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Autism or “Autistic”

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    I don’t know why it’s beginning to upset you. Maybe you shouldn’t read this then. And sorry it’s beginning to upset you. But it’s well intended and All I’m saying it why risk the stigma with a label
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    edited July 2021
    I have autism & prefer “I’m autistic”
    You do not have autism you cannont decide what we do and don’t like so please stop acting like you can . It does not have so much stigma attached to it , there’s only stereotypes which you’d be foolish to believe.

    I don’t go round saying what people with BPD should be called so why should others be allowed to go around deciding what autistic people do and don’t like
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited July 2021
    https://www.autism.org.uk/
    Just posting this for those who wish to learn and understand autism :)
    Not posting to cause an issue, just raising awareness of what autism is
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    I have autism & prefer “I’m autistic”
    This Shaunie this is what upset me and if you can’t see why that’s upsetting then please educate yourself on autism
    Also it may sound bad but I’d say did a survey of everyone with autism and said what do they prefer and most says autistic. I would still carry on saying autism since I’m an outside and know the affect of saying it has and .
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2021
    Millie2787 wrote: »
    This Shaunie this is what upset me and if you can’t see why that’s upsetting then please educate yourself on autism
    Also it may sound bad but I’d say did a survey of everyone with autism and said what do they prefer and most says autistic. I would still carry on saying autism since I’m an outside and know the affect of saying it has and .

    Did you not read my reason?

    Millie2787 wrote: »
    You do not have autism you cannont decide what we do and don’t like so please stop acting like you can .

    I ain’t deciding. I purely said on how people who don’t have autism see it when you say autisic with the bad connotations so I don’t want people to view that as my mind has once instantly gone there. And I don’t want you guys to be generalise with the bad stigma- how is that upsetting. Im not assuming what others want to be called

    You have the chioce on what to read on here and if it’s upsetting simply don’t read it. But you can see im not trying to be rude. Im just here trying to understand and say my view
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2021
    Ok. But like Mike said. There is probably no right answer. You are not right and neither am I. So i don’t know why you’re acting like their is only one answer. I don’t know what it’s like with autism. I said I know what it like as someone who doesn’t have autism and their view literally all I said. But yeah sorry anyways
    Post edited by JustV on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2021
    This was meant to be a interesting debate it’s annoying when people think this is only one answer and don’t hear other opinions. Like I said I appreciate what you like and would call you that if it came to that. And appreciate your view.
    Post edited by JustV on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Every opinion is valid. Everyone's feelings and emotions are valid.
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    edited July 2021
    I have autism & prefer “I’m autistic”
    You Litreally said you wouldnt change the phrase even if there was a survey . Justification or not how can you not see that was an offensive remark to make ! Any autistic person would tell you that so it’s not just me
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Yeah but for the reason because I don’t want to generalise you guys. Are you not listening or reading anything I write lol
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2021
    You said I said I know what it’s like. I never said that. I don’t know what autism is like. You said I assume what people want to be called which I didn’t say that. You said I was stereotypical which never did. You said I think everyone with autism is serveve which didn’t say that either and finally you also said I am deciding what offends others which I also did not
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    StephanieStephanie Moderator Posts: 1,084 Wise Owl
    Hey Folks

    Just checking in on this thread.

    The initial post was an interesting and important topic, however it seems to have become side-tracked.

    Everyone has a right to their own opinions and views but it's also very important to respect each other if somebody has a different opinion and view to what you have.

    We care about everyone here :heart:
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Stephanie wrote: »
    Hey Folks

    Just checking in on this thread.

    The initial post was an interesting and important topic, however it seems to have become side-tracked.

    Everyone has a right to their own opinions and views but it's also very important to respect each other if somebody has a different opinion and view to what you have.

    We care about everyone here :heart:

    Thank you
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    I have autism & prefer “I’m autistic”
    I found these and thought might help explain this better :)

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    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2021
    Thanks for sharing. I thought I was going a bit mad not seeing how it is offensive. I was like what is everyone hating on me or what. But It’s quite funny cause those of you offended by me “calling”/ saying those with autism have said it about yourself. All you have to do is type in autism on the boards and it comes up of you offending yourself. Like being called autistic or not. You still are someone with autism so in no way that could be offensive and if you are you might need to ask yourself why.

    You either have or don’t have autism either way
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,617 Legendary Poster
    I don’t have autism but I do have another disability. If I wasn’t sure what someone preferred I might say something like (made up a name on the spot here) “Josh has autism”. Which I guess is person first but I never really thought about it. But I’m happy to use whatever someone prefers for themselves because there’s no right way of referring to someone really.

    But tbh as someone with a disability I don’t find either use of language particularly offensive. And I’d listen to the person once I was getting to know them and I’d use whatever term they wanted to use for themselves. Like I don’t think it’s offensive to call someone “disabled” (respectfully of course) rather than saying they have a disability. It just depends on what each person prefers. So like for example some visually impaired people prefer to be called “blind people” whereas others prefer to be referred to as “sight impaired” or a “person who is visually impaired”. And some people with hearing impairments prefer being referred to as “deaf” whereas others prefer “hard of hearing” or a “person with a hearing impairment”. Similar with autism I suppose.

    It’s a hard one because as @Mike said there’s no right answer and no matter how you refer to people there’s a good chance someone in the world will be offended or try to correct you if they’re not autistic themselves.

    Best thing is to get to know the person specifically and understand them and know what they prefer to be called. And don’t stress about terminology otherwise, because most people will politely correct you if they’re uncomfortable with the terms you’re using :)
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Yes. I think we may be overthinking this 😂. Like I think In real life if you say “someone with autism” I don’t think they’re going to even bother correcting you if they feel uncomfortable because it’s just what is used all the time and know it’s not done in a harmful way. So yeah defo overthinking this. It’s not like you go like Um what can I say to be rude. Yeah let’s tell them what they have been diagnosed with they’d hate that.
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,617 Legendary Poster
    Within the disability community I have had people correcting me for using a term they are uncomfortable with. I’m always of the opinion that I’d rather know and start using something they feel more ok with than they didn’t say anything and were getting upset about it.

    It very much depends on the person and some will undoubtedly be similar to myself in that they don’t mind either way.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2021
    Yeah but I am confused about this one tbh. Like is everyone saying they are not someone with autism like I’m confused. How is offensive someone tell me why. You don’t have autism then.? Like either way you have diagnose of autism why is offensive and why am I not understanding it. I can only see how being called autistic is offensive
    Post edited by JustV on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    I have autism & prefer “I’m autistic”
    Shaunie wrote: »
    Thanks for sharing. I thought I was going a bit mad not seeing how it is offensive. I was like what is everyone hating on me or what. But It’s quite funny cause those of you offended by me “calling”/ saying those with autism have said it about yourself. All you have to do is type in autism on the boards and it comes up of you offending yourself. Like being called autistic or not. You still are someone with autism so in no way that could be offensive and if you are you might need to ask yourself why.

    The phrase “person with autism “ is offensive for me personally , so I don’t need to ask myself why I find it offensive I just do . I prefer people use Autistic person
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited July 2021
    Those who are autistic find communication challenging. Not everyone is able to express they are uncomfortable or knows how to correct it.. instead they may get upset and not be able to express themselves with words.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    But then you’re saying you don’t have autism? Ahhhhh
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,617 Legendary Poster
    What bothers me more is when a person politely corrects someone using the wrong term. And then the person being corrected insists on using the wrong language even after the person has said it makes them uncomfortable. It’s one of those things where you really have to follow the person’s lead, and just be respectful of each individual person.

    This is how I personally feel - using the wrong term isn’t in itself rude, but persisting with that when corrected is much ruder.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    @Millie2787 so you’re telling me you have never once said “I have autism” never ever ?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,617 Legendary Poster
    GreenTea wrote: »
    Those who are autistic find communication challenging. Not everyone is able to express they are uncomfortable or knows how to correct it.. instead they may get upset and not be able to express themselves with words.

    Have to admit I never thought of this. It’s worth keeping in mind too.

    It’s hard because you don’t know until you know the person.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited July 2021
    Shaunie wrote: »
    @Millie2787 so you’re telling me you have never once said “I have autism” never ever ?



    I have autism makes sense but not commonly used.
    I have autistic doesn't.
    I am autistic does which is how it's often phrased
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2021
    I don’t understand why I should change my communication cause a few of you find it offensive? When my opinion is just an opinion And yours is just also an opinion
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    independent_ wrote: »
    GreenTea wrote: »
    Those who are autistic find communication challenging. Not everyone is able to express they are uncomfortable or knows how to correct it.. instead they may get upset and not be able to express themselves with words.

    Have to admit I never thought of this. It’s worth keeping in mind too.

    It’s hard because you don’t know until you know the person.


    Satastics show that people prefer to be called autistic.. 11% say person with autism and upon further reading..that 11% is mostly professionals..
    Professionals language is different to language you would use socially
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    See it makes that little difference that you’re even confused lol @GreenTea
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,617 Legendary Poster
    Shaunie wrote: »
    But then you’re saying you don’t have autism? Ahhhhh

    Not sure, but if this was referring to me. I’m speaking about myself in the context of my own disability. I have no idea what it’s like to have autism so accept I may be talking absolute rubbish. But was just thinking how it may be similar in that everyone is different and prefers different terminology.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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