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Just need comforting please

RicochetRicochet Posts: 13 Fast Newbie
edited January 2019 in Health & Wellbeing
I have already complained for about 7 times now but this is the only way of letting it out without feeling stupid. My mum found out I was 'going through things' and she acted like she was calm. I had a breakdown at school and had to go home. She found out that I self-harm. Did she keep asking me why? didn't it hurt? (it didn't help that I was fully ashamed) Seeing my family isn't the same, everyone prefers my cousins. I am very clumsy and due to my mistakes, I have been told by my mum that she wishes I would go live with my dad (he has never been around). I guess lots of parents say the same too when they are angry, especially if they are African. I had gone to camhs but they said that i only have emotional regulation problems. I didnt tell them i self-harm.

I only self-harm because i wanted to get back at the people being rude to me. Nope just another dramatic episode from me again. I want to fullly hate them but its so easy to forgive people and by just saying hi, i get filled with mania. I hate this so much. im a black 16 year old boy and im a bitch to everyone. I want to stop feeling shit. im ugly,fat,dumb, and what's worse is i didnt even have a bad childhood so theres no reason for me to be like this. just please comfort me because cause i have nothing else right now.

[edited by moderator]
Kathleen07

Comments

  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,895 Postholic
    Hey @Ricochet, I'm sorry you're going through all this. You sound really miserable. I just wanted to send hugs and best wishes. Also feel free to let things out as much as you want. <3
    Ricochet
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,331 The Mix Elder
    edited January 2019
    Hi I’m sorry you’re feeling this way :(  self harming is nothing to feel ashamed about — don’t have to deal with it alone. Do you think you would tell Camhs when you self-harm.? It may help them to understand your emotions more  

    Sometimes people don’t mean what they say when they’re angry and maybe your mum didn’t mean it 

    & you can still have all these feelings - with a bad childhood or not. Your feelings are valid. 

    Hope youre feeling lil bit better soon

    [edited by moderator]
    “If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care” Marvin J. Ashton
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 689 Incredible Poster
    Hey @Ricochet I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling right now. Like @Shaunie said, you have nothing to be ashamed of, so please do keep talking to us here, we are here for you <3

    I understand you feel like you didn't have a "bad childhood" so shouldn't be "like this" but your feelings are still valid and you are still important. I think talking to camhs about your self-harm might help, if they can fully understand what you are going through? What do you think? 

    Sending hugs and hope you are feeling OK today

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • lily123lily123 Posts: 1 Noob
    I have recently stopped self harming coz I realised that I wasnt allowed to let my anger out at home but used to inflict on myself but now I think Im better at saying how Im actually feeling rather than just turning my anger inwards and hating what I look like and do etc, bit I still struggle with this a lot :(  :/
    lil xxxxxxxx
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