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Dealing with grief

hydrangeahydrangea EnglandPosts: 27 Cool Newbie
Just got a call from my mam earlier this evening. Gabby, one of my cats, who had been my best friend since I was a baby, got put to sleep today. Her health hasn't been so good these past couple years since she's so old, however this time her health deteriorated so harshly and rapidly that the kindest thing to do was put her out of her misery.

I knew something like this would happen while I was away at uni. It's the last thing I thought of when I said goodbye to her on the day I left home. But it's still so so painful. I never got to give her a proper final goodbye, and I'll have to wait until I go home at Christmas to hold a funeral for her. I can't stop crying and my urge to self harm is worse during this period of intense grief. I'll love her and miss her forever💔
I reserve my right to feel uncomfortable, reserve my right to be afraid
I make mistakes and I am humbled every step of the way
I want to be a better person, I wanna know the master plan
Cast your stones, cast your judgement, you don't make me who I am.


  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,866 Postholic
    Oh hydrangea, I'm so sorry. Of course it's painful :(

    Grief is an awful thing to go through and I can really sense how hard losing Gabby must be. It sounds like she was really precious to you. I understand having those feelings around not having had the chance to give her a proper final goodbye.

    Let yourself feel and take things as easy you need, and we're/I'm here if you need anything. She's lucky to have had such a loving owner x

    Sending lots of hugs <3
  • StephanieStephanie Posts: 485 Super Moderator
    Hey hydrangea :heart:

    Just wanted to send you some hugs and let you know that we are here for you :heart:

    Echo'ing what Kathleen has said about grief, letting yourself feel, you don't need to go through this alone, we are here for you :heart:

                                   "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light" 

    - Albus Dumbledore 
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,206 The Mix Elder
    Im so sorry to hear @hydrangea
    Sounds so painful right now. I hope with time things can feel that tiny bit less painful and you can think of all happy things when you think about Gabby

    lots of hugs <3
    “If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care” Marvin J. Ashton
  • AzzimanAzziman The Mix convert Posts: 572 Extreme Poster
    Hey @hydrangea,

    Sorry for your loss - would like to pass on my condolences. We're here with youx

    Much love <3
  • GemmaGemma Posts: 62 Moderator
    So sorry for you loss, I also had my dog Tilly be put to sleep while I was at university. I knew it was the kindest thing for my family to do and that they couldn't wait but it was still so awful to not be able to be there and say goodbye. 
    I still miss her a lot but what helped me was to think about celebrating her life and knowing that she lived a good and happy one. I hope that might also help you to think about and we're here to support you.
  • mags98mags98 Posts: 149 Moderator
    Hi @hydrangea

    Sorry for your loss, I know how painful and hard it can be when you lose a pet because they often become more like a family member than a pet.

    I hope you are feeling a little better. Blue Cross do a pet bereavement service support which might be of use to you or anyone else going through a similar situation, where you can just talk to someone about it via phone call or email. 
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