Anybody want to vent or chat about anything?

eylah · May 31

Redemption wrote: »

eylah wrote: »

Sian321 wrote: »

@eylah , I hear you, and we're here to be with you in that sadness rather than try to change it. What you've described really does sound so hard - not being able to work and feeling stuck in this world wondering what your purpose is here. Existential questions like that can be so deeply human and also, agonising when we don't know the answers. What do you think you might like for your purpose to be? Or is there anything day-to-day / any relationships day-to-day that help give a sense of meaning?

You're doing so well to talk about this, and its positive you know those services are there if you do feel unsafe.

i mean i have no friends noone likes me i just get bullied on by anyone who i try to make friends with so idk what i want out of life. i have noone i cant do anything i enjoy bc of physical illness its just shit rly my life is just shit.

We all like and care about you

i don’t think that’s true tbh.

Redemption · May 31

eylah wrote: »

Redemption wrote: »

eylah wrote: »

Sian321 wrote: »

@eylah , I hear you, and we're here to be with you in that sadness rather than try to change it. What you've described really does sound so hard - not being able to work and feeling stuck in this world wondering what your purpose is here. Existential questions like that can be so deeply human and also, agonising when we don't know the answers. What do you think you might like for your purpose to be? Or is there anything day-to-day / any relationships day-to-day that help give a sense of meaning?

You're doing so well to talk about this, and its positive you know those services are there if you do feel unsafe.

i mean i have no friends noone likes me i just get bullied on by anyone who i try to make friends with so idk what i want out of life. i have noone i cant do anything i enjoy bc of physical illness its just shit rly my life is just shit.

We all like and care about you

i don’t think that’s true tbh.

We do why don't you think it's true? I think you're super kind and amazing

shannon_164 · May 31

Rose113 wrote: »

@shannon_164 aww aha I hope you can get her out soon then you can bake till your hearts content

well i’m off to a great start, i may have bought vanilla extract because it has a blue label thinking it was blue food colouring - my sister just said “why’d you buy vanilla extract if she doesn’t like vanilla” which then made me realise maybe the blue label didn’t mean blue food colouring lol

shannon_164 · May 31

eylah wrote: »

Redemption wrote: »

eylah wrote: »

Sian321 wrote: »

@eylah , I hear you, and we're here to be with you in that sadness rather than try to change it. What you've described really does sound so hard - not being able to work and feeling stuck in this world wondering what your purpose is here. Existential questions like that can be so deeply human and also, agonising when we don't know the answers. What do you think you might like for your purpose to be? Or is there anything day-to-day / any relationships day-to-day that help give a sense of meaning?

You're doing so well to talk about this, and its positive you know those services are there if you do feel unsafe.

i mean i have no friends noone likes me i just get bullied on by anyone who i try to make friends with so idk what i want out of life. i have noone i cant do anything i enjoy bc of physical illness its just shit rly my life is just shit.

We all like and care about you

i don’t think that’s true tbh.

i know it might not feel like it’s true @eylah but i promise you we do care about you - i for sure care about you!

eylah · May 31

im sry just ppl saying shit to me it’s making me sad. ( not on here )

shannon_164 · May 31

@eylah you have nothing to be sorry for! if you want to talk about it, we’re here

Redemption · May 31

Rose113 wrote: »

When I first joined the mix late 2021/early 2022 ish the mix was honestly a nice place and tbf I do prefer the mix with how it is now obviously some things I don’t agree with but mostly it is a nicer atmosphere. There was a lot of issues behind the scenes when I first joined but people seemed to genuinely ish like me but that changed in 2023 when something happened (non member related) and people seemed to not like me and I never even knew what I did wrong but it still sticks to me this very day and when the incident did happen it happened around this time of year (happened July) it’s always gonna stick with me and nothing members or staff do will change that and I know it’s stupid and pathetic but when it happened I sobbed for weeks and would cry myself to sleep and even know when things trigger my feelings to what happened or remember do to like an anniversary it still makes me cry. I probably can’t go into detail even tho it wouldn’t be against guidelines but yeah little back story I suppose to another reason why I don’t feel able to open up on the mix

Was this me ? @Rose113 if you don't mind saying.

Redemption · May 31

@DonnerKebab how's you bro?

Rose113 · May 31

@Redemption no it was non member related stuff that was why I was able to share.

eylah · May 31

shannon_164 wrote: »

@eylah you have nothing to be sorry for! if you want to talk about it, we’re here

oh thankyou so much it means a lot to me. i just need a hug 🫂

Redemption · May 31

Rose113 wrote: »

@Redemption no it was non member related stuff that was why I was able to share.

Im sorry to hear it happened ❤️ anyway

Redemption · May 31

eylah wrote: »

shannon_164 wrote: »

@eylah you have nothing to be sorry for! if you want to talk about it, we’re here

oh thankyou so much it means a lot to me. i just need a hug 🫂

Hugs from me too @eylah

shannon_164 · May 31

eylah wrote: »

shannon_164 wrote: »

@eylah you have nothing to be sorry for! if you want to talk about it, we’re here

oh thankyou so much it means a lot to me. i just need a hug 🫂

i know it’s not the same @eylah but i’m sending you the biggest virtual hug ever right now

eylah · May 31

hugs to you all

Rose113 · May 31

Idek wtf I’ve done wrong

shannon_164 · May 31

@Rose113 is everything ok? we're here for you

Rose113 · May 31

@shannon_164 my college “friend” has been a bitch to me all day for no reason and then she’s gone and fucking blocked me like wtf tell me what I’ve done wrong before you go off on a bloody tantrum. She was fine and dandy with me yesterday but nope today she’s been so rude and blocked me and got another person to block me

shannon_164 · May 31

wow @Rose113 i’m really sorry you’re dealing with that. that kind of sudden switch in behaviour, especially without any explanation, is so confusing and hurtful. you definitely don’t deserve to be treated like that, especially if you’ve done nothing wrong. it’s good that you’re standing up for yourself and asking for clarity instead of just letting it slide. hopefully she realises how unfair she’s being and either reaches out or gives you the closure you need. i’m here for you if you want to talk more about it!

Rose113 · May 31

@shannon_164 i genuinely can’t think what I’ve done wrong, anything mental health related I always tell her to tell me if it’s too much (she constantly asked about my mh) and if k told her about the college stuff then I’ve not done anything wrong with that. She kept picking a further college course based on what me and k was doing and only followed us even tho she wanted to do something else she just didn’t want to be alone so I didn’t tell her I applied for another college as I want her to do what she wants not what I’m doing but if she’s found out that and is so mad at me then why can’t she just say and speak to me about it?? I don’t get it 😭

Rose113 · May 31

Got urges to relapse, I’m safe so please don’t worry about me.

shannon_164 · May 31

honestly @Rose113 you haven’t done anything wrong from what you’ve said. you were actually trying to look out for her by not influencing her decisions, that’s really considerate, not malicious. it sounds like you’ve always been open with her and mindful of her feelings, especially around mental health stuff. if she’s upset about something, the least she could do is talk to you instead of going silent and blocking you! you deserve clarity, not confusion. i know this feels awful, but you’ve handled it with a lot of thought and care, try not to be too hard on yourself!

i’m glad you're safe, but i hear that it’s gotten to the point where you’re even having those urges. you don’t deserve to carry all this pain alone. we are here for you, always. please try to be kind to yourself tonight, you’ve been dealing with a lot, and it’s ok to feel overwhelmed, but you don’t have to go through it alone. if it helps, pls keep talking here - we all care about you! do you have any distractions you could try?

Rose113 · May 31

I said to the other person if you don’t want to be my friend then feel free to free to say and all I got was “I’m going night”

I give up I cba and I’m not going college on Monday

shannon_164 · May 31

aw @Rose113 that’s honestly so unfair! you gave her a chance to just be honest, and she completely shut you down instead. no wonder you’re feeling done with it all, but please don’t let her behaviour stop you from doing what’s best for you, not going to college on monday might feel like a way to escape, but it's important that you don't miss out or fall behind because of how someone else treated you. you’re allowed to feel hurt and exhausted, but i’m really proud of how you’re handling it all

Rose113 · May 31

I can’t deal with any of it tonight, just got home and I’m gonna burst into tears as soon as I go into my room

shannon_164 · May 31

@Rose113 its ok if you need to cry and that you don’t feel able to deal with it all tonight, you don’t have to! pls be kind to yourself, you deserve kindness

eylah · May 31

oh life is so miserable.

shannon_164 · May 31

eylah wrote: »

oh life is so miserable.

i’m here if you want to share anything @eylah

eylah · May 31

shannon_164 wrote: »

eylah wrote: »

oh life is so miserable.

i’m here if you want to share anything @eylah

thankyou so much i hope you’re okay

Rose113 · May 31

Spoke to calm, they were trying to care yet tough love don’t work on me and I felt very told off even though they were genuinely caring 🥲

eylah · June 1

been a chaotic night

feel like i have to do everything for everyone and i get 0 support back ( not meaning here i mean irl ) hoping to go sleep now im exhausted.

thankyou all for the ongoing support!

Anybody want to vent or chat about anything?

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