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So so low

SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
edited June 2020 in Health & Wellbeing
Today i feel really really low. I do normally. And i don’t know why but it feels difference kind of low and i dont understand. I think the main difference is its harder to smile and pretend. Im having such bad thoughts:'(:'(:'(
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Sorry to hear you're having such a low day! 

    Pretending to be okay can get really tiring.

    Is there anything you enjoy you can do? Bit if distraction or self care like a nice cuppa or your fav show? 

    Be kind to yourself x
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited June 2020
    Thank you laine!  Its the thought of getting out of bed tomorrow is just making me really upset:'(. I just don't feel like I'm living. Just feel really dead. No enjoyment and just the stress of finding some energy. Feels like nothing is going to help
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,051 Supreme Poster
    Sending hugs @Shaunie :heart: 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    Imma have to find some memes to cheer you up 😁

    Sending massive hugs ♥️
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Posts: 1,084 Wise Owl
    Hey @Shaunie

    Just wanted to check in and let you know that we all care about you lots :heart:
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Aw thank you all <3
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    I need help 😭😭😭😭😭😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 7 Confirmed not a robot
    Bad days happen, and bad thoughts I know are terrifying.
    just hold on even if it means literally counting down the seconds till morning.
    you’re worth recovery and when you get to a place where you are happier it’ll feel amazing 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Its not a bad day its a bad life but thanks
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Im having VERRRY BAD distructivethoughts
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    Hey, talk to us, what's going on for you at the moment ?
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Keep feeling like the only way to stop the thoughts is to do it
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    There's no hope anymore
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Not sure what to do
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
     I can hear how distressing everything is for you right now beleive me you've been doing so so well ❤️ its okay to feel all the difficult emotions, cry if you need to, scream do star jumps anything to flatten the intense emotions.

    Keep talking to us, is there anything in particular that's happened that's pushed you over the edge?
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited June 2020
    No one understands how shit i feel. Im sure no one truely gives a shit because online they do yet wouldnt even know if i killed myself. Im so fed up. I feel i try really hard but i clearly dont. I feel awful every single minute im awake and im just wondering what the fuck is the point in that. When there is no way to show me things are going to change
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    I genuinely am worried for you, my stomach is in knots kind of worried 😓 I've never had that reaction to someone I know virtually. Your a part of the family, heck it even feels weird when you're not in SC, I legit do wonder whether you're okay if you've not turned up❤️

    I've been really really shitty at giving advice and my empathy has dimmed a bit but it's just a side effect of the medication. It's not something I talk about too much but this thread isn't about me. 

    I believe you when you say that you tell us that you've been trying
    I belive you when you tell us just how hard things have been for you

    You've been dealing with things that aren't going to dissappear over night hun, it's an uphill struggle and you've been doing your absolutely fucking best with the tools you have❤️

    You're loved very much here, you're family 💞
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 21 Boards Initiate
    You can do this @Shaunie keep on fighting, we're all here with you and we all believe in you. It's hard right now but keep going and it will get better soon <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Posts: 1,084 Wise Owl
    Hey @Shaunie

    It sounds like you were struggling last night, it's positive you reached out for support on here :heart:

    We care about you, how are you feeling now?

    Sending lots of hugs :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    edited September 18
    Echo @Past User and @Stephanie ❤️

    How are you doing today hun? 
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    In hospital sorry 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    Shaunie said:
    In hospital sorry 
    You don't need to be sorry, I knew you were really struggling. I was so worried, you can always always talk about anything on your mind, well be right here ❤️
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,051 Supreme Poster
    Hey Shaunie,

    Just wanted to send you more hugs :heart: sorry to hear you’re struggling so much.

    You can do this, I believe in you.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you. I am just waiting to go home whenever that is 😓😓. I keep being sick despite them giving me anti sickness and my throat is killing ne now
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    I am sorry i worried you salix. Hope youre okay
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 220 Trailblazer
    hope you better now shaunie, we're here for you ^^
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited June 2020
    Hope you are ok.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    Shaunie said:
    I am sorry i worried you salix. Hope youre okay
    I'm all good, I'm just relieved to hear from you  <3


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 93 Budding Regular
    Sending hugs <3

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