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So so low

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    I’m not feeling good at all. Need help. I don’t want to live 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    ItaliaItalia Posts: 220 Trailblazer
    edited July 2020
    Hey Shaunie,

    I hear you! It sound's like things are really difficult right now. You're not alone  <3 How are you doing this morning?


    Shaunie said:
    I’m not feeling good at all. Need help. I don’t want to live 
    Are you able to tell us what type of help you need at the moment? 


    Immediate Help
    In the meantime, there are places you can call 24/7 to talk about these feelings. I know we signpost these numbers a lot, we just want to make sure that you have the support you need 24/7. :)
    • Call Samaritans on 116 123
    • Shout/ Crisis Messenger is open to help by texting 85258
    • Or you can visit the A&E or call 999 if you feel you need urgent help. 

    Please reach out if you need to.

    “People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses.”
    -     Brene Brown

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    Hi thank you italia <3 

    i am so tired. So much shit going on my head & feeling really bad more than normal. always makes me really tired. I will be safe think I’m just going to stay in bed all day. Literally feel like my legs and arms are going to fall off. Feel so weak and tired. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    And I’m sorry.  I feel really annoyed at myself I’ve been on the mix for awhile And I still get this low. It must be annoying to read. Like I don’t want to get better. But I really do 😭. I just want this problem to go and be confident and not feel like this. I just want To be someone else and feel so jelous looking at other peoples lives. I know people be like oh it’s not always real And faking how they feel  Well atleast they have the energy to and confidence to even fake it. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,146 Part of The Furniture
    Shaunie we will never find it annoying . Everyone here knows that road to getter to a better place is never simple and is never a straight line . There’s always going to be bumps , twists and turns and detours and that’s okay because that’s all part of getting better.

    I know it’s must feel disheartening when you feel like this and I know how it feels but know that you are strong and you are amazing.

    All of us here will be here to support you regardless of how many times it is. 

    You are doing so well and I know you don’t see it but I’m and I’m sure everyone else here is proud of you <3

    Stay strong and lots of Aimee and Louie love x
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey Shaunie. I’m so sorry to read you are struggling. Like Millie said, you could never annoy us here. It’s what we’re here for and you probably give more support than you get - we all really appreciate having you here 💜 Remember progress isn’t linear, we all experience ups and downs in some way so understand it’s not straightforward. And we know you want to get better that’s why you’re still here chatting with us. Sending you massive hugs. 

    You’re right that other people’s lives can look great sometimes, doesn’t necessarily mean they are faking anything but they wouldn’t upload the bad times to social media / would talk about them less so that’s why we think a lot of the time that we are doing worse than others. Can’t really compare fairly without knowing what’s going on inside their heads!

    Are you staying in bed today? Feeling any better than you were this morning? And is the lovely Teddy about for a cuddle?

    - Lucy 
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2020
    Thank you lucy <3 i did stay in bed so day and slept a lot. Teddy does help me
    But not feeling much better tbh. 
    And I keep getting gp texts to confirm of Appointments that i don’t know what are for. They’re mostly over the phone asking how I am. And how can they help. When I’m like. I don’t know how you can help. I didn’t ask for your help. Can’t help. I’m going to have to ring tomorrow to ask what they are all for as one could not be over the phone and to get blood tests. 

    Just feeling really shitt and really suicidal 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭Cant cope
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Hey @Shaunie

    Just wanted to pop on to offer you some hugs and let you know that we are all here for you & we care about you :heart: 
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    Don’t want to live. Hate this feeling
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    I really hate myself
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Han93Han93 Posts: 309 The Mix Regular
    Sending you hugs @Shaunie <3

    Have a look at this article - I think it's great - https://medium.com/the-ascent/self-care-for-the-self-hating-b1ea236d9e85

    Hope it helps. And just to remind you we all care about you on this board, so keep talking to us 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    Thanks @Han93
    I’m feeling really bad about work. Cause I’m not going in at all this weekend. Going to get less money AsWell and I’ve just spent so much on new iPhone XR 😓 becoming more stressed about money recently cause my family are and just keep needingTo remember life isn’t all about money
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    StephanieStephanie Moderator Posts: 1,084 Wise Owl
    Sending hugs Shaunie, 

    We all care about you and we are here for you :heart: 

                                   "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light" - Albus Dumbledore 

    "Like when I was down you just had that smile that made me feel like everything's worthwhile. Thinking of the day when you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you"

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    Really struggling:’(
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    joyajoya Posts: 220 Trailblazer
    sending massive hugs shaunie szsz
    everything always goes ^^
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