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[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Just got a text to make an urgent appointment with my psychiatrist + cpn.. Now I'm panicking.. Is this cause the police were called last week? Is it cause of my stock pile I threw out? If the send a message to make an urgent appointment they should at least say why! 😥
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Shaunie said:
    BubblesGoesBoo said:
    BubblesGoesBoo said:
    Drinking after my meds in the hope it will knock me out for the night 🙃
    Probably shouldn't be drinking on antibiotics but hey ho. 
    Stay safe <3
    Thanks, but it worked, knocked me out for like 12 hours 😂😂
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    My hips have gone and it's extremely painful and I'm walking like I'm 95 years old and there's a huge pressure feeling when I sit down.
    Well this is fucking fun 😭😬
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    edited January 2020
    Im trggered. My head is glamariousing eating disorder behaviours. 
    Im tempted to go on youtube and type in eating disorders stories and trigger myself mor
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,878 Extreme Poster
    Not getting out of bed I have crumbled inside feel shit 
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Didn't get shortlisted for a job I applied for which is gutting but there's other opportunities
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    remember when my old psychiatrist admitted me to the psychiatric hospital after my first time meeting him and saying i would only be there for 2 weeks and then i ended up having to stay for 8 months?

    Yeahh that’s why i have trust issues. 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I just want to leave so badly. I can't sleep because I keep thinking about the pain. I'm nothing but a bitch and a disgrace, the world's better off without me here. I really wish I'd never been born. 
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Hugs and cuddles to whoever needs them today, it's Friday, nearly the end of the week 🤗🤗🤗
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Got hurt today so that's not fun
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    Was speaking to another staff in primark and she asked what i wanna do when im older. I said be a peer support worker and she asked what it was. So yeah i said is having mental health challenges and then going onto helping others with mental health challenges. And she asked that mean i did and said yeah and was asking wht. I just said BPD. And the she was like "but it means youre better right?"  And i just "yeah I am" 😭😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited January 2020
    .
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    Feel sick 🤢
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,799 Master Poster
    Had a scary day. 
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    BubblesGoesBoo said:
    So stressed I feel sick, liver, please be okay .. 

    I hope you're okay, I've been in that possition before and it's scary. We're all here for and I really do hope your liver is okay 💛
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    I shouldn't of said what i did in group chat. Now i feel awful today and really bad 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    I want my sister to stop fucking shouting at me 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬. I cant take this anymore. All she fucking does is moan and moan about me. Fuck off
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited January 2020
    I'm having the worst time. Everything is just impossible to handle with this bloody mental health thing. Like, I'm a bit ill or something right now and sometimes I've been crying about it because I'm somehow actually that anxious that something's awfully wrong (I get scared about nothing in particular sometimes and I'm not sure if it could be clinical anxiety or if it's just set off from general stress). And looking after my guinea pig feels too hard because it's hard to motivate myself to groom her and the like. Every external stress like my sibling having a fit makes me feel like my body will just crumble from being overwhelmed. I can't think about the future because I don't know what I want out of life due to nothing giving me enjoyment. Whenever I'm interacting with someone I'm having thoughts that they don't want to see or hear from me or that they don't like me or that I'll do something to make them not like me - I never go out shopping and things on my own because I've managed to get so nervous about it due to feeling that way. It goes on.

    I feel really fed up of it and I wish I could get a rest. Life seems like really low quality and my mind doesn't stop trying to convince me of insert-things. It makes me want to kill myself so badly. That way I could leave this world behind and I feel like no one would miss me, if anything they'd have a bother lifted off of them (I'm still safe sadly :/).

    ETA: sorry haha. I've just noticed I go on about pretty much the same thing all the time. It's hard not to because it's basically all my life is at the moment.
    Post edited by Kathleen07 on
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    Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    I think today is one of those days where I need to take 5 minutes to recompose myself.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm having an anxiety overload. I've managed to calm down a little for now but I'm still scared and dramatically think I'm dying.
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    Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    I feel like many reasons compiled into one, is why I feel sad. It would be too easy to resolve to old ways but I really really want to stay on the right path because I know that it's my absolute dream to work as a paramedic or research in the feild of infectious diseases. 

    I have to learn to cope on my own, I can't keep running to somone when things aren't so great and I'm trying to remind myself that it's perfectly okay to feel sad from time to time. I don't want my sadness to to turn into anger because deep down I feel frustrated that I feel like this. 
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Suspected appendicitis 😭😭
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,799 Master Poster
    :(
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    @BubblesGoesBoo you must be in a lot of pain 😢
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    Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    Kasa2103 said:
    :(
    Hey, what's up? 
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,799 Master Poster
    Salix_alba_2019 said:
    Kasa2103 said:
    :(
    Hey, what's up? 
    I don't want to be a burden. 
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    @Kasa2103 it's okay lovely, you won't ever be a burden but I also understand if you don't want to talk 💛

    Sending you massive hugs💛🦄
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    ElizabethElizabeth Posts: 93 Budding Regular
    Counselling was so hard, how can you change your thoughts, cause mine seem to all be wrong. 
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