that would mean nobody paying that tax as they wouldn't be buying sugary drinks. So they kept it low enough that people would still buy them the same as before, and it would be extra money put into the treasury. They get a bit of extra money, and they get to claim they are taking action, when the reality is it's a cash grab with no intention of reducing sugary drink intake. It's sad.

    And i think your making a good decision with Childline. It's demoralising, i imagine, going to a helpline which is already tough for a lot of people, only to be hung up on mid sentence and ignored. The more that happens, the more irritated and depressed it will make people, especially those in tough spots. Giving it a break for a while is the right thing tofunna for your mental health given they acted that way. It's a very mature decision. If you'd like, i can post a list of helplines for you as alternatives.

    yeah. nah im good with the helplines, i feel like i know enough helplines honestly. @DonnerKebab
    i was gonna post something about the thoughts that ive been experiencing but confidentiality would probably need to be broken and it would get taken down.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 927 What a way to make a living...
    @toffuna101 i know it isn't quite the same, but you could remove the parts that would get confidentiality broken and the post deleted, and vent about everything else. I know it's not ideal, but it beats venting about nothing. If even 1 minor thing is vented about and you get it off your chest, it's a win.
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,189 Community Veteran
    I’m craving something I’m allergic too
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 927 What a way to make a living...
    edited 7:02PM
    River wrote: »
    I’m craving something I’m allergic too

    @River

    NOOO River, the sweet and sour chicken balls aren't worth it. NOO

    (I've just realised this will sound very odd and make no sense if you haven't watched breaking bad so sorry if you ain't watched it 🤣)

    pk9jcfwq9tjd.png
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,189 Community Veteran
    @DonnerKebab oopsiessssss, it was so yummyyyyyyyyy
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 927 What a way to make a living...
    River wrote: »
    @DonnerKebab oopsiessssss, it was so yummyyyyyyyyy
    🤣

    I'm not sure how to put it, but the gif where walt falls to the floor (this really won't make any sense if you haven't watch breaking bad 🤣)

    But seriously, i get it. You might want to try learning to cook a bit of chinese food yourself and trying to remove different ingredients to see which it is your allergic to. I did it and pinpointed the sickness feeling i always got after to msg, so cut it out, and i could eat it sickness free. I can drop you a few YouTube tutorials i learnt from if you want? Nobody should have to live without beef in black bean sauce. 🤣
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,189 Community Veteran
    TW// animal deaths -
    One of the hamsters had a stroke we think and now there not well at all, mum said we would have to get him put down so he’s not suffering but I don’t want him to be thrown in a bin after :( what do they do with him after
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 927 What a way to make a living...
    River wrote: »
    TW// animal deaths -
    One of the hamsters had a stroke we think and now there not well at all, mum said we would have to get him put down so he’s not suffering but I don’t want him to be thrown in a bin after :( what do they do with him after

    @River i'm so sorry river. I had a hamster once. My brother ended up getting her. It's very sad when you lose one of them. my mum never told me what she did with the remains sadly, but i have my suspicions that the black bin played a role, though i can't prove it :'( . I hated it, but the hamster was gone at that point, and all what counted is my memories of the hamster, not the remains as hard as it was. With the vets, they put them down and they can either hand them to you for burial, they can cremate them, or they can dispose of the remains in a sanitary and respectful way in accordance with the law. It really depends on a few things, but those are the 3 options they'll offer i think. Again, i'm so sorry for your loss.
  • Lottie5433Lottie5433 Community Connector Posts: 854 Part of The Mix Family
    Im feeling so shit about everything 😩
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,189 Community Veteran
    @DonnerKebab do you have to pay for cremation
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 927 What a way to make a living...
    River wrote: »
    @DonnerKebab do you have to pay for cremation

    @River I think so, but if you have pet insurance, it might cover it all.
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,189 Community Veteran
    Sadly I don’t @DonnerKebab
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 927 What a way to make a living...
    Lottie5433 wrote: »
    Im feeling so shit about everything 😩

    @Lottie5433 i'm really sorry your going through this. Your an amazing person my friend. I'm here to talk and vent to. And by the way, don't think i didn't notice how brave it was of you to vent everything you did. Your a strong person Lottie. Don't forget that.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 927 What a way to make a living...
    River wrote: »
    Sadly I don’t @DonnerKebab

    @River I think if it's a hamster it would be cheap. But i've never done it myself. I've got this site that you might want to look at though that could help. Your vet will be able to tell you exact costs but this is a decent guide i think: https://mypetsashes.co.uk/pets-ashes/cost-of-pet-cremation/
  • Lottie5433Lottie5433 Community Connector Posts: 854 Part of The Mix Family
    @DonnerKebab I cant vent ill just hurt everyone who reads it
    Im just too much for anyone to handle i make stupid comments, do stupid things to "cope" and "deal" with everything everything is always my fault im failing
    i juet ready to give up
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 927 What a way to make a living...
    Lottie5433 wrote: »
    @DonnerKebab I cant vent ill just hurt everyone who reads it
    Im just too much for anyone to handle i make stupid comments, do stupid things to "cope" and "deal" with everything everything is always my fault im failing
    i juet ready to give up

    @Lottie5433 that isn't true i promise. You are a special person. And you have hurt nobody here i promise. You are a kind soul, and you deserve the world of kindness back friend. And i'll explain why. Cause even though right now, whilst your in a world of pain and depression, you are still thinking about other people and not wanting to hurt them. Even when hurting yourself. You are that sort of kind and caring person that even that sort of pain, doesn't change that core kindness in you, and that is something that is so special about you. I swear, you haven't hurt anybody, and won't hurt by venting. I vented a short while ago, so did so many others about there struggles. You deserve this place to vent and to get support, because your worth supporting Lottie. Your just struggling to see it right now.

    And believe me, everybody makes stupid comments from time to time. Doing stupid thing, can't name one person who hasn't. It isn't your fault that your struggling, same as it wasn't my fault all the struggles i went through. I call it something called common denominator syndrome. When everything has been so shit, for so long, so many systemic failings, not supporting those who need it, eventually those people who are left to struggle start to blame themselves. It ruins their self worth and self confidence and leads them to thinking they don't deserve help, and develop certain behaviours. But Lottie, you deserve all the help and support in the world. We all care about you here, and we all see what your struggling to. That you are worth the world, and that you deserve support and care. Your boyfriend see's it too. So many people see how amazing of a person you are, you're just struggling to see what everybody else does right now, at what i call rock bottom.

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