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Preparing for uni
AnonymousToe
Posts: 2,381 Boards Champion
I’m starting university in a few weeks and I’m so overwhelmed. I don’t feel at all ready, there’s so much left to do. I need to…
- learn to cook basic meals
- finish shopping for stuff to take
- Revise from my A levels since I’ve been on a gap year and have forgotten everything 😭
- Pack, somehow, when there’s no space anywhere in my house to do that
- learn how to clean etc
… it doesn’t sound like a lot but it’s just terrifying to be doing everything on my own. My parents don’t teach me life skills and apparently that’s my own fault but I have no independence and in a month I’ll be living on my own. I have no idea what’s going to happen. I know I need this change and I need time away from my parents (and the house) so I can grow up a bit but it’s gonna be intense. I’m scared I won’t make any friends. I’m scared the workload will be too much. I’m scared I’ll get lonely. I’m scared I’ll be terrible at the academics. It’s just going to be so much. I’m excited to have control over my own life but I just feel like it’s all going to go horribly wrong. I’m just so overwhelmed.
- learn to cook basic meals
- finish shopping for stuff to take
- Revise from my A levels since I’ve been on a gap year and have forgotten everything 😭
- Pack, somehow, when there’s no space anywhere in my house to do that
- learn how to clean etc
… it doesn’t sound like a lot but it’s just terrifying to be doing everything on my own. My parents don’t teach me life skills and apparently that’s my own fault but I have no independence and in a month I’ll be living on my own. I have no idea what’s going to happen. I know I need this change and I need time away from my parents (and the house) so I can grow up a bit but it’s gonna be intense. I’m scared I won’t make any friends. I’m scared the workload will be too much. I’m scared I’ll get lonely. I’m scared I’ll be terrible at the academics. It’s just going to be so much. I’m excited to have control over my own life but I just feel like it’s all going to go horribly wrong. I’m just so overwhelmed.
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Comments
Also, most university courses start from the basics as not everyone will have studied a level in the subject so try and not stress about what you have forgotten as you will likely be able to build on your knowledge in the first year. I know personally I didn't study psychology before university and found the vast majority of the content was covered at beginners level.
University is a great place to make friends, especially in the first couple of weeks/ months as everyone is in the same boat and looking to make friends, there is also such a diverse group of people with lots of different interests and lots of environments to mix with people.
If there is anything you want advice or reassurance about I am here for you and will help where I can
It's a big time getting ready to go to uni and how you're feeling is totally understandable - it's such a big change! It sounds like you've planned for things really well though. I left home without even thinking about needing to learn to cook and lived on pasta bake for a year
Just take one thing at a time - I think you have the right attitude towards it and that's the main thing!
You've got this!
“People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses.”
- Brene Brown
Thank you for reaching out! Going to university is definitely a big life change and adjustment, and it can be overwhelming and intense. Many people are in the same boat as you, living independently away from home for the first time, learning how to cook and clean, finding a work-life balance and managing their own accommodation and finances.
Your worries about not being able to make friends, being lonely, and being overwhelmed with the workload and academics are also common concerns among students throughout their entire time at university. So you are not alone in this. The university student support services and your personal tutor will be able to advise you and direct you to the appropriate resources if needed.
I am glad you recognise this change is needed for you, to be away from home and have the chance to embrace adulthood as well as the excitement of having more control over yourself. When you are struggling remind yourself of this, and take each hurdle as it comes. Be kind to yourself during this very big transition too, there is no wrong or right way, things happen for people at different times and in different ways, and that is okay.
Please keep us updated on how things go, we all wish you the best on this new chapter of your life!
Best wishes,
Fiona ◡̈
Not sure if this will help but I've been taking videos as I've been learning the appliances such as how to turn on and adjust settings on things like the oven, hob, microwave, washing machines, dryers etc. I've then made a folder in my phone to refer back to whenever I need.
I also have a notebook on things to remember about my accommodation such as where they keep the food waste bags, when their weekly fire alarm testing is, instructions for the microwave, phone numbers and key contacts for maintenance etc.
I also still need to go through the DSA process so I totally get you there, if you need to you could always email student support to help you out.
I also found it useful to look at my local shops to remind myself of what foods I like so I know what to buy.
I found that it's often easier to know what you're missing when you actually get your accommodation e.g. toothbrush holder and other very specific things.
I will be honest I was pretty scared about independent living but it wasn't as bad as I thought.
I hope some of this helps, well done for reaching out! I'm sure a lot of people are in the same boat.
Make sure to keep us updated on how you get on!
University is all about being independent, and I hope that you will begin to enjoy the journey. Do not worry, you got this! Take things slow and dont rush. Reach out to people who are in the same boat as you, and see if they can come up with solutions.
The DSA stuff is at least moving forwards and we’ve bought most of what I need now. It’s just starting to get really scary because it’s September tomorrow. I’m scared. I’m excited to live my own life and be free from this house but I can’t help but think about everything that could go wrong. Nobody’s going to like me.
I wanted to remind you that the way you feel right now doesn’t define how things will actually turn out. You got the grades and worked hard to get into university, which shows that you are more than capable. It’s okay to doubt yourself sometimes, but try to trust in your abilities - you’re stronger than you think.
As for making friends, university is full of different kinds of people with different interests. You don’t have to go to parties or do what everyone else is doing to find your group. Just for comparison, I was only 17 when I started uni (the school system is slightly different in Scotland meaning lots of my friends were 17 when starting uni!). This meant that I was actually banned from attending a lot of fresher events because they wouldn't let you in if they were serving alcohol (even if I wasn't trying to be served!!) But I found other ways to make friends through my course, joining some clubs and societies, and also through jobs! I worked part-time as a Student Ambassador and absolutely LOVED it. It was so fun, we just messed around at Open Days and got paid essentially. I'm still friends with quite a few people I met through that job. The point is that there will be others who feel just like you do, and they’ll be looking for friends who share similar interests. I think you'll be surprised at how many people you’ll meet who appreciate and like you for who you are.
The fact that you’re excited to live your own life is a sign of your readiness for this next chapter. It’s okay to be scared about the unknown, but try to balance those fears with excitement about the opportunities ahead. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and it’s okay to ask for help or support whenever you need it. You’ve already made so much progress with the DSA stuff, and that’s a big step forward. Take things one day at a time, and don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ve got this, and you’re going to find your place at university. It might take a little time, but trust that you’ll get there.
your worth everything to us. im sry things are hard rn
it's absolutely not pathetic to feel this way - remember that it's more than okay to take breaks when you need them, even if they are short ones just to re-sort out everything in your head and get going again.
sending hugs and remember we're here to give as much support as we can - you've got this
Thinking of you and sending strength and love for this transition to uni. You got this ❤️
How are you doing @AnonymousToe? We are here with you and you can take up as much space as you need