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Just need comforting please

RicochetRicochet Posts: 13 Settling in
edited January 2019 in Health & Wellbeing
I have already complained for about 7 times now but this is the only way of letting it out without feeling stupid. My mum found out I was 'going through things' and she acted like she was calm. I had a breakdown at school and had to go home. She found out that I self-harm. Did she keep asking me why? didn't it hurt? (it didn't help that I was fully ashamed) Seeing my family isn't the same, everyone prefers my cousins. I am very clumsy and due to my mistakes, I have been told by my mum that she wishes I would go live with my dad (he has never been around). I guess lots of parents say the same too when they are angry, especially if they are African. I had gone to camhs but they said that i only have emotional regulation problems. I didnt tell them i self-harm.

I only self-harm because i wanted to get back at the people being rude to me. Nope just another dramatic episode from me again. I want to fullly hate them but its so easy to forgive people and by just saying hi, i get filled with mania. I hate this so much. im a black 16 year old boy and im a bitch to everyone. I want to stop feeling shit. im ugly,fat,dumb, and what's worse is i didnt even have a bad childhood so theres no reason for me to be like this. just please comfort me because cause i have nothing else right now.

[edited by moderator]
Post edited by TheMix on

Comments

  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Hey @Ricochet, I'm sorry you're going through all this. You sound really miserable. I just wanted to send hugs and best wishes. Also feel free to let things out as much as you want. <3
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    edited January 2019
    Hi I’m sorry you’re feeling this way :(  self harming is nothing to feel ashamed about — don’t have to deal with it alone. Do you think you would tell Camhs when you self-harm.? It may help them to understand your emotions more  

    Sometimes people don’t mean what they say when they’re angry and maybe your mum didn’t mean it 

    & you can still have all these feelings - with a bad childhood or not. Your feelings are valid. 

    Hope youre feeling lil bit better soon

    [edited by moderator]
    Post edited by TheMix on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey @Ricochet I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling right now. Like @Shaunie said, you have nothing to be ashamed of, so please do keep talking to us here, we are here for you <3

    I understand you feel like you didn't have a "bad childhood" so shouldn't be "like this" but your feelings are still valid and you are still important. I think talking to camhs about your self-harm might help, if they can fully understand what you are going through? What do you think? 

    Sending hugs and hope you are feeling OK today

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • lily123lily123 Posts: 1 Just got here
    I have recently stopped self harming coz I realised that I wasnt allowed to let my anger out at home but used to inflict on myself but now I think Im better at saying how Im actually feeling rather than just turning my anger inwards and hating what I look like and do etc, bit I still struggle with this a lot :(  :/
    lil xxxxxxxx
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